User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 47

  1. #1
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    729 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,634

    Default Typing your Exes

    I've been thinking about some of my past relationships and personality types. I had two serious relationships before my husband (lots of less important ones, who might be harder for me to type). I'm thinking their types were ESTJ and INTP.

    When I think about things that did and didn't work for me with these guys, it's interesting to see how they match up with their personalities.

    ESTJ: He was a very good "traditional" boyfriend. Bought me flowers and gifts, took me on dates, etc. He took me to parties, and we had a lot of fun dancing and living it up together. He was also really sensitive and sweet which I liked. What I disliked was his need to be so manly (wanting to get ripped, being overly confident in groups), how much importance he placed on status/image (he's a doctor now, and I feel like he wanted me to be his smart and sexy trophy wife and we'd have the nicest cars and the biggest house, blah blah blah), and we didn't connect on things like art and music and things (I think I needed some N to connect with in retrospect). Now he's with a super hot blonde who I'm sure is very smart. I don't think he'd have it any other way, haha.

    INTP: He was a lot "cooler" to me initially. Punk kid who played in a band and wrote songs in his room. We went on lots of adventures together, played like kids, had lots of deep convos, and wrote and played music together. He had the tendency to be a little melancholy and moody, so I liked being able to be there for him through that, and to cheer him up sometimes. What did not work was how jealous and irrationally angry he'd become. He was really suspicious and I didn't get that. I didn't like when he was suspicious of others, but I hated when it involved me. He always said it was just other guys he didn't trust, but he'd accuse me of flirting and get really angry when I talked to other guys. He also didn't want to grow up, and I was ready to stop the party all the time life we were living and start working toward my career. Now he's with a girl who's a little more hardcore (probably doesn't put up with jealousy and will party a little harder than I wanted to).

    So, what are some types of your exes? What did and didn't work about their personalities combined with yours? Also, any critiques of my hack-job analyses are always welcomed and appreciated. Just be nice please.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  2. #2
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    3w2 so
    Posts
    1,671

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    I've been thinking about some of my past relationships and personality types. I had two serious relationships before my husband (lots of less important ones, who might be harder for me to type). I'm thinking their types were ESTJ and INTP.

    When I think about things that did and didn't work for me with these guys, it's interesting to see how they match up with their personalities.

    ESTJ: He was a very good "traditional" boyfriend. Bought me flowers and gifts, took me on dates, etc. He took me to parties, and we had a lot of fun dancing and living it up together. He was also really sensitive and sweet which I liked. What I disliked was his need to be so manly (wanting to get ripped, being overly confident in groups), how much importance he placed on status/image (he's a doctor now, and I feel like he wanted me to be his smart and sexy trophy wife and we'd have the nicest cars and the biggest house, blah blah blah), and we didn't connect on things like art and music and things (I think I needed some N to connect with in retrospect). Now he's with a super hot blonde who I'm sure is very smart. I don't think he'd have it any other way, haha.

    INTP: He was a lot "cooler" to me initially. Punk kid who played in a band and wrote songs in his room. We went on lots of adventures together, played like kids, had lots of deep convos, and wrote and played music together. He had the tendency to be a little melancholy and moody, so I liked being able to be there for him through that, and to cheer him up sometimes. What did not work was how jealous and irrationally angry he'd become. He was really suspicious and I didn't get that. I didn't like when he was suspicious of others, but I hated when it involved me. He always said it was just other guys he didn't trust, but he'd accuse me of flirting and get really angry when I talked to other guys. He also didn't want to grow up, and I was ready to stop the party all the time life we were living and start working toward my career. Now he's with a girl who's a little more hardcore (probably doesn't put up with jealousy and will party a little harder than I wanted to).

    So, what are some types of your exes? What did and didn't work about their personalities combined with yours? Also, any critiques of my hack-job analyses are always welcomed and appreciated. Just be nice please.
    Something I like about you, nicolita, is that you're always posting honest and introspection-inciting threads. Good for you!

    PS: Your ESTJ ex sounds just like my brother, haha.

  3. #3
    reflecting pool Typh0n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,096

    Default

    Theyre all ESFPs. Not sure if thats a good or bad thing.

  4. #4
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    PORG
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    9,056

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    INTP: He was a lot "cooler" to me initially. Punk kid who played in a band and wrote songs in his room. We went on lots of adventures together, played like kids, had lots of deep convos, and wrote and played music together. He had the tendency to be a little melancholy and moody, so I liked being able to be there for him through that, and to cheer him up sometimes. What did not work was how jealous and irrationally angry he'd become. He was really suspicious and I didn't get that. I didn't like when he was suspicious of others, but I hated when it involved me. He always said it was just other guys he didn't trust, but he'd accuse me of flirting and get really angry when I talked to other guys. He also didn't want to grow up, and I was ready to stop the party all the time life we were living and start working toward my career. Now he's with a girl who's a little more hardcore (probably doesn't put up with jealousy and will party a little harder than I wanted to).

