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  1. #11
    WALMART
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    ESTJ fuck buddy (off and on between all of my relationships, since I was young)

    INTP girlfriend.

    INFP girlfriend.

    ISFJ girlfriend.

    INFJ/ENFP? (most recent) girlfriend.

    I don't know who I've felt the most compatible with, or personally satisfied. They all have their little nuances I can reflect on and enjoy. Can I have them all?

  2. #12
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Wow, well those are pretty spot on for my past relationships for those types too. Couple of details are different but the style and difficulties are scarily similar. The ESTP though, biggest con artist i ever met, made me feel like the most important, amazing person in the world...when he felt like it, the rest of the time (the majority of it) i felt awful...rollercoaster collision course.
    Oh yeah no that's accurate for me too. I actually moved to get away from him and he came and got me. He was insane.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #13
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Something I like about you, nicolita, is that you're always posting honest and introspection-inciting threads. Good for you!

    PS: Your ESTJ ex sounds just like my brother, haha.
    Thanks, Honor. You always reply with such genuine and thoughtful responses.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  4. #14
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    INTP: We had a five year age gap and when people ask what went wrong I usually say he was to old for me, but really? Sure, he was really nice and he helped me overcome lots of my fears and insecurities when I was younger, which I'm really thankful for. But he had this great love for deep and serious conversations, which I didn't have, and he wasn't the most sensual person in the world. He was an okay kisser, but nothing else. We wasn't really good at cuddling or stroking or anything. If I had to describe what the sex was like, it was just him poking away. A lot of times he wanted to do it in the car ('that's adventurous!'), but I found it really uncomfortable. Somehow he thought I liked reading books too... I didn't mind in the beginning, but once the endorphins faded, I realized we just didn't have enough in common. We're still friends, though, and he has a new girlfriend who I think is an ESFJ (or an ESFP, but I can't imagine we're the same type).
    I get the feeling this is a lot like what happened with my ESFP. TBH, for a minute I was afraid she found this place somehow, and then I realized too many details didn't match up.

    Honestly, it's good to read the other side of it.

    And to be fair, I think I also assumed she was into books, even though I remembered her telling me she wasn't, now that I think of it. It cuts both ways, I suppose. Anyway, as angry and annoyed as I am with her, I still don't think my ex is a bad person (or the INFP, for that matter), but I do think we are fundamentally incompatible. The ESFP philosophy of life is too different from the INTP take, and the communication styles are too different also.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
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  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    Sounds more like an ISTP, to be honest. What evidence is there for Ne? The punk get-up?
    Well he was definitely a theory guy. He liked talking about concepts and we enjoyed talking about different philosophies and themes in art and stuff. I don't know if that means he was definitely Ne, but that was what I was thinking about when I typed him that way. He liked those kinds of discussions, but a lot of times had ideas that I thought were unsound or improbable. I'd put my counterpoint forward in a kind way, and he would get offended pretty easily. I don't know if he was trying to think in a way that didn't come naturally to him and becoming defensive when questioned or not.

    I did read ISTP, and felt there were some similarities there as well. There was a brief section for each on their style as lovers, and honestly he fit the ISTP description more. It's hard because I feel like he was young and living a very in the moment life the whole time I was with him. Maybe he's different now.

    I'm trying to work on typing people, so I really appreciate you asking this question. Any big questions you think I should ask myself to really decide between the two? Or does one seem clear?
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Also, side note: both of these men were wonderful people with a great capacity for love, intimacy, and conversation. Both are hilariously funny and genuinely good. I feel like my observations on this thread might not have conveyed that message, and it's not intentional. I'm just trying to look at personality objectively in order to get a better read. I don't want it to sound like I'm slamming anyone!
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  7. #17
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Well he was definitely a theory guy. He liked talking about concepts and we enjoyed talking about different philosophies and themes in art and stuff. I don't know if that means he was definitely Ne, but that was what I was thinking about when I typed him that way. He liked those kinds of discussions, but a lot of times had ideas that I thought were unsound or improbable. I'd put my counterpoint forward in a kind way, and he would get offended pretty easily. I don't know if he was trying to think in a way that didn't come naturally to him and becoming defensive when questioned or not.

    I did read ISTP, and felt there were some similarities there as well. There was a brief section for each on their style as lovers, and honestly he fit the ISTP description more. It's hard because I feel like he was young and living a very in the moment life the whole time I was with him. Maybe he's different now.

    I'm trying to work on typing people, so I really appreciate you asking this question. Any big questions you think I should ask myself to really decide between the two? Or does one seem clear?
    Did he seem absent-minded? Was he pointing out a lot of random observations about things in the distance? Or was he "focused"? I think Se appears more focused and less dreamy than Ne. I think if a Se user is talking to you, he'll probably be more likely to keep his attention more focused on you. The INTP might notice some random thing going on in the background and comment on it.

