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  1. #61
    Member Surr's Avatar
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    The NF people I know tend to avoid conflict and keep a lot of their frustration inside but when they do take part in a conflict, it's usually very calm and rational if done after waiting it out a few hours or so, they approach you like "hey uhm here's why I feel like you haven't treated me fair" whereas if they jump in a conflict in the moment, it may get ugly. I pissed off my ENFP roommate whom I had known for a decade and was very close friends with. I lashed out on her a bit and when I tried to apologize, the damage was already done and she kicked me out on the street just like that. I later on approached her with the intention of just clearing the air, figuring out what the confrontation was all about and moving on with a clear conscience but she never answered, her closer friends have told me she's feeling too ashamed to contact me. Well, that's merely my own subjective experience of NF conflict

  2. #62
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    I run the gamut. I hate 'loosing it', in those cases I go off somewhere until I can cool down. Some issues annoy me highly, but I don't approach them if I think they're short lived and have no beneficial resolution by addressing them. Sometimes I insert myself into conflict, usually because it's something I feel strongly about. I've learned through a very frustrating relationship with a 9 that things you are unhappy about need to be addressed before they get worse, nobody is going to speak up for you. So I don't shy away from bringing up issues in any relationship, especially romantic and work relationships, those ones that you know will be there day after day. Very occasionally I'm in a mood and just instigate shit.

  3. #63
    Senior Member capslock's Avatar
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    I avoid conflict when it 'doesn't matter', and this is nearly always the case for me. But when it matters, and especially when people with power, who can affect things, and who should know better, are wrong and about to do things that will have bad consequences for other people, are involved - then I am confrontational, to the best of my ability. This happened most recently today, and my actions might have seen to other people like 'burning bridges', but I made my point, and was right and stand for everything I said, and I'm fully ok with any eventual repercussions. And, the thing I made clear did not serve me personally, but rather other people and stakeholders - including the person I stood up to, which is pretty ironic. The power trip some people are on amazes me (I'm being polite here).

  4. #64
    Gryffindor Prefect OneLovelyAdventure's Avatar
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    I'm remarkably confrontational. Possibly to a fault. It could be my tendency to say what's on my mind without thinking through if it'd be a good thing to say.
    "You can't help respecting anybody who can spell 'Tuesday,' even if he doesn't spell it right, but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling 'Tuesday' simply doesn't count." -- Winnie the Pooh

    ENFP 3w2-7w6-8w7 sx/so
    Neutral Good | SLUAI | Sanguine-Choleric
    Gryffindor | Wampus
    Sagittarius Sun | Sagittarius Moon | Aquarius Rising


  5. #65
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    I do not seek conforontation, but I also am not afraid of it at all. I simply need a reason for it (i.e. there is an end goal that needs to be acheived) before I'll get into it.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
    Enneagram: 1w2 - 3w4 - 6w5 (The Taskmaster) | sp/so
    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari


  6. #66
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    From my experience, INFP is the only conflict avoidant one.

  7. #67
    climb on Showbread's Avatar
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    I would also agree that INFP is the only one that is particularly conflict avoidant, maybe to some degree INFJ. But, once you light a fire under an INFJ it's hard to put it out.
    Friends, waffles, work

    "The problem is, when you depend on a substitute for love, you can never get enough" - Louis Cozolino

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  8. #68
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by capslock View Post
    I avoid conflict when it 'doesn't matter', and this is nearly always the case for me. But when it matters, and especially when people with power, who can affect things, and who should know better, are wrong and about to do things that will have bad consequences for other people, are involved - then I am confrontational, to the best of my ability. This happened most recently today, and my actions might have seen to other people like 'burning bridges', but I made my point, and was right and stand for everything I said, and I'm fully ok with any eventual repercussions. And, the thing I made clear did not serve me personally, but rather other people and stakeholders - including the person I stood up to, which is pretty ironic. The power trip some people are on amazes me (I'm being polite here).

    yep.

    I find a lesson in you stating you stood up for the person you stood up to. Thanks for that.

  9. #69
    Senior Member capslock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quay View Post
    yep.

    I find a lesson in you stating you stood up for the person you stood up to. Thanks for that.
    Glad to hear that.

  10. #70
    Senior Member Yaru's Avatar
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    I am conflict avoidant only when I am not interested in the conflict.

    Like when my family write to me long scrolls of text saying that I should be more present, that I should at least try to miss them , emotional stuff/ emotional stuff ecc
    I am pretty meh. I rather avoid them and make up excuses rather than being confrontational.

    But when I am with people I am confident with I try not to be confrontational but some times I can't help it but find any pretest to argue. I think it's my way to vent for all the times I avoid conflict.

    Personality traits: a summary by Yar'Chun
    Introverted - Independent bitch
    Extraverted - Weak
    Intuitive - Creative 4th dimension spacelord
    Sensing - Dumb
    Feeling - Such confused wow
    Thinking - Smart
    Judjing - Nel mio intimo c'è Chilly
    Perceiving - Oooh butterflies


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