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  1. #31
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    And it's the reason why I have so many introvert friends: They decide when they need alone time, and I use that as an opportunity to have me time/time to do whatever I want, without external obligation [...] Edit: I'm horrible at estimating this sort of thing; usually either the "me time" shows up naturally by virtue of all my introvert friends [...] I'm sp-last, I have no idea what I need.
    Yes! Having introverts in one's close circles is great for this!!

  2. #32
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Probably every few days I need a little time, maybe half an hour or so at least, to myself. There are certain people - my mom, dad, brother, boyfriend - that don't make me feel like I need to recharge at all. Most other interaction I do need time away from, if only to recenter myself. For me it's less about being around unpleasant people and more about needing some time to be able to prioritize my needs, because I'm generally inclined to prioritize others' needs first (it usually takes less energy for me to help someone else than to do my own thing). Like others have mentioned, I like to be around people even when I'm having my down time. Right now my boyfriend is across the room playing video games and that works fine for me.

    The only time I really like to be totally alone is in the early morning, which I've always considered sort of a sacred quiet time, and I tend to get irritated with anyone breaking my early morning peace! I also like to experience nature alone - quasi-spiritual natural experiences like the Northern Lights, sunrise or set, meteor showers, snow at midnight, etc. Someone else can be along with me only if they are quiet and reverent of it, too.

    As for high-stress interaction where I have to be really "on" - around high-status people, or new people in a context where there is no set structure for interaction - I can do a few hours happily or a couple of days at most but then I want a big chunk of down time. At work where there is a set structure for what my role is and their role is then it's generally easy and pleasing, though I still am eager to come home to my comfortable, familiar loved ones at the end of the day.

    Me too. Once I was in a foreign country with a reclusive flatmate and no internet access for two weeks. I ended up walking an hour to downtown every day just to use the internet cafe and interact with cashiers. I felt myself shrivel inside.
    skylights, when I read your posts, they resonate with me so much sometimes that I feel like I'm reading something I might have written. I was once living by myself in a new city, and I would walk an hour downtown just to study at the library so there would be other people around. That was a rough time.

  3. #33
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    I like having a couple of hours to myself usually more or less once a week. This usually happens sunday morning and i take that time to listen to music or find new music etc. It helps me process all the stuff that happened during the week and find my own center.
    Wow, a couple hours a week? Not a whole lot. But I imagine you as very social in real life, so I guess I was right on the money.

  4. #34
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    @skylights Yes. Sacred morning time! I also consider time with my husband or close friends as down time and feel less drained by helping others than taking care of my stuff. I'm pretty new here, and I can't get over how incredibly validating it is to read what some of you write.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  5. #35
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    When I eat, I usually find some place quiet and meditate. I also commute a total of an an hour and a half a day which is usually spent talking to myself. I usually have to remind myself to spend time alone. Usually my weekdays are so busy I end up spending all weekend alone playing minecraft with my parietal lobe and thinking about other things directly. If I don't get some sort of time to sort through all the stuff that happened that week, my brain starts to overheat and I turn into a crazy person.
    Do you literally talk to yourself while you commute? And by that, I assume you mean you drive?

  6. #36
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Most of my time is for myself.

    This year, I've spent 70% of my total waking time totally alone.
    10%, with one other.
    10% in some public place, in transit, not really "with anyone" but practically alone, if physically surrounded by people.
    10% of my time has been spent activly mingling with many people.

    --
    Ok, so not every year I live is filled with remote work. So..
    For a usual year, it's 10% alone,
    60% with others, not focusing on them,
    10% with others, focusing on them,
    10% time thinking it's a social event or something to that effect, mingling with a lot of people
    and 10% spent with just 1 person.

  7. #37
    girl with a pretty smile Honor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    Most of my time is for myself.

    This year, I've spent 70% of my total waking time totally alone.
    10%, with one other.
    10% in some public place, in transit, not really "with anyone" but practically alone, if physically surrounded by people.
    10% of my time has been spent activly mingling with many people.

    --
    Ok, so not every year I live is filled with remote work. So..
    For a usual year, it's 10% alone,
    60% with others, not focusing on them,
    10% with others, focusing on them,
    10% time thinking it's a social event or something to that effect, mingling with a lot of people
    and 10% spent with just 1 person.
    are you ok with this arrangement?

  8. #38
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honor View Post
    Wow, a couple hours a week? Not a whole lot. But I imagine you as very social in real life, so I guess I was right on the money.
    actually not really...most of my not-alone time is 1 on 1 (with different people)

  9. #39
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    @Honor
    a lot.
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  10. #40
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkgraffiti View Post
    actually not really...most of my not-alone time is 1 on 1 (with different people)
    Yeah me too... I prefer it that way but I could totally live in some sort of hippie commune or some other alternative type living environment with say 15-30 houses with their own lil families or groups living in them and we all get together for meals or to sit and chat around a bonfire.
    I love the idea of having a lot of close friends around and sharing a living space with them... Not all in the same house but same lil community or something.

    I used to live on this cool street right by this fun strip that a bunch of my friends and I used to like to hang out and we had about 6 houses of friends on the street and we'd play ping ping outside or sit by a fire pit and have wine and just go between houses all the time. It was awesome.

    I think I've been missing that ever since.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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