If the idea of typing an "ex" makes you think that there's some kind of negative connotation to their differences, you're thinking about it differently than I am. The people I've been in long intimate relationships with are some of the people I have known best. In efforts to better understand functions, especially those different from one's strongest, and how they influence thoughts and behaviors, I think they're excellent people to consider. I don't feel separate from other types in any other way, and those who use beliefs or theories to colonize and criticize are the abusing and manipulating them.
You hem me in -- behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Some of the more significant relationships I've been in:
ESFx: First romance, four months of wild insanity while I was in high school -- my first real kissing, to the point of nausea. Definitely a case of "opposites attract," and it burned bright at both ends. Within a month or two we were in love and were going to be married. Within four months, I couldn't stand the person anymore and after countless verbal tirades of jealousy on my partner's side of things, I just ended it. Ironically, we found each other 20 years later and are friends again. Definitely all about the passion and intensity and physical groping. Great first romantic experience; horrible breakup, though, and I was really a jerk about it. I regret how I approached it.
INFJ: One month of dating, four years of mixed signals. I don't know why I was so gone on this person. We were living a fair distance apart too -- the mixed signals left things to drag out for years and years. Looking back on it now, I realize I never really knew anything deeply intimate about this person, all personal info was very protected not only from me but from other friends. I was more in love with the mysterious depths that I never really did get to explore, it was an attraction that was going nowhere.
ISFJ: Twenty-one year marriage as of this Thursday, separated at year 15, in the final stages of divorce. Amicable. Raised three kids together. We both worked hard, the relationship was very difficult at times. We were both changed by it and learned something. Any respect I have for duty, family, perseverence, and tradition as a way to create stability and bonds among people came from this relationship. It's over and it's better that way, but I still miss it on some level.
INFP: Probably the most "romantic" relationship I've been in, as romantic as the ESF relationship was all about carnal exploration. My guy was a sweetie, and we played well together / enjoyed spending time together, but had some difficulties in communication and voicing our needs, especially along the T/F divide; he couldn't voice what he wanted and was more idealistic, I didn't engage enough and was more realistic. When I broke things off, I lost the friendship because he couldn't handle being around me and still wanting to be together. Another painful loss.
Originally Posted by msg_v2
Do I need to post another picture of Danny Devito?
You can never have too many pictures up of Danny Devito.
I just wish he'd work on those six-pack abs a bit, though.
"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"
“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
I dated an ESFP a few years ago... It was disastrous. We were good as friends. I liked that he wasn't at all apprehensive about talking about things however uncomfortable or not, but he traveled a lot, and was a very go-with-the-flow, spontaneous/whatever kind of person, and I was interested in a more deep and meaningful relationship. He just wanted to have fun and know that I'd be there when he got back (even if he never called). I wasn't very okay with that. He also couldn't plan to save his life, so trying to figure out when he would be in town/when we could hang out or go on a date in sent me, a J, into a whirlwind of frustrated anxiety. But, lesson learned. :P