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  1. #11
    Junior Member Castameare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I recently was hitting on an ESFP. I told her she was attractive at one point. She then flipped and went princess on me. She was eating a salad out of a styrofoam bowl, and when she was done, held the bowl up to my face and said, "can you throw this away for me?"

    I looked at her feeling pain from what she said, and responded, "because I'm such a nice fucking guy." I took her tray and threw it out for her and didn't speak to her for a month.

    She started to realize that I had no intention of speaking to her ever again. I door slammed her.
    so did i understand this right
    you complimented her on her looks, then she asked you to throw something away for her, you did it, but it irked you and then you just completely stopped speaking with her for a month? i pick up some 'just because if find you attractive i won't turn into a little bimbo for you' undertone.

    sorry but wouldn't it make more sense to tell her that you are not her housemaid and she has to functional legs so she can go and throw that stuff away by herself, if it irks you that much, instead of saying nothing, stop talking with her for a month and then kinda want an excuse. i mean excuse for what? sorry but if someone would do that with me, i wouldn't even have a clue what's fucking going on and if this person would demand an apology for something minor that happened like a a month ago sorry but NO

    i think you just don't like being shoved into the bimbo - nice - guy corner (like some steoreotypic lad who does everything for a girl bc he finds her attractive) and you assume that she does that with you. but nobody really knows bc you haven't talked with her about it

    and you think this has anything to do with Fi and Fe or Feeling whatsoever?
    you can't be serious

  2. #12
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Yeah but how is an ISFP that fucking oblivious?
    I think when it comes to introverted functions, there's always a degree of self-centeredness involved. Perhaps with Fi it can be more apparent, at times. I'm not trying to say Fi people are self-centered or narcissists, by any means. However, I think you mentioned- Fi can assume the internal state of another person- and I think often they use their own values/emotional reactions/associations to make these assumptions. Sometimes it's wrong, sometimes they may make you realize things about yourself you didn't readily see. Kinda hit or miss. The point is, though, the assumptions they make when relating can be drawn from their own sets of feelings- so, sometimes they'll have blind spots, if that makes sense (I think every type, & function, has its blind spot.. some share the same ones, but simply process/illustrate it differently).
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  3. #13
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castameare View Post
    and you think this has anything to do with Fi and Fe or Feeling whatsoever?
    you can't be serious
    I think Feeling/emotions have everything to do with a scenario like this. Emotional languages- our own, as well that those of others- are messy when it comes to translating/interpreting.

    You actually point out some of that Fe/Fi divide in your post. His assumptions, her assumptions. Ours. His expectations, her expectations. Fi or Fe, it's all emotional dynamics in the end that need to be addressed.. and.. if you read the ongoing thread.. you'd see he agreed that talking with her would be a good idea.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castameare View Post
    so did i understand this right
    you complimented her on her looks, then she asked you to throw something away for her, you did it, but it irked you and then you just completely stopped speaking with her for a month? i pick up some 'just because if find you attractive i won't turn into a little bimbo for you' undertone.

    sorry but wouldn't it make more sense to tell her that you are not her housemaid and she has to functional legs so she can go and throw that stuff away by herself, if it irks you that much, instead of saying nothing, stop talking with her for a month and then kinda want an excuse. i mean excuse for what? sorry but if someone would do that with me, i wouldn't even have a clue what's fucking going on and if this person would demand an apology for something minor that happened like a a month ago sorry but NO

    i think you just don't like being shoved into the bimbo - nice - guy corner (like some steoreotypic lad who does everything for a girl bc he finds her attractive) and you assume that she does that with you. but nobody really knows bc you haven't talked with her about it

    and you think this has anything to do with Fi and Fe or Feeling whatsoever?
    you can't be serious
    Well there was more to it than that. First I glared at her for 3 whole seconds. Then I looked at the plate. Then I cursed and said, "Because I"m such a nice fucking guy." and left.

    I feel like, if anyone has a pair of eyes and a brain they'd know what just happened.

    Also, its not that I'm being shoved into the "nice guy" corner, its that her respect for me completely dropped. I felt disrespected. Perhaps this means the same thing. I'd rather be viewed as her equal and not her servant. Considering we've been joking with each other for the last 4 months, this came completely out of nowhere.

    So is she really that oblivious to me? I find it very difficult, especially for a feeler, to be that oblivious to when they hurt someone's feelings. ESPECIALLY when my feelings are hurt. I have to hide my negative feelings from everyone at all times, because I can singlehandedly lower the emotions of an entire room. I am cursed with having my hand on the emotional volume dial at all times in almost all situations.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Castameare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    You actually point out some of that Fe/Fi divide in your post.
    where?

  6. #16
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castameare View Post
    where?
    I described where. Would you prefer it verbatim?
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  7. #17

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    I don't apologize much, but I might make you a sandwich or something. Maybe.

  8. #18
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    I've known this girl for 5 months then she pulls this crap out of NOWHERE. I wasn't expecting it.

  9. #19
    Junior Member Castameare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Well there was more to it than that. First I glared at her for 3 whole seconds. Then I looked at the plate. Then I cursed and said, "Because I"m such a nice fucking guy." and left.

    I feel like, if anyone has a pair of eyes and a brain they'd know what just happened.

    Also, its not that I'm being shoved into the "nice guy" corner, its that her respect for me completely dropped. I felt disrespected. Perhaps this means the same thing. I'd rather be viewed as her equal and not her servant. Considering we've been joking with each other for the last 4 months, this came completely out of nowhere.
    because she asked you to throw something away for her? or were there other things?
    well in order not to be dragged into any long winded discussion about what people think how Fe Fi whatever played a role in this(if they even have played a role), i will conclude by saying, if you don't like to take this damn bowl than say it and explain if she doesn't get it, if you feel like she doesn't show you any respect talk to her and listen to what she has to say about it
    i think that's better than cutting of contact, shoving this problem into some theoretical MBTI Fi Fe usw. problem area

    and yes i don't think that was Fe Fi whatsoever

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castameare View Post
    because she asked you to throw something away for her? or were there other things?
    well in order not to be dragged into any long winded discussion about what people think how Fe Fi whatever played a role in this(if they even have played a role), i will conclude by saying, if you don't like to take this damn bowl than say it and explain if she doesn't get it, if you feel like she doesn't show you any respect talk to her and listen to what she has to say about it
    i think that's better than cutting of contact, shoving this problem into some theoretical MBTI Fi Fe usw. problem area

    and yes i don't think that was Fe Fi whatsoever
    Its obvious I should have stood up for myself. But I was too dumbfounded to say anything because we've been perfect friends for the last 5 months with no hitches. I didn't post this story so you could lecture me on how to behave in society. Take a moment to comprehend this post with your fucking fantastic "Ni".
    Last edited by Azure Flame; 06-26-2013 at 10:18 AM. Reason: namecalling

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