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  1. #11
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    Intjs usually don't make eye contact from what i've noticed. Staring and making eye contact are two different things. They do stare though. Ntjs are impatient conversationalist. So they'd probably stare until you reply. Staring at a hot chick taking a shower is a part of the male gene and not type related :p.
    Good point. When I make eye contact with someone, it's generally for a reason, especially with guys. When I make eye contact with a guy it's also generally for opposite reasons than with a girl.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

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    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  2. #12
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Interesting thread. I would say I have 3 thoughts on this, and they all kind of stem from...a feeling of separation from the real world so it's generally more common in more extroverted settings (ime).

    1. Very often people think I'm staring at them when I'm actually just staring into space in their general direction. I may even be looking directly at them and just didn't notice they were there or they walked directly into my line of sight when I was staring into space and they stopped there. That's led to all kind of interesting situations.

    2. I didn't actually notice that I did this until I saw it in other INTJs, but we seem to actually move our bodies significantly less than other people unless we're actively engaged in something. I think it's actually partially what makes us appear more stable/in control. It's not uncommon to see an INTJ adopt a pose and stay exactly like that for awhile without fidgeting or anything and I think that just extends to the way we look around and look at things.

    3.

    I'm familiar with this and I'd say that's correct. If I'm looking at someone because I like looking at them then I wouldn't consider that rude. It's flattering .


    The thing that gets me about the OP is that you mention breaking eye contact in the staring piece. I wouldn't consider it the same thing. There's a difference between actually holding eye contact and staring at someone in the ways that I've mentioned above. The only way I could see them being confused would be if there was a fair bit of distance between the two people. If I'm holding eye contact with someone it's intentional. I notice you're an INFJ, though. Like ENFPs and INTJs, I've noticed that INFJs and INTJs can have some intense eye contact. The thing about eye contact like that is that it's like having your own intimate conversation in a room full of people and that's a powerful thing. Just keep in mind that it's not the same thing as general INTJ staring.

    Also, I would never have long eye contact/staring with someone that I knew was in a relationship if I had any respect for the guy, especially if he were there.
    1. not sure I have experienced this personally; thinking an INTJ was staring but then he wasn't. seems like a human thing though.

    2. they do seem to be statuesque.

    3. It is flattering. very. But, ... its also not a social norm, so rude by default? Unless a person in secure & savvy enough to appreciate the attention?

    Also, good point -- staring vs. eye contact. Usually, in my experience, you look over and notice them staring... and then if the staring continues it becomes an intense eye contact. But even if the staring doesn't continue, and there is no significant eye contact, a lot of times the Starer is so 'lost in stare' that it takes just a moment for them to look away. a split second moment. I was not suggesting the man and I have eye contact, ... other than perhaps the akward split-second variety; which is to say the person was caught and didn't really want to be discovered. It is true, though, that if there was eye contact it would be like a private conversation - great analogy. and very powerful, I think. ... usually in my above story what happens is he almosts jumps and turns at the same time as though he was jabbed with a firey poker.
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  3. #13
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    Intjs usually don't make eye contact from what i've noticed. Staring and making eye contact are two different things. They do stare though. Ntjs are impatient conversationalist. So they'd probably stare until you reply. Staring at a hot chick taking a shower is a part of the male gene and not type related :p.
    I think that is probably mostly the case with Ps, in particular Ne-doms, since we often throw out what they consider nonsense and don't get to the point. Either they already know what point you re trying to make (cursed Ni) and want you to get there already, or they cannot see it and can't understand why you re going about getting there in a circular way instead of in a straight line, which pisses off their Ni even more coz they actually dont know where you re going to end up

    The eye-rolling and rubbing of temples is often what you expect to happen when the stare doesn't seem to speed the subject up, for the record.

    Oh and NTJs, for the record, staring, glaring and scowling does NOT speed up our thought process or make it magically linear. In fact, it does the opposite. It stops it in its tracks and makes us stammer instead OR makes us go on a bigger detour figuring you need more info to get what we re saying OR we catch on to what you re doing and make you wait for the point even longer just out of spite
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  4. #14
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    I love it when they stare, I stare back and turn it into a competition. If it's turning into a draw I start taking off my clothes...usually frightens them and I win!
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  5. #15
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    My experience with the INTJ stare is that he stares when he's thinking. He kind of goes up into his internal world of thought and puts the stare up like a Gone Fishin' sign. Sometimes I think I have messed up hair or something if he happens to be looking toward that direction, and sometimes it happens mid-conversation with no warning and I can grow a little impatient waiting for responsiveness and for the conversation to resume. He makes great eye contact, and I can only think of one INTJ that doesn't really. Ahh the mysterious INTJ. What is going on up there?
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #16
    Yup
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    yea, the weird stare and the odd compliments. example? "you`re useful" what kind of compliment is that?
    "I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "
    -Bruce Lee

  7. #17
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gasoline View Post
    yea, the weird stare and the odd compliments. example? "you`re useful" what kind of compliment is that?
    A Te-one

    They tend to first check out what kind of resource you could be, if you qualify as their 'pawn'.

    It's funnier to make them appreciate you for being completely useless on something though. Confuses the hell out of em
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  8. #18
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Also, when he does resume the conversation, it's often after a long break, during which I've mentally gone in a thousand directions. Then he'll just say something and I'll have no idea what he's talking about. He just assumes since he's been thinking of the same thing the whole time that I know exactly what he's talking about. Sometimes he will have discussed other things with me in the interim.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  9. #19
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    I love it when they stare, I stare back and turn it into a competition. If it's turning into a draw I start taking off my clothes...usually frightens them and I win!
    hahaha

    i love u
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

  10. #20
    Member justwannabeMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicolita View Post
    My experience with the INTJ stare is that he stares when he's thinking. He kind of goes up into his internal world of thought and puts the stare up like a Gone Fishin' sign. Sometimes I think I have messed up hair or something if he happens to be looking toward that direction, and sometimes it happens mid-conversation with no warning and I can grow a little impatient waiting for responsiveness and for the conversation to resume. He makes great eye contact, and I can only think of one INTJ that doesn't really. Ahh the mysterious INTJ. What is going on up there?

    awh mann... husband says that same thing about me. and since I have realized I do do it. Ni-daze (but I'm INFJ).

    the one I'm talking about is more (like I'd said) a serial-killer-type-knowing-stare. very engaged. caluclating. keen observation.
    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

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