Do you choose to live in two or more clearly distinguishable styles of behavior, thinking AND emotions that are consistent within each "mode", and different with each other?
First off, I describe type not as a box but a house with 16 rooms. My own type (INFJ) is my favorite room, the one with the window seat where I read and gaze at the back yard while drinking coffee. I go to other rooms with different ease. INTJ, the other dominant intuitive type, is kind of the kitchen--I love to cook. ESTP, my opposite, is probably the laundry room but I've been doing laundry for years and don't mess it up much. Maturity is about being able to go to whatever room a situation requires but my favorite is still INFJ.
What modes are they?
I've had to develop an Extraverted mode for any interactions with others (obviously) and it plays out at work and family time more than leisure.What makes you choose which of the modes you'll be in at any one time?
For the facilitation work I do, people wouldn't be very happy if I said, "Okay just read chapter three and I'll get back to you later." I have to interact with the group. Same with parenting. Telling a child, "Mommy's an Introvert and doesn't have the energy to deal with you right now" isn't going to fly.What do you think of your own behavior, given that there are different modes of it?
I will always be working on recognizing when to switch modes. It only makes sense that we draw on different skills and strengths in different situations. It also provides a chance for rest--I spend hours on end in creative activities; something structured like following a recipe can actually be appealing and give me a chance to zone out. Each type has activities like that that shut down the dominant function. Consistency would be a fast track to burnout in my mind.
Do you think it's reasonable for people to adjust to your behavior?
Who needs to adjust depends on who has the biggest need and who's most mature. I often have to adjust to clients; they're paying me! If students aren't understanding something, in my mind it's the teacher who needs to do the adjusting. Etc.Accept it?
Type is all about constructive use of differences. If someone wants my best work I hope they're going to honor that I have to do it in my most natural mode. But then I need to turn around and communicate in their mode, most likely, if they're going to understand my needs and my ideas.Understand it?
Last, why do you choose to live that way?
- It's a lot more interesting than being the same 24/7
- Situations require different ways of being
- Maturity is about understanding the best mode for a situation and when you or someone else's needs trump things