User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 21

  1. #1
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    girl
    Posts
    89

    Default THE INTJ STARE. love it or leave it?

    They don't all do it, but it seems that most do. INTJ's and ... staring. I've also read its commonly found in the sp/sx stacking, too.

    So, for amusement's sake, I'm calling out to all of you who have a memory of an INTJ staring at you.

    Did you like it? Or not so much?

    I know other people stare, too, but lets face it -- its totally an INTJ thing. No?


    As for me, I pretty much love it. There is this one person who does it a lot recently; details shall be withheld. I'm perfectly happily married, and he knows my spouse and kids, but I think through conversations I have with him I have sparked his interest and I catch him jumping and turning after --staring--. Its nice that someone is curious enough about you to bother staring. I highly doubt he would ever be so low as to entertain much in the way of thoughts of infedelity, its seems to be curiousity or interest of some nature. He also does the ~ pretend not to listen or notice or ... whatnot thing. He is likely a 5, too, I'd guess. It's funny. There have been 3 times he has done it, just been staring like a serial killer lost in thought, eyes intensely fixated. I wouldn't dare get so lost in staring at a person, I just glance. just glllllance! I doubt he would break eye contact at all - except that its weird. because I'm married. duh.

    There was another INTJ who did it SO MUCH. I mean standing 2 feet from you - just staringgggg. I was a teenager, and in love with him, and insecure... so... that was too much for me. ... yeah. too much.

    My INTJ girlfriend doesn't really stare. so... I dunno.

    Thoughts on the topic? Please share. Theres no real objective here ... its just a subject that tickles me. makes me chuckle. Also - do tell if YOU are an INTJ and you know you have a staring problem! hah! Whats going on inside of you. What could be so interesting that you want to stare?
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    Enfp
    Enneagram
    497 sx/so
    Socionics
    IEE Fi
    Posts
    14,660

    Default

    Im a fan. Ive come to consider it a challenge over the years. Either they are mighty intrigued, mighty annoyed or wanna deliberately push you away. Whatever the case, it's like throwing down a gauntlet imho, so lets play

    I remember that mine back in the day the first time he met me wouldn't stop staring. When I asked him about it, he just said he was enjoying the view. He rarely does it with anyone though...just people who intrigue him, and I see him deliberately scowling when people are invading his personal space

    And yeah, they don't seem to get that it is considered rude, and if they do, they seriously don't care. I kind of find it refreshing coz it means I don't have to be Ms. Manners either around them
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    The immediate memory that comes to mind is my INTJ cousin... I'm about 10 years older than him. I used to babysit him when he was a small child & I was a teenager. He apparently had a massive crush on me as a kid (did not understand what being related meant yet; got angry when he discovered what it meant). He used to put my photo on his school binder & he asked his mom if I was a model (awwww!).

    In this story, he is about 7 or so and I'm about 17.

    So I'm staying at my aunt's house and I take a shower one morning.... I start to get this feeling that someone is there. I turn around....and there is my little INTJ cousin standing in the doorway of the bathroom just STARING unabashedly, watching me shower. I'm like, "What are you doing, child?!" and he just STARES, hardly even blinks, no expression, not the slightest sense of inappropriateness or shame. So I say, "Shut the door!". Then he just casually pulls the door shut.

    You know those horror/suspense movies with the "creepy kid"? People in the movie are doing something, then they turn around and find the kid has been staring at them quietly for who knows how long. Then they talk to the kid & the kid just keeps STARING. And the person starts to get all panicky as DOOM is being projected out from the child's eyes. Occasionally the kid utters something innocent yet cryptic enough to give you the heebie jeebies... That's a Ni-dom kid.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #4
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,759

    Default

    My ENTJ ex always stared.. I'd stop midsentence and be like . . . WHAT, DAMMIT?!

    I'm actually pretty bad with holding eye contact in general (unless I'm trying to assert something important). Staring triggers a lot of self consciousness/nervousness, so I found myself staring at my shoes often when my ex stared at me.
    At one point, he wrote "it's" & "ok" on two strips of tape & put them on each toe of my sneakers.
    I hadn't noticed til I actually looked down during one of those staring moments. He seemed very proud of himself.