    So, what are some types of your exes? What did and didn't work about their personalities combined with yours? Also, any critiques of my hack-job analyses are always welcomed and appreciated. Just be nice please.
    Sounds more like an ISTP, to be honest. What evidence is there for Ne? The punk get-up?

    I've dated an INFP and an ESFP. The INFP had some similarities to me, but it turns out she didn't understand me that well at the end of the day. And I never felt like I understood her; she was incredibly opaque despite her intelligence. It became hard to relax around her and open up, because I never knew what was going to set her off, though I tried to understand as best as I could. We were really good at talking out are problems, but I felt like on the rare occasion I brought up something that was important to me, and that I don't like people stepping on me, she didn't show the same care or effort I did. She kind of just forgot about it.

    The ESFP... I feel a little "played" by this one. We met at work. Physically she was pretty much exactly what I wanted. I wouldn't say she was dumb, but.... she didn't seem to have time for the useless intellectual matters that are my bread and butter, and in retrospect it almost seems like she only pretended to be interested in nerdy things to get into my pants. I also gave pretty good warnings about what I was really like, and she said "oh that won't be a problem." And for a while, it wasn't. Until it was. I don't get how anyone can lack that much reflection or consideration. She seemed incredibly carefree, and I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells all the time. But it turns out that was kind of an act. She had a lot of issues with the relationship that she wasn't expressing. I could sense something was off, but I could never get her to talk about them. I don't think she thought talking about them would have done any good. I also wonder if she thought she could "help" me somehow, and when it turned out I didn't want that "help", that became too much.

    Looking back, I wonder if the INFP, too, thought I was someone I wasn't. (In turn, I might have thought the same.) But the things is, even with you're real with people and tell them truth, if they're attracted, they'll ignore that. They won't listen. I'm not sure that this is a woman thing, or even an NF thing. I'm not sure that I wouldn't do the same thing.

    I might be open to an INFP again, but ESFPs scare me, because they can do such a good job of tricking me.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  5. #5
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx/so
    Posts
    5,151

    Default

    From most recent to oldest!

    ISFJ 9w8 sx/sp: A few years older than me, he was that all-American kind of guy. Football player, friendly, attractive, he was awesome! On the inside he was like a giant teddy bear which is more or less true on the outside as well because HE WAS SO MUCH FUN TO HUG OMG. It started out with him needing someone to vent his emotions to and me being there for him. It eventually evolved into flirting, random hook ups, me venting to him as well, talking about the big things in life, etc. It was basically a relationship without the label of one so I still consider it a relationship and it only ended because I moved across the country to go to school in New York. He's an amazing friend though and I still text him a lot. I miss this relationship the most. While the other two were serious relationships as well, this one was probably the most committed and fulfilling.

    ESFJ 6w7 so/sx: The way I'd describe this relationship is "fun" lol. He was a lot of fun. He would love to watch scary movies with me because he'd like to cuddle with me if I got scared. He was also kind of a show off as well but in an endearing way - he would sing for me, bring me to his soccer games, etc. He was also really fun to flirt with but we didn't really do a lot beyond that. But I enjoyed when he spoke in German or Spanish a lot. I eventually broke it off because I was bored of the relationship. It was happy, but it was too light. There was a lack of emotional intensity and I didn't like it.

    ENFJ 2w3 sp/so: I'd prefer not to get into this one. He was a liar and that's that.

    In conclusion: come at me FJs.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  6. #6
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    yolo Ni
    Posts
    591

    Default

    ISFJ: I don't know how I managed to survive five years with this one. He was quite sweet, but we didn't spend much time together because his friends didn't like me, he wasn't the most romantic person in the world and unlike me, he didn't want to have sex. It ended when we were 17 and he moved away, which left me heartbroken for a year. Looking back I don't really know what I saw in him, he was pretty boring.

    INTP: We had a five year age gap and when people ask what went wrong I usually say he was to old for me, but really? Sure, he was really nice and he helped me overcome lots of my fears and insecurities when I was younger, which I'm really thankful for. But he had this great love for deep and serious conversations, which I didn't have, and he wasn't the most sensual person in the world. He was an okay kisser, but nothing else. We wasn't really good at cuddling or stroking or anything. If I had to describe what the sex was like, it was just him poking away. A lot of times he wanted to do it in the car ('that's adventurous!'), but I found it really uncomfortable. Somehow he thought I liked reading books too... I didn't mind in the beginning, but once the endorphins faded, I realized we just didn't have enough in common. We're still friends, though, and he has a new girlfriend who I think is an ESFJ (or an ESFP, but I can't imagine we're the same type).