    Se is "local", which probably helps a lot with music. Ne is "global" and a little ADHD (i'm actually diagnosed). INTP musicians exist, but are much rarer than ISTP musicians.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  8. #18
    Stansmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    Well he was definitely a theory guy. He liked talking about concepts and we enjoyed talking about different philosophies and themes in art and stuff. I don't know if that means he was definitely Ne, but that was what I was thinking about when I typed him that way. He liked those kinds of discussions, but a lot of times had ideas that I thought were unsound or improbable. I'd put my counterpoint forward in a kind way, and he would get offended pretty easily. I don't know if he was trying to think in a way that didn't come naturally to him and becoming defensive when questioned or not.

    I did read ISTP, and felt there were some similarities there as well. There was a brief section for each on their style as lovers, and honestly he fit the ISTP description more. It's hard because I feel like he was young and living a very in the moment life the whole time I was with him. Maybe he's different now.

    I'm trying to work on typing people, so I really appreciate you asking this question. Any big questions you think I should ask myself to really decide between the two? Or does one seem clear?
    Sounds like tertiary Ni, so ISTP is probably right. I get the vibe that he uses intuition alot, but it isn't his forte.

  9. #19
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    He was definitely more focused than me. That's a cool way to think about it, because we actually worked together that way. He could stay focused on an idea or theme, and I took that and made all of those big-picture, ADD observations to fill it out or take it in different directions. Or he'd have a really nice chord progression or musical line, and I'd suggest some little tweak I "heard" to make it less predictable. The inferior Ni theory makes sense, too.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  10. #20
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Most of my relationships weren't technically romantic, but I'm going to describe them anyway, because I think they are no less important or valid.

    First guy: ENFP, although I'm not sure about this.
    No chemistry, very awkward all around, bad communication. He wanted to be more emotionally involved and committed than I did, and was not as interested in sex. We would mostly drive around listening to music, play pool in bars, watch scary movies at night (even though I didn't really want to), and he would tell ghost stories (which was entertaining). He was a kind of boring person. I wanted someone who shared my interests and activities.

    ...a few hookups with guys whose types I don't know...

    ENTJ ex boyfriend
    Really great all around. We were both very honest people, both with ourselves and others, and appreciated that in each other. He said he liked my rationality, common sense, and lack of drama. I liked that he was motivated and not afraid of risk taking. He helped me be more confident in Te areas. We had a lot of shared interests; we did all sorts of outdoor activities together, and would discuss our opinions on life. Good mental connection, good physical connection, good cooperation, good communication. We had an open relationship for about 8 months, with no major issues. We're still friends. We had to end it because he moved for a better job, and we knew it wouldn't last forever because he doesn't want kids. We didn't actually have any problems to speak of.

    couple with whom I am friends with benefits: ESTJ girl and ISTP guy
    We have a lot of shared interests and a good intellectual rapport. We haven't had any major issues either. I have been helpful to them in being a little more open with each other, and facilitating communication. They always make me feel good about myself, and help me in little ways related to Sp. She has helped me with etiquette and protocol and such. As with the ENTJ, I appreciate that they are not easily offended and will be honest with me and give me constructive criticism when I ask for it.

    ISFP friend with benefits (now just a friend)
    He is a quite stereotypical ISFP. He's not as intellectual as I am, but we have good conversation anyway. He's fun and spontaneous. We're great as friends, but wouldn't really work romantically. We're both artists and like nature. He's way more emotional and moody than I am, and he can be passive aggressive; but I think it's endearing, and it doesn't bother me because I always know what's going on with him for some reason. His inner world doesn't make any sort of logical sense, but it has its own rules which are pretty simple. He accused me a few times of being unemotional. We ended the sexual involvement when he got emotionally attached and I started becoming attached to the INTJ.

    INTJ ex lover
    Some perfect things and some terrible things. We had a fantastic intellectual and sexual connection, and we are both pagan so have a similar outlook and understanding of the universe, and connection to nature. We had a lot of shared interests. I liked that he was hard-working and responsible. We had bad communication though, and he wasn't as spontaneous as I am. I thought he was too serious and uptight, and sometimes he came across as bossy. I also thought he was arrogant and generally annoying, and didn't like the fact that he would try to pick apart my thoughts without explaining himself. I think he thought I lacked confidence and was indecisive. I suspect he's a manipulative lying bastard, but I have no direct proof- just strong evidence.

    ISFP current uncategorized lover
    He's a lot like the other ISFP, but not as overtly Fi, and probably stronger Ni. When I'm with each of them I really feel like I can live in the moment. He's fun, entertaining, and open to spontaneous adventures. Great physical connection as well. We'll see what happens.

    Edit: I think all the people I have listed could be described as affectionate and cuddly, and I like that.

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