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  1. #1
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Default Is my Fi Showing?

    Fi people, do you have any issues using your Fi responsibly? I can sometimes become pretty pissed when someone hits me square in the Fi. I have no interest in diminishing my Fi function as I really love my life's work of refining my personal thoughts and beliefs, but I don't like when I look back on my behavior and see it as over-reactionary or foolish. Non-Fi people, feel free to chime in with any observations or insights on the matter.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Yeah I'm totally reactionary too at this very second I feel no need to apologize for it tho. Offensive people b pissing me off yo!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    I feel like when I react to things it always goes wrong, like my reactions are weird and the things I say are in some other language. I'd be fine with having an attitude otherwise, but I don't like always having to explain myself. I'm still going to say what I feel and think when I get angry, but I need to cool off first. It's annoying that other people seem to not have to do this, and people think what they say is awesome. Maybe some people think what I say is awesome too and I just don't know it.

    And at this point I'm not sure if I use Fi or Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Fi people, do you have any issues using your Fi responsibly? I can sometimes become pretty pissed when someone hits me square in the Fi. I have no interest in diminishing my Fi function as I really love my life's work of refining my personal thoughts and beliefs, but I don't like when I look back on my behavior and see it as over-reactionary or foolish. Non-Fi people, feel free to chime in with any observations or insights on the matter.
    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    I feel like when I react to things it always goes wrong, like my reactions are weird and the things I say are in some other language. I'd be fine with having an attitude otherwise, but I don't like always having to explain myself. I'm still going to say what I feel and think when I get angry, but I need to cool off first. It's annoying that other people seem to not have to do this, and people think what they say is awesome. Maybe some people think what I say is awesome too and I just don't know it.

    And at this point I'm not sure if I use Fi or Fe.
    Well, I dislike it when people dismiss my Ti and it's obvious they haven't really thought about it. But, I 've gotten better about articulating as I've gotten older.. I think I'm getting more confidence in expressing it.

    Maybe it's similar for Fi.... maybe the necessary thing is to have confidence when expressing it and develop strategies and methods of communicating it to people, as well as defenses. It wasn't something I got consciously, it was something that I got through just having more confidence and taking more risks.

    I feel like when I react to things it always goes wrong, like my reactions are weird and the things I say are in some other language.
    Actually, I feel this too. I'm pretty sure in my case it has something to do with unconscious extroverted feeling. It's as though something else has taken control of me.


    I'd be fine with having an attitude otherwise, but I don't like always having to explain myself.
    I'll explain myself, but I always have the sense that some people aren't going to get it, and with those people, I use other defenses.

    I'm still going to say what I feel and think when I get angry, but I need to cool off first. It's annoying that other people seem to not have to do this, and people think what they say is awesome.

    Maybe some people think what I say is awesome too and I just don't know it.
    I think you are pretty good at articulating yourself, actually. Also, I see more introverted thinking in you than extroverted thinking.

    As for anyone harping about PC tendencies, I'm puzzled as to why this is somehow associated with Extraverted Feeling. I'm not really that PC, but I get that lobbed at me anyway, or accused of being a "nice guy" ( I still don't know what that means) or something.

    Perhaps it's because I associate "PC" less with a specific set of beliefs, and more with a way of being humorless, dogmatic and self-important about them.

    I think you're either INTP or INFJ. I don't see Fi in you. I can't explain why, other than when Feeling comes out, it doesn't seem "slippery" and mysterious.

    Usually I deal with the PC charges, or accusations of being a "wimp", or whatever, by fighting dirty. This might not be what you want to do, though.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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  5. #5
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Well, I dislike it when people dismiss my Ti and it's obvious they haven't really thought about it. But, I 've gotten better about articulating as I've gotten older.. I think I'm getting more confidence in expressing it.

    Maybe it's similar for Fi.... maybe the necessary thing is to have confidence when expressing it and develop strategies and methods of communicating it to people, as well as defenses. It wasn't something I got consciously, it was something that I got through just having more confidence and taking more risks.



    Actually, I feel this too. I'm pretty sure in my case it has something to do with unconscious extroverted feeling. It's as though something else has taken control of me.




    I'll explain myself, but I always have the sense that some people aren't going to get it, and with those people, I use other defenses.

    I'm still going to say what I feel and think when I get angry, but I need to cool off first. It's annoying that other people seem to not have to do this, and people think what they say is awesome.



    I think you are pretty good at articulating yourself, actually. Also, I see more introverted thinking in you than extroverted thinking.

    As for anyone harping about PC tendencies, I'm puzzled as to why this is somehow associated with Extraverted Feeling. I'm not really that PC, but I get that lobbed at me anyway, or accused of being a "nice guy" ( I still don't know what that means) or something.

