However what happens when the confrontation is physical? You don't even have to have any prior experience with the individual, they could be a drunken idiot, or a mugger.
I know this wasn't addressed to me, but.. To be honest, I like it. A little.
I don't really like violence, and I don't really desire it at all (outside of petty games like wrestling and sports.. or when I'm drinking vodka apparently..) but if it rears its head into a situation I just react. Later on, I almost get this sense of feeling *good* about it.. Then later I feel bad because the adult in me kicks in and tells me it's not good to resort to violence even if I thought it was justified.
Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
Halla74: Think your way through the world. Feel your way through life.
Cimarron: maybe Prpl will be your girl-bud
prplchknz: i don't like it
I am okay with conflict if it's needed to solve a problem. I don't like an elephant in the room. I hate sweeping things under the rug to keep peace. It always rears its ