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  1. #161
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    I don't see the issue.

    @DJ Arendee sounds charming.

    *Holds up bag of phones*

    Wanna go smash?
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  2. #162
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    That sounds fun.


  3. #163
    Glycerine
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    Well, maybe she just didn't take you all that seriously when you complimented her like, "Oh cool thanks........ hmmm.. I really should throw this garbage away but I don't feel like it... maybe he could throw it away for me?".

    Depending on the compliment, they don't necessarily mean much.

    Sounds like a "war of the egos" type of situation.

  4. #164
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Ha, go Marm! I've just been sitting here , thinking surely there's something I must have missed, maybe the OP is not a native speaker of English or something, because the story doesn't make any sense whatsoever ... she asked you to toss a bowl in the trash and you stopped speaking to her and now she gives you pleading expressions and you don't understand why she doesn't understand that she should apologize ... uh ... say what, now?

  5. #165
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Ha, go Marm! I've just been sitting here , thinking surely there's something I must have missed, maybe the OP is not a native speaker of English or something, because the story doesn't make any sense whatsoever ... she asked you to toss a bowl in the trash and you stopped speaking to her and now she gives you pleading expressions and you don't understand why she doesn't understand that she should apologize ... uh ... say what, now?
    Well he complimented her on her attractiveness and she responded by asking him to throw away her garbage in a supposedly snooty manner. I guess in a way, dismissing his gesture.

  6. #166
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    She must die.

  7. #167
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post


    Theories differ on how to interpret this. Some say you use Fi, but poorly and with little conscious control. As an INTP, you would tend to use T(i) for internal judgment, and Fe rather than Fi for values. The highlighted is false and an overgeneralization. You will have certain things in common with some extraverts but not with others, just as with other introverts.
    Oh wow, somebody on this forum understands the basic principles of typological theory.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  8. #168
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    What do you think sympathy usually contains? Intent is no substitute for substance. To me, it usually comes across as just empty pro-forma words that have no real consequence.
    Human understanding. Compassion. Acknowledgement of pain and misfortune. Acknowledgement of another's values. Acknowledgement of importance in another's life. The creation of a bridge between one's sense of self and another's. The welcoming of other-awareness into one's mind. The whisper of a reminder that humans are not solitary creatures and we cannot survive without one another, no matter how independent we may be. That we are each a small link in a grand chain and that we each are connected to a greater whole. It also reconnects us with our selves - sympathy tends to make us reflect upon our own values. I think intent is substance, even if the effects are intangible. It may not be real-world action but it is a prerequisite to living a life that is compassionate and aware. Sympathy is affirming to the person who is suffering and it is affirming to the person who is sympathizing. Sometimes there is no productive action that can ease the pain, anyway. Most grave sufferings are grave because they are unchangeable. The consideration of an equal - a pause in one's day and the sacrifice of cognitive space occupied by acknowledgement of their suffering - is in that case the greatest gift that one can give.

    I am not saying, of course, that people shouldn't try harder to act on their sympathies. I believe 110% that we should. But I don't think the importance of sympathy should be underestimated, either. It is an extension, however small and however rehearsed, of ourselves to reach out to another being. It's not empty - it's a start. And sometimes it's all that is needed.

  9. #169
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Human understanding. Compassion. Acknowledgement of pain and misfortune. Acknowledgement of another's values. Acknowledgement of importance in another's life. The creation of a bridge between one's sense of self and another's. The welcoming of other-awareness into one's mind. The whisper of a reminder that humans are not solitary creatures and we cannot survive without one another, no matter how independent we may be. That we are each a small link in a grand chain and that we each are connected to a greater whole. It also reconnects us with our selves - sympathy tends to make us reflect upon our own values. I think intent is substance, even if the effects are intangible. It may not be real-world action but it is a prerequisite to living a life that is compassionate and aware. Sympathy is affirming to the person who is suffering and it is affirming to the person who is sympathizing. Sometimes there is no productive action that can ease the pain, anyway. Most grave sufferings are grave because they are unchangeable. The consideration of an equal - a pause in one's day and the sacrifice of cognitive space occupied by acknowledgement of their suffering - is in that case the greatest gift that one can give.
    This is extremely well-written, and probably the best answer to my question I could expect. I still cannot fathom it, though. It makes sense in theory, but seems always to fall flat in practice. When people express sympathy to me (at least I think that is what they are trying to do), I do not feel understood or my values acknowledged. I do not want my pain and misfortune to be the focus of our interaction. I either find the expression completely empty, or feel the person is trying to project or impose their values and their interpretation of the situation onto me, which at that point just adds insult to injury. I do not want to connect with such a person, or have them share my awareness in any way. I just want them to leave me alone to address my issues rather than bemoan them. If someone feels for me in a time of difficulty, and wishes to sacrifice cognitive space on my behalf (a great expression) I prefer they devote it to something more positive. (Needless to say, it is very hard for me to express sympathy to others, however much I understand their need and want to help.)
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #170
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    Oh wow, somebody on this forum understands the basic principles of typological theory.
    It's a forum miracle!
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

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