User Tag List

First 3111213141523 Last

Results 121 to 130 of 245

  1. #121
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    I get along well with ESFP's but my best friend (ESFP) takes MONTHS to appologize...everything you've stated here is correct. I pretend to get along with ISFP's but they're the same...I loath them secretly tho( most of the time) the reason is YES, THEY DON'T FUCKING SAY SORRY!

    Now that the rant's out of the way... To be logical: Being an Fi user...bad one but still one. I understand an introverted feeler waaay more than an extraverted feeler. Meaning I get TJ's and FP's... because the more someone holds back emotion...shows that they care to me...It's weird i know. But it's like a language in a way. My one friend was so happy i did something for her and her reaction was simply a hug, and I could see her holding back tears. That is more impactful than someone saying thank you i appreciate this. So the other answer is YES they're assuming. They assume that you know they're sorry from that look they're giving you...they're speaking Fi.
    my ISFP ex would get upset anytime I vocalized my affection toward her, and she'd start pushing me away and acted like I was just some player out for sex.

    I totally know what you mean by the whole "holding back" thing. And in a sense I wish I was capable of something like that, like how some people wait until the day before marriage to say "I love you" and it actually MEANS SOMETHING!

    But even then I think the dynamic works out between NFJ's and STP's. I find NFJ's seek verbal affirmation, and I am willing to give that. In fact I need to, or else it bottles up, which is painful to me.

  2. #122
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Sorry I'm sorta stalking your thread; it's just an interesting one.

    It kind of makes sense that you and e6s typically have a hard time. You're very forceful-forward - the most forceful type/wing/instinct combination of the Enneagram - and 6s natively react. We don't have the same grounded, assured feeling that you have - we feel knocked about by our environment. It really throws a 6 off to have such forceful forward energy coming at them - it's like the force of your energy requires an equal amount of energy on the 6's part either to react back at you, or to restabilize themselves after being pushed in a certain direction.

    I'm interested in what you mean about 6s being hurtful to open up to. I know one 6 that I trust in that sense and another who I don't trust, as she's shared personal feelings I've told her in confidence before.
    Because they're ingratiating. They act all nice and stuff when they don't actually trust you at all. Then when you get too close BOOM, they slap you with some reactive comment that you were completely unprepared for.

    I can't date that. If you hurt my feelings unpredictably, I won't be able to trust you. As I said before, when I open my heart to someone, its wide open for the stabbing.

  3. #123
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Because they're ingratiating. They act all nice and stuff when they don't actually trust you at all. Then when you get too close BOOM, they slap you with some reactive comment that you were completely unprepared for.

    I can't date that. If you hurt my feelings unpredictably, I won't be able to trust you. As I said before, when I open my heart to someone, its wide open for the stabbing.
    Ah, I see. I tend to assume that all people are simultaneously behaving in one way and thinking in a different one, for the sake of harmony and/or efficiency, and that with greater proximity comes greater trust, so more "inappropriate" feelings will be revealed in closer relationships. Not that I am not hurt when finding out that someone has given one impression and really feels differently, of course.

  4. #124
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Sorry I'm sorta stalking your thread; it's just an interesting one.

    It kind of makes sense that you and e6s typically have a hard time. You're very forceful-forward - the most forceful type/wing/instinct combination of the Enneagram - and 6s natively react. We don't have the same grounded, assured feeling that you have - we feel knocked about by our environment. It really throws a 6 off to have such forceful forward energy coming at them - it's like the force of your energy requires an equal amount of energy on the 6's part either to react back at you, or to restabilize themselves after being pushed in a certain direction.
    Hmm. Yes palmer described how E6's view the world as if its very fragile and could shatter at any moment. Her example said, "some people view the glass as half empty, some view it as half full, 6's just realize the glass could shatter at any moment." My boss was an E6, and I threatened to hire all his employees away from him. I managed to get all their business cards and tell them I'll pay them more than he does. They were down with the idea. My boss pulled me aside, screamed at me. The whole time he was shaking and pacing back and forth. lol.

    I think my intellectual speed and bouncing energy can make some people think I'm just a walking tornado or something, like at any moment I could break something for no fuckin reason at all.

    One INTJ 5 I met described an ESTP as, "he sprinted out of a party, turned on the motorcycle and immediately slammed headfirst into a tree." lol. Part of me thinks that story was made up, but it paints a good image of ESTP's as loose cannons in general.

    I actually think this is a sensor trait. I find ESFJ's to be even worse than I am at this, haha.