    ENFP: I don't think this one lasted enough to actually call him an ex, but let's rate him anyway. Really fun, dorky in a cute way, a little pervy from time to time (which I liked), extremely polite, a little bit shy. Can't say a lot more about him, just that I left him because I was actually attracted to someone else at that point.
    Ewww is the new sexy


    Hi! Ask me things, maybe I'll answer them! Just click here

    And here's my functions: Se-Te-Fi-Fe-Ni-Ti-Ne-Si


  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    significant ones-

    infp bf- super sweet sensitive guy, we had picnics and super deep long talks and were extra goofy and sweet with each other.

    esxp bf- probably estp but was so damn feely towards me and dramatic and obsessive...so idk- we got along well...mostly...but i have no idea now why i was ever with this guy- worst period of my life ever.

    infj gf- super sweet and cool lots of great talks...about any and everything.

    istj husband- we actually got along really really well as friends...had issues with his negativity and controlling nature but when we weren't trying to be a "team" we were great...in a living completely separate lives together and don't try and tell me what to do ever and well be fine sort of way....but socially...we had so much fun together. he was super sweet when he wanted to be...but such an ass also...like to the core.

    enfp bf- one of my favorite people ive met seriously...he was my best friend. i knew without question how much this guy cared for me...i loved the way he saw me...and i liked who i was with him. i was always proud to be with him and loved how great he was with everyone i introduced him to. he was silly but so thoughtful and intelligent....just truly a beautiful person

    infp- current bf- such a deeply romantic...beautiful us against the world bond with him. we both feel deeply protective of each other and admire each others different qualities. he's shy with other people but so funny and out there with me...always trying to make me laugh and has such a funny way of seeing the world. love that we can talk about anything...and love how open minded he is...in every way...he's deeply compassionate and loving and we never get bored of each other.

    however we do have some issues mostly related to my being sx and him being sp i believe but we're figuring it out.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    17,906

    Default

    I had a relationship with and ISFP in college which lasted several years. I've read that ISFPs have "a deep capacity for love" and I'd say this was pretty much true. She was a wonderful person and we were very close. There were a few things that I recall as challenges. The first is that my tendency to confront things and general lack of tact at that age led to many situations where I would inadvertently trounce on her feelings. She was quiet but a pretty emotional person there was an intensity in the relationship which for the most part was good but had its downsides at times. The bigger challenge was in verbal communication. I think she had a hard time expressing herself. Imagine Ethan Hawke in Before Sunrise or Before Sunset and how they interacted with each other - except in my case, the girl wouldn't talk about anything or have a view on things. That's what it was like. I also didn't like having to decide everything all the time. I'm pretty sure she was a phobic Enneagram 6 - fear, security those seemed to be a theme. As an example, she was always afraid of what other people might think about this or that. I was like who cares what they'll think. That's what I recall as the issues. There were a lot of very good things though.

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

    Tri-type 639

  9. #9
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    PORG
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    9,056

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post

    infp- current bf- such a deeply romantic...beautiful us against the world bond with him. we both feel deeply protective of each other and admire each others different qualities. he's shy with other people but so funny and out there with me...always trying to make me laugh and has such a funny way of seeing the world. love that we can talk about anything...and love how open minded he is...

    This is sort of what I'm looking for, but in a more NTP way. Anyway, I'm happy you found this, and it's good to know that it's possible.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  10. #10
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7W6 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    4,797

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post

    esxp bf- probably estp but was so damn feely towards me and dramatic and obsessive...so idk- we got along well...mostly...but i have no idea now why i was ever with this guy- worst period of my life ever.


    istj husband- we actually got along really really well as friends...had issues with his negativity and controlling nature but when we weren't trying to be a "team" we were great...in a living completely separate lives together and don't try and tell me what to do ever and well be fine sort of way....but socially...we had so much fun together. he was super sweet when he wanted to be...but such an ass also...like to the core.


    Wow, well those are pretty spot on for my past relationships for those types too. Couple of details are different but the style and difficulties are scarily similar. The ESTP though, biggest con artist i ever met, made me feel like the most important, amazing person in the world...when he felt like it, the rest of the time (the majority of it) i felt awful...rollercoaster collision course.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

Similar Threads

  1. Typealyzer types your blog
    By Usehername in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 174
    Last Post: 01-01-2010, 10:21 PM
  2. Type your favorite retail stores!
    By proteanmix in forum Popular Culture and Type
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 12-02-2008, 04:34 PM
  3. Type your employer!
    By arcticangel02 in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 07-24-2008, 12:01 PM
  4. Is it easier to type your own?
    By Mort Belfry in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 01-22-2008, 05:37 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO