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  1. #11
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    In some situations, too much of one, if hiding things counts as a facade.

    In others, not enough.

    I suppose a facade is porportional to how nervous I am about the situation. The thing is, the facade is obvious, so it just betrays how nervous I am. A better disguise of my nervousness would be not having a facade and not acting any differently in the situation. The thing about nervousness is that many people tend to assume there's a good reason for it, so it's a good thing to hide.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

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  2. #12
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Do I craft one? No. Is there a secretary and a spooky man behind the curtain, pulling strings?
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #13
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    'Craft' implies deliberateness. I wouldn't say I do it deliberately, but I reflexively show off parts of my personality in certain settings and other parts of my personality in other settings.
    Same here, but instead of showing off parts of myself based on the setting, I hide parts. What people see is therefore the "real me", just nowhere near all of it.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #14
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Same here, but instead of showing off parts of myself based on the setting, I hide parts. What people see is therefore the "real me", just nowhere near all of it.
    No one else finds this to be a deliberate crafting of a facade but me?

    It's literally a half truth.. my dad always told me half truths were still lies. Yeah, even with people I feel I am close to.. I will deliberately shape myself in order to maintain that relationship. So even though I'm really blunt, honest, and easy to anger.. my mother never ever receives any of that. It's completely deliberate. I *want* to be angry, but I create a persona that is not ever angry at her because she's a delicate personality that wilts easily and I don't feel like dealing with all of that. It's much easier for me to hold my anger in. The motivations behind it are genuine enough--that's a part of me--but the facade is still there.

    When I think of stuff like this.. and maybe this is really off.. but I think of it like modern day guys watching Spartacus. People having sex in the streets, half naked, cussing everywhere, fighting all the time, everything's in the moment and unfiltered. And modern day guys are like "Omg awesome stuff!" And even crave that 'awesome' a little. But then they go back to their normal way of things.

    That's sort of how I feel. The only time I'm not fooling anyone is when I am in prayer and when I am asleep. Even though it is aspects of me, nothing is 100% genuine to me because I'm not always stating what's on my mind. I'm not a completely open book. I adapt to situations to suit my needs--even if that means acting like someone I'm not. So, yes, while I'm a very happy person.. I will not be so happy and hyper at work because it's really counter productive to what I need from my work. It's a facade to be so mean all of the time.

    I just don't find that to be a bad thing. It's a normal part of life. You give and take aspects of yourself to suit the situation and people around you. Sometimes you meet awesome people where you hardly have to curb your impulses at all--or don't even notice the ones you do. Sometimes you have to do it a lot for the sake of those awesome people. Whatever it is, it's normal societal interactions. I find it all to be a big facade. It's why it takes years to really get to know people. Nothing except constant exposure over time gets through all of those social graces and layers of adaptation.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  5. #15
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Craft? No. I think it is more like other people tend to craft personalities of mine.

    Facade? I wouldn't really call it a facade. It is just a different side of me I am willing to show you.

  6. #16
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    No one else finds this to be a deliberate crafting of a facade but me?

    It's literally a half truth.. my dad always told me half truths were still lies. Yeah, even with people I feel I am close to.. I will deliberately shape myself in order to maintain that relationship. So even though I'm really blunt, honest, and easy to anger.. my mother never ever receives any of that. It's completely deliberate. I *want* to be angry, but I create a persona that is not ever angry at her because she's a delicate personality that wilts easily and I don't feel like dealing with all of that. It's much easier for me to hold my anger in. The motivations behind it are genuine enough--that's a part of me--but the facade is still there.
    To me, a facade implies overlaying something artificial upon the "real" thing underneath. It is thus applied on top vs. subtracted from below. By your reasoning, everyone is either a completely open book, or a liar, and privacy, even modesty, are faults. Needless to say, I also disagree with your father's characterization of half-truths.

    My limiting what is presented to others is deliberate in the sense that I understand how these reflexes operate, and generally choose to allow them to continue. I suspect most people do this. I doubt many of us behave the same at work as at home, or with our friends as with our parents. Your holding back your anger while around your mother reflects the part of you that values your relationship, and preserving harmony in your interactions. These values and the actions they motivate are as much a part of you as your blunt honesty and anger. I would not call that a facade, but rather the side of you that you show around her. Another variation of using the right tools for the job.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #17
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Nah. I think of my personality more like a rubik's cube in terms of how I can display certain elements/shades/dimensions, by making minor adjustments [in a given situation, etc]. It's still all me. No deception, artificiality. I just only turn out what I want, when I want. I figure it's adaptive behavior- element of the innate fluidity within the human condition.
    I like this answer.

    I'm a chameleon. But I try my best to appear glamorous and intelligent. Whether or not it works I don't know, but I figure it's always worth a try.

  8. #18
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    No one can ever be fully open about their deepest thoughts and feelings, at least not with most people.

    I don't actively go out of my way to craft a persona, in fact I'm not really sure I have one, otherwise I'd be cooler. However I will say I am differing levels of open with different people.

    But interestingly, I tend to find it is on an individual level as I am a different person with different people. When I was younger this bothered me as I became obsessed with individuality and appearing the same in every interaction.

    I then learned I was being naive and my nature stopped me from achieving this. I grew to be somewhat ok with it and now I realise it was probably part of being extravert and responsive to outward circumstances.
    Last edited by Cellmold; 07-14-2013 at 10:29 AM.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

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    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  9. #19
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Yes. It started as a running joke that just..sort of snowballed. Parts are really me, parts are exaggerated for the joke's purposes and parts are things I strive to actually become. I look at it as a performance on stage where the artist is really themselves, but all dolled up with all the trimmings going all out. I don't always use the facade though, as being on stage does require some energy. But it is fun on occasion
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  10. #20
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    To me, a facade implies overlaying something artificial upon the "real" thing underneath. It is thus applied on top vs. subtracted from below. By your reasoning, everyone is either a completely open book, or a liar, and privacy, even modesty, are faults.
    If that's not really you it is a facade, isn't it? Privacy is a trait--being a private person is not the same as actively hiding aspects of yourself. I don't like people looking at my computer, or phone pictures, even though there is nothing embarrassing in them.. it's a trait of mine, consistent no matter who I come across. It isn't the same as making my religion private. The fact that I'm hiding that I'm not Christian in a conservative state from those that don't know me well for the sake of things. I'll use "Jesus" "God" "angels" and "prayer" in conversation because I technically believe that stuff, but it's a facade to what I really believe. A half-truth, I'm purposefully leading people to believe I am Christian when I am not out of my own convenience.

    And that's why half-truths are lies. I just read an article yesterday that "They're using VIRUSES to treat our food!" But it's an alarmist half truth. No one mentions in the article how bacteriophages are already in our food, or about how they only infect bacteria, etc. Half-truths make people put in assumed information, which turns it into a lie.. it's why they're so convenient. You can just say "No, you assumed I was Christian because I talked about praying." But you don't tell half-truths without having an idea of what the other person will fill the other half with. You're shaping that reality to be different.

    My limiting what is presented to others is deliberate in the sense that I understand how these reflexes operate, and generally choose to allow them to continue. I suspect most people do this.
    We agree here.. I just feel that that's being 'fake' and actively manipulating a scene, which is normal and thus okay to do, versus you who feels that this is an integral part of one's self. I separate the social stage from the personal one. You do not. The part of you that chooses to have a social stage is still 'a part of your personality' to you. Just a difference in philosophy.

    I doubt many of us behave the same at work as at home, or with our friends as with our parents. Your holding back your anger while around your mother reflects the part of you that values your relationship, and preserving harmony in your interactions. These values and the actions they motivate are as much a part of you as your blunt honesty and anger. I would not call that a facade, but rather the side of you that you show around her. Another variation of using the right tools for the job.
    I'd argue that most of people's personalities are fairly faked throughout each day in the work environment. Some jobs give you the grace of acting like one's self, in which case I'd say they're probably a LOT less socially fake.. but many require a complete change in persona to suit the environment, mine included in that.

    Yeah, I have morals and all of that.. but if I don't draw a line somewhere, than I would have to say I am NEVER fake and actively manipulating myself to suit the situation. And that is not true at all. I don't feel like 'myself' when I am being mean and angry to my subordinates, despite having the emotions of anger and the potential to be mean within myself. I'm not REALLY happy to see those ice-cream customers at my old job, despite being a happy person. Those emotions, anger and happiness, are core to my personality. And actively manipulated to suit situations within and outside of my own. To me, that's a facade. If it isn't to you.. well.. then you have a more optimistic outlook at this than I do.
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
    Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.

    Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
    prplchknz: i don't like it

    In Search Of... ... Kiwi Sketch Art ... Dream Journal ... Kyuuei's Cook book ... Kyu's Tiny House Blog ... Minimalist Challenge ... Kyu's Savings Challenge

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