    Perhaps it's because I associate "PC" less with a specific set of beliefs, and more with a way of being humorless, dogmatic and self-important about them.

    I think you're either INTP or INFJ. I don't see Fi in you. I can't explain why, other than when Feeling comes out, it doesn't seem "slippery" and mysterious.

    Usually I deal with the PC charges, or accusations of being a "wimp", or whatever, by fighting dirty. This might not be what you want to do, though.
    Thanks.

  6. #6
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    Your Fi is only "showing" (negative connotation) if it's reacting to something that doesn't exist. You know, the typical feeler flip out about nothing. If it's reacting properly, then no one will notice.

    Like "murder is wrong" could be one of your strongly held beliefs. And if someone killed someone for no reason, especially in cold blood, then no one will really notice you losing it over this. But if you just start connecting random things then accuse someone of murder and then go off about how wrong it is, then it's "showing."

  7. #7
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    Yeah, I've really been working on my patience. Other types are better at being patient and letting things blow by, and responding later, rather than Fi's desire to immediately respond in direct proportion to the "transgression" committed. I've been trying to sit back and let it go. Sometimes I think about how the situation would go if I weren't present - you know the saying "life will go on". Fi sees things as a HUGE deal that sometimes are, but sometimes aren't. Sometimes I'm glad when I've been the one to speak up, but other times it's better to wait and orchestrated a more finely-planned counterattack later. I try to weigh whether I need to act in the moment to have the best lasting effect, or whether I'd be more effective waiting and plotting (or just letting it go entirely). Like stepping back to remember what my big goals and big values are and deciding whether reaction is the best way to pursue those goals and values.

  8. #8
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    @ I feel like when I react to things it always goes wrong, like my reactions are weird and the things I say are in some other language. I'd be fine with having an attitude otherwise, but I don't like always having to explain myself. I'm still going to say what I feel and think when I get angry, but I need to cool off first. It's annoying that other people seem to not have to do this, and people think what they say is awesome. Maybe some people think what I say is awesome too and I just don't know it.
    I can relate to this quite a bit. I don't like the idea of having to explain myself, and the prospect of doing so is overwhelming. I get a scrambled feeling when directly confronted because I don't want to miss anything, don't want to be misunderstood, am usually emotionally charged in the moment. It usually starts with not understanding why anyone would question someone's inner workings like that. If I could sum up my reaction in one phrase it would be 'back off.'

    When I do try to explain myself, though, it ends up being way too complicated to be reduced to a simple response in a conversation. I'd like to schedule a meeting with them for later in the week, compose my thoughts, and spend a couple hours going over the ins and outs of it all. Of course, that's never happened, so I just end up spewing out disjointed points from all my angles that I can think of on the fly, and I fear sounding completely disingenuous, like I must be trying to lie or put on an act since I'm stumbling it over so badly.

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    As for anyone harping about PC tendencies, I'm puzzled as to why this is somehow associated with Extraverted Feeling. I'm not really that PC, but I get that lobbed at me anyway, or accused of being a "nice guy" ( I still don't know what that means) or something.

    Perhaps it's because I associate "PC" less with a specific set of beliefs, and more with a way of being humorless, dogmatic and self-important about them.


    Usually I deal with the PC charges, or accusations of being a "wimp", or whatever, by fighting dirty. This might not be what you want to do, though.
    The whole PC and extroverted feeling thing is kind of hard for me to understand too. I have been known to say the wrong thing sometimes, but I'm very concerned about it. I'm not an Fe user, but because of Ne I'm so aware of people's responses to things, and have a genuine desire to keep peace and certainly don't want to unintentionally offend. I try to be sensitive within reason [although trite PC bullshit is not something I revere, and I can actually become a little rebellious against it] with the way I word things and the semantics I use.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  9. #9
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    gonna post in this thread even though it's a little different from the OP.

    how can Fi users become more sensitive to Fe? i feel like i'm playing a guessing game trying to figure out what is 'right and wrong' in the eyes of Fe a lot of times. i hate always blaming my Fi, but i honestly just naturally approach things from a Fi standpoint (are my intentions, actions, and personal values aligned?). and honestly, since the morality of my actions is so important to me, to have it questioned or flat out denied is actually pretty hurtful.

    however, i know Fi is only one side of the feelings coin. and i want to learn how to compromise and work with the Fe users in my life. but whenever i think about tackling this issue, i get overwhelmed. how on earth can i learn what i 'should do' from the Fe perspective in like every situation? (i think Ne plays a part here too, where i see every situation as unique and don't want to assume too much because of past experiences). halp!
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  10. #10
    Stansmith
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    I don't really worry about it. My typical way of approaching things is fine for me and I can adjust when needed/I feel like it.

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