  5. #125
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    18,432

    Default

    Haven't read the whole thread, so someone may have said something like this already, but here's my response to the OP.

    @DJ Arendee

    I'm familiar with that process of seeming/feeling remorseful and then acting really, really nice -- because I've done that to others before. But it's not ever because I should have said sorry; when I am sorry, I make an active and concerted effort to say sorry. When I act like that ESFP, it's because I know the person is mad at me, but I don't think I've done anything wrong -- and I'm hoping that they'll calm down and realize how irrational they were, so we can be friends again.

    Edit: It's not that I'll act remorseful and not mean it... just to clarify. It's that I'm sad that they're mad at me, and I wish they weren't -- and I wish there was something I could do about it, without apologizing.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  6. #126
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    Ah, I see. I tend to assume that all people are simultaneously behaving in one way and thinking in a different one, for the sake of harmony and/or efficiency, and that with greater proximity comes greater trust, so more "inappropriate" feelings will be revealed in closer relationships. Not that I am not hurt when finding out that someone has given one impression and really feels differently, of course.
    I think with me, once I open up, that's it. There's really nothing more past that other than knowledge and what I'm thinking. My surface behavior is completely completely different from my underlying behavior. For example, my ENFJ 3 best friend over here is awesome, and sometimes I catch myself following him around like a puppy every so often. I actually have to remind myself not to do that. Around him I'm really quiet and calm. When I'm away from him or a girlfriend, I often change back to... how I sorta feel right now. Neurotic and all over the place.

  7. #127
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Posts
    2,319

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Haven't read the whole thread, so someone may have said something like this already, but here's my response to the OP.

    @DJ Arendee

    I'm familiar with that process of seeming/feeling remorseful and then acting really, really nice -- because I've done that to others before. But it's not ever because I should have said sorry; when I am sorry, I make an active and concerted effort to say sorry. When I act like that ESFP, it's because I know the person is mad at me, but I don't think I've done anything wrong -- and I'm hoping that they'll calm down and realize how irrational they were, so we can be friends again.

    Edit: It's not that I'll act remorseful and not mean it... just to clarify. It's that I'm sad that they're mad at me, and I wish they weren't -- and I wish there was something I could do about it, without apologizing.
    By the description you just gave it seems like that's exactly what she's thinking. I guess I'll ask her if I owe her an explanation.

  8. #128
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    CROW
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII None
    Posts
    9,035

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I think I only expect apologies as an ultimatum. Either you apologize or I stop talking to you and move on. And so I'd like to learn if its acceptable to take her sad face and ingratiating tone as enough of an apology.
    I don't quite understand what upset you so much, but I don't think it's acceptable to take a sad face as an apology. Having the cajones to make a verbal apology and put yourself on the line is something someone owes me if they really do care about me. It's not terribly difficult to apologize, it simply requires a modicum of humility. I'm not asking them to build a rocketship. Just, apologize, and give me verbal acknowledgment that you know you fucked up, and let's move on from there.
    [Trump's] rhetoric is not an abuse of power. In the same way that it's also not against the law to do a backflip off of the roof of your house onto your concrete driveway. It's just mind-numbingly stupid and, to say the least, counterproductive. - Bush did 9-11


    This is not going to go the way you think....

    Visit my Johari:
    http://kevan.org/johari?name=Birddude78

  9. #129
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    yupp
    Posts
    29,776

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by msg_v2 View Post
    I don't quite understand what upset you so much, but I don't think it's acceptable to take a sad face as an apology. Having the cajones to make a verbal apology and put yourself on the line is something someone owes me if they really do care about me. It's not terribly difficult to apologize, it simply requires a modicum of humility. I'm not asking them o build a rocketship. Just, apologize, and give me verbal acknowledgment that you know you fucked up, and let's move on from there.
    some people would build a rocket ship over apologize though
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  10. #130
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,737

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    some people would build a rocket ship over apologize though
    Well building a rocketship for someone would definitely be pretty sweet, I think we can all agree on that. . .
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

Similar Threads

  1. [Fi] For weary Fi-users
    By Amargith in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 07-20-2014, 12:15 PM
  2. Fi users and self righteous indignation
    By Walking Tourist in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-29-2011, 11:17 PM
  3. [Fi] 2 Kinds of Fi users
    By Elfboy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 08-08-2011, 09:41 PM
  4. [Fi] Fi users
    By INTPness in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 04-15-2010, 06:17 AM
  5. [Fi] Fi users: Tell me the good things???
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 12-30-2009, 05:36 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO