Blatant discrimination: your favorite and least favorite MBTI types of mate

[Kasper]

If someone is working out how they can choke the life out of me, dump me in a shallow grave, and not spend time in gaol, I'm looking at a xxTJ. We should not mate.

If I've just insta-clicked with someone they're usually either a xxFJ or a xNxP, that connection tends to lasts better with a Fe/Ti iNtuitive type.

 

[skylights]

I feel like I prioritize these three things most in a partner: warmth, sincerity, and self-discipline.

Green for go...

ISFJ - I'm sorry I wax on about him, but our relationship is so wonderful. He fulfills my 3 priorities and then some. And he's so intelligent in ways that I'm not. I'm hoping to stick with him, but should anything happen, I would definitely be open to dating another ISFJ.

ESFJ - Ditto ISFJ, I would definitely date an ESFJ. I think SFJ is such a great combination for its forthrightness and warmth. Pretty sure my middle school crush was an ESFJ, lol.

xSTJ - Yes. I have a girl-crush on an ESTJ at work, I'd definitely date her if she were a guy or into chicks and I were single.

Purple for I'm open...

xNTP - I would give it a shot with NTPs, for sure. The caveats would be with INTPs, I still need some degree of warmth and togetherness, and then with ENTPs, I couldn't do super high energy, undirected focus.

ISxP - I would give these types a shot, too. I haven't had extensive ISxP interaction IRL, besides with my ISTP little brother. I think his girlfriend is an ENFP, too, actually, though maybe ESFP. Could be pleasing.

Orange for proceed with caution...

xNFJ - We were so alike in some ways and so not in others, and I'm not sure our differences always lined up in a good way. To be fair, this particular ENFJ had intimacy issues, but FeNi doorslam is exquisitely painful. I fear with NFJs that there is a combination of Ni not-directness and J closure. I trust SJs more because I always know where I stand with them. However, I have met such lovely xNFJs on here. I would still try it, but cautiously.

xNTJ - Again, open but cautious. Again with the Ni not-directness and J closure. It freaks me out. I would think Te would be better about this, but I know an ENTJ who's such a manipulator and not straightforward at all, even though he's very directive.

INFP - I have some really awesome INFP friends, and I had a probably-too-close friendship with an INFP 9w1 sp/sx at one point. He was super warm and sweet but super open-ended, which considering how open-ended I am, was bad news for the relationship. We could never decide what to do. It also seems like INFPs are often too serious for me in a way. I can make them angry because I'm too ExxP and too 6.

Red for oh hell no.

ESxP - I really doubt these could ever work. I am just so not Se. The thing about ESxPs is how they come and go with the wind, always moving, going where they please. It makes them super fucking cool but would also trip me out in a relationship. I'd be clingy.

ENFP - This was awful. It was fun at first and then I had to deal with double myself all the time, except 7w6, so even more off the chain than me. I would really hesitate entering a relationship if I knew the person was another ENFP, unless they were e2, 3, or 8. I would still hesitate even knowing that.

 

[mintleaf]

IxFx: Nope. The IxFx perspective is usually too familiar to me to be interesting or complementary. (They can be great friends and I'm not saying that they aren't interesting people, I just don't think we would mesh well in a relationship)
ExxP: I'd be willing to try it out.
IxTP: Maybe an e4, 6, or 8
ENFJ: Yes. I can't stand some of them, but most I really like
ESFJ: Maybe
IxTJ: Probably? Really depends on the individual. I've had mixed experiences with them.
ExTJ: I know for sure that they can't tolerate me.

 

[Amargith]

Didn't date much back in the day but will employ Ne-what-if tactics for this list

Definitely intrigued:

INTJ - let's just go with 'Duh'

ENTJ - If they can get over the first impression I leave on them, and come to trust me and my silliness, I think we could have epic fun, and potential compatibility. I think I would love me some steamrolling candy with TeSe driven personal, intimate, efficient handling

ENFJ: Same as the ENTJ, just with FeSe handling, making it warmer, fuzzier and having an added bonus of an emotional chess partner

ISTP: Dated it before, would not be opposed to doing so again. Uncomplicated, fun, often confident, good at what I suck at and vice versa and direct and communicative in ways I know to appreciate...


'It's got potential...maybe'

ESTP: dated one, got burned hard, but I did love our time together when it was good. Too much fighting for his attention though, and hard time keeping up with the skill level they expect you to have in Se.

INFP: It borders on incest but...a quiet, confident and healthy INFP can be such a treasure trove. It would be a welcome relief to be able to let Fi go all out and not have it be regarded as threatening or too much to handle. The potential for warmth, acceptance and love between the two breeds could be epic. Granted, we're going to need a gardner, housekeeper, a handyman and an estate manager. Oh and money. Just to survive in our cocoon. *lol*

INTP: I pondered to put it up in the previous category and it is a borderline case. I get on sooo well with many of them and the Ne back and forth is amazing. Totally boggle my mind, always interesting, and when open to other perspectives, treasure troves of wisdom and knowledge. I just don't know how to handle their need for...well Fe. I'm not able to continuously supply them with what they experience as normal love and warmth in a relationship - a reassurance that they need to shut up that inferior Fe, Ive noticed, and they from their end aren't able to take away my worries about handling logistics in the real world. In other words, someone is always going to have to J up and I see it causing resentment in the long run. But it could be worth it, with a little flexing on both sides...

ESTJ: Im...not sure about this one. On the one hand, Te-dom infatuationwubbie, on the other tighty pants rules and work before pleasure, often without the option to persuade them otherwise ( always fun to do in NTJs ), as they very much value duty. It would greatly depend on the ESTJ. Also, I've found that we don't often share the same humor. Still though...when I watch them do their thing...

ISTJ: Im..not sure about this one either. I feel like Id run roughshod over them. So perhaps a very balanced one who knows how to laugh at himself and isn't easily terrified by chaos? Either way, I'd feel bad for them for having to put up with someone who causes that much chaos in their lives without even realising it. And I'd feel locked up (through expectations and disappointment) - and not in a good way (which would be hands on approach ). So unless they are up for a serious challenge, I think it is probably for the best to not traumatise the shit out of em.

ISFP: This one I think could work, much in the same way INFP could work. Not sure we'd have enough ways of sharing things with each other though. There isn't that inherent fear and fascination you get with STPs (since Fi is familiar and yet highly personal), and the execution is still highly foreign, making it sometimes hard to find a good compromise that is satisfying for both parties. But I think if the Fi values line up, and the guy is confident and relaxed about who he is, it could be a beautiful thing.

I try to keep an open mind but...

ENTP - insert incestuous 'Duh' here.

INFJ - I find that I fight with them wrt how morality/people should be viewed, handled and integrated into the world. And I end up feeling lectured, resentful, rebellious and not in a good way. I don't particularly feel the need to conform to your Ni world view, especially not when I have an Fi view of my own that aint about to budge (oddly the Ni logistics view of an INTJ doesn't bother me one bit) Not to mention I aint a fan of the Tertiary Ti slap (and IM sure its mutual on the Te slap). I dunno. I just feel like Id end up disappointing them non-stop, which would make me miserable. Otoh, since recently reading that mega drama fest thread on INFJ/INFP issues, I do have a bigger understanding for where they are coming from and it might help me overcome these issues. They do have a lot to offer on the whole.


ISFJ - They are awesome, they are lovely, they are magnificent and they are...terrified/dismayed/disappointed by me. Not to mention they make me feel like I'm 5 years old again and am throwing a silly little tantrum. Who needs to be coddled and distracted and given a lollipop? That's right, you do! i dunno, dude. I have trouble getting aroused when thinking I'm 5 and feeling surrounded by maternal guidance. Perhaps there is however a side of ISFJ guys I seriously need to see, but again, like with the ISTJ, I aint sure its worth traumatising them over

Also, see ESTJ for tighty pants rules concern, mixed with honour and duty. Beautiful and admirable from afar but...not for tight living quarters.


ESFJ - Yeah. Ehhhm. I respond aversly to ridiculous gentleman traditions that show no sign of being adapted to the person you're with and they tend to be..charming in that way. And I can appreciate that kind of kindness and warmth in a friend but it aint going to...do much for me in the mate department. Also, see the ISFJ for a reiteration of the maternal, talked down to vibe. And ESTJ for tighty pants rules concern mixed with honour and duty.

 

[Showbread]

I'm pretty open to most types, but I think I prefer Es. Or at least a more outgoing I with a good sense of humor. I dated a guy who I think was an ISTP and I felt like a total spaz. He was so quiet and unexpressive. I also really struggle with TJ types. I find harsh and unfeeling. This might be because my father is an ESTJ and I would rather be single forever than be married to someone like him.

 

[rav3n]

But ENTPs follow me. We will sniff each other out like dogs, no matter how improbable the context. We always find each other.

If ENTPs are sniffing your spoor and you're an enneatype 4, consider INFJ.

Best: INTPs
Worst: ESFJs

 

[WALMART]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

i love your colored denominations

not often i get such a visually stimulating post, around here

beyond that, i would rock your perceptions of the functions, if you gave the time. i don't think you're ENFP, for example, and whatever it's worth.

 

[skylights]

[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]

i love your colored denominations

not often i get such a visually stimulating post, around here

beyond that, i would rock your perceptions of the functions, if you gave the time. i don't think you're ENFP, for example, and whatever it's worth.

Thank you

Hah, I'm open and intrigued. PM me.

 

[Kasper]

If ENTPs are sniffing your spoor, consider INFJ.

Too wordy, fixed.

 

[rav3n]

Too wordy, fixed.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I have a love/hate for INTJs

 

[baccheion]

INFJ: I bet I'll marry one. I just have to avoid the ones that are fucked up or just plain wrong about me (a lot of them).
ENxP: great for communication. Strong Ne connection. Similar even though we are so different. We are always on the same page, but the ENFPs eventually start to get on my nerves. Also, the ENFPs project shit onto me (on average) more than any other type. Take the dumbest shit you could say to me or about me at any time, and out of their mouth it comes.
ENFJ: sometimes I find them physically attractive and it blinds me, and sometimes they warm me up, but at the end of the day they annoy me. They are always trying to "bring out the best in me" or trying to "better me" or trying to pet me. That's what they say they are doing, but what they are really doing is trying to get me to conform to some bullshit while being obsessively sure that their bullshit view of me is actually correct. They've never seen me for who I am or for what I actually could be; they always underestimate me, or try to steer me in a direction other than the one I'm going with. They are obsessed with saying they got me to open up and all the etceteras that go with that. If they'd EVER stop doing this, I would devour them whole, but no matter what I do it just keeps happening.
xSxJ: They get on my nerves.
ISTP: luckily I've seen the hot ones not the tomboys. Don't know much more than that.
ESTP: for some reason I always get along with them. It's weird. I should be careful though, I don't want to be the male equivalent of women who fall for the ESTP snake oil.
ESFP: why is it that the ones I've seen have all been overweight. No idea how this would work. Not enough info.
IxFP: sometimes good, sometimes bad. Mostly good. I think they are too sensitive.
ESFJ: FUCK NO! Instant repulsion.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I really like SPs and I'm glad I married one. As far as temperament goes, they are pretty much the exact opposite of the NF temperament, but I think NFs and SPs compliment one another quite well in a relationship. The SP's grounded, in-the-moment approach to life can be good for NFs when they get a little too lost in the clouds and abstract thought. Equally, the NF's intuitive nature can be useful in helping the SP mate take a moment to think things through and not always make hasty judgement calls.

I'm speaking more from the experience of being with a SFP--I don't know how STP-NF matches work...

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I really like SPs and I'm glad I married one. As far as temperament goes, they are pretty much the exact opposite of the NF temperament, but I think NFs and SPs compliment one another quite well in a relationship. The SP's grounded, in-the-moment approach to life can be good for NFs when they get a little too lost in the clouds and abstract thought. Equally, the NF's intuitive nature can be useful in helping the SP mate take a moment to think things through and not always make hasty judgement calls.

I'm speaking more from the experience of being with a SFP--I don't know how STP-NF matches work...

I imagine badly.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

There's a few NFs with ESTP spouses in the ESTP facebook group...

 

[Abbey]

I would specifically consider INFPs, ENFPs, INTPs, ESTPs, and one INFJ who didn't seem like an INFJ as mates. Although I appreciate all types.
I always fall for Je-doms and I DON'T KNOW WHY: ENFJ & ESTJ. I think it may be that we are both J-doms, it's easier to relate in that way for some reason than to P-doms, and I generally fall for extroverts.

I have to admit that I have never been interested in Si-Dom, too much detailed story telling that goes on forever.

 

[CourtneyJD]

I pretty much only romantically like introverts. I like getting them to talk to me and debate with me and give me their opinions. It's more work and makes it more fun for me. I also only like thinkers for romantic relationships. Less complicated that way.

INTJ's: Probably my favorite. I am amused by the arrogance and "evil genius" quality.
INTP's: Sometimes that overly heightened Ti makes me want to smack them in the face, as they assume they are 100% correct in their assertions, but other than that, I really like them. They won't pretend to feel or think something they don't just to make me happy.
ISTJ's: I've known a few, but always ended up finding them to be boring and they found me to be flakey and unfocused, who knew?
ISTP's: I had a major crush on an ISTP for years, but nothing ever came of it. It's probably for the best, as we would have very little common ground.

The only extrovert exception is the ENTP-who are more introverted-but it didn't work out. We were way to similar and ended up just brainstorming things and drinking and playing guitar and singing, and never really got anywhere. And don't get me wrong, that makes for an amazing friendship (we are still good friends) but it's bad in a relationship. There was no contrast between us, and we often joked we were just two sides of the same person.

Sorry E's and F's. Can't dig it.

 

[five sounds]

ESFJs are cool and all, but sometimes they need to step off.

 

[greenfairy]

Haha...I am kind of boring and dry. And practical about love. And I'm a liberal snob. But I say things people think are funny!

 

[five sounds]

I pretty much only romantically like introverts.

me too

The only extrovert exception is the ENTP-who are more introverted-but it didn't work out. We were way to similar and ended up just brainstorming things and drinking and playing guitar and singing, and never really got anywhere. And don't get me wrong, that makes for an amazing friendship (we are still good friends) but it's bad in a relationship. There was no contrast between us, and we often joked we were just two sides of the same person.

i'm pretty sure i had the exact same relationship.