Thank you for the response @Nicoleta. I appreciate it when I've ventured to give the clumsy version of my observation to have someone to refine it and define it properly.
Oh! One thing I thought of later - sometimes things that get thrown out there as "fact" about you are actually only a working hypothesis, except the NFJ types often assume that everyone thinks like that, so they forget to mention that what sounds like a statement is always up for negotiation, nuance, correction and so on.
Inversely, Te statements are the same way. With my ESTJ former boyfriend, I never realized that he was actually much less decided than he sounded about some things that to me sounded like solid plans and was actually indirectly asking for my input. I don't usually verbalize decisions until I'm really sure that that's what I want. People related statements though are totally up for grabs and I'm always sorting, recategorizing, etc.
One thing others find somewhat unsettling is the NFJ drive to understand how people work, and to analyze other people even when they aren't around to try to figure out their behaviour (so they can respond more appropriately). For me, there is no greater compliment that someone truly trying to understand me and get to know me well, so it sometimes doesn't occur to me that other people might not appreciate that in the same way.
Often NFJ people are much more focussed on the intended outcome rather than on process. So when you try to help them work through the process, they will become impatient unless they can see how it's directly leading towards the goal of the interaction. For NFP types, it seems to me that they are much more process oriented than outcome oriented, so they are more likely to see where the process takes them. They find value in the process even more than in what it yields.
Your feelings are valid, so rather than suppressing them, perhaps just adding to the information you have to understand what the other person is doing will help with your frustration at the situation. Then you can at least explain to your friend how those assumptions affect you. She might not really understand at first, but once she is alerted to the differences, I think it will influence her interactions.
(Oh yeah - I also forgot. NFJs can seem rather closed to other's input at first, but they do tend to mull over what you have to say, test it for truth, see where it fits in and try to implement some change over time. So, just be patient - they're hearing more than you may initially think).
Anyway, don't know if any of this is new or helpful to you. Usual disclaimer that I am not speaking for all NFJs or NFPs, but just am describing trends I've noticed.