    An ENTJ female friend of mine liked to pick on me if I trailed off because I felt awkward for talking for so long, shifted uncomfortably as her gaze tended to be rather static. She'd say, "quick! everyone stare at Lex!" since she knew I hated it.



    INTJs are even worse with the staring intensity, in my experience. I mean, the ones I've known have been good friends, etc, so it's all right (I can appreciate the intensity, even w/my neuroticism), but they pick up on that right away, & point it out to me, amused. Make fun of me about it. Then continue to stare. Rinse repeat.

    Asses.

    I'm not complaining, really. I must be somewhat of a masochist
    Last edited by Lexicon; 07-31-2013 at 08:17 AM.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  5. #5
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    girl
    Posts
    89

    Default

    oh my gosh. that is hilarious. i can just see it. great share! O.O
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  6. #6
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    girl
    Posts
    89

    Default

    the shoe thing is great. ha!
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  7. #7
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    girl
    Posts
    89

    Default

    "mighty intrigued". yes. its nice to be found intriguing

    and, seriously, if someone is going to stare ~ you know you can relax and tease them about it. so funny. ... come to think of it, I think I asked the guy (from my teen yrs) "...what?!" before too. he didn't care. but, really, I think I've become that person who doesn't care, too. not that I use staring as my outlet; I usually just say something completely unabashedly and shrug. social codes be damned, at least for a bit.
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  8. #8
    Riva
    Guest

    Default

    Intjs usually don't make eye contact from what i've noticed. Staring and making eye contact are two different things. They do stare though. Ntjs are impatient conversationalist. So they'd probably stare until you reply. Staring at a hot chick taking a shower is a part of the male gene and not type related :p.

  9. #9
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    3,466

    Default

    Interesting thread. I would say I have 3 thoughts on this, and they all kind of stem from...a feeling of separation from the real world so it's generally more common in more extroverted settings (ime).

    1. Very often people think I'm staring at them when I'm actually just staring into space in their general direction. I may even be looking directly at them and just didn't notice they were there or they walked directly into my line of sight when I was staring into space and they stopped there. That's led to all kind of interesting situations.

    2. I didn't actually notice that I did this until I saw it in other INTJs, but we seem to actually move our bodies significantly less than other people unless we're actively engaged in something. I think it's actually partially what makes us appear more stable/in control. It's not uncommon to see an INTJ adopt a pose and stay exactly like that for awhile without fidgeting or anything and I think that just extends to the way we look around and look at things.

    3.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    And yeah, they don't seem to get that it is considered rude, and if they do, they seriously don't care.
    I'm familiar with this and I'd say that's correct. If I'm looking at someone because I like looking at them then I wouldn't consider that rude. It's flattering .


    The thing that gets me about the OP is that you mention breaking eye contact in the staring piece. I wouldn't consider it the same thing. There's a difference between actually holding eye contact and staring at someone in the ways that I've mentioned above. The only way I could see them being confused would be if there was a fair bit of distance between the two people. If I'm holding eye contact with someone it's intentional. I notice you're an INFJ, though. Like ENFPs and INTJs, I've noticed that INFJs and INTJs can have some intense eye contact. The thing about eye contact like that is that it's like having your own intimate conversation in a room full of people and that's a powerful thing. Just keep in mind that it's not the same thing as general INTJ staring.

    Also, I would never have long eye contact/staring with someone that I knew was in a relationship if I had any respect for the guy, especially if he were there.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  10. #10
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    MBTI
    iNfj
    Enneagram
    9w8 sx/sp
    Socionics
    girl
    Posts
    89

    Default

    I recall a lot of INTJ eye contact. from intimates and friends, anyway. maybe at least a couple of aquantances.
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

Similar Threads

  1. The Notebook: Love it or Hate it?
    By Amethyst in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 09-06-2014, 10:05 PM
  2. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-16-2011, 09:16 AM
  3. [NF] The need of telling your NF that you love it.. :D
    By entropie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 09-17-2009, 11:49 PM
  4. Your College - Love It or ???
    By Jae Rae in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 11-26-2008, 04:58 PM
  5. To understand the object of study is to leave it
    By wildcat in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 11-23-2007, 03:18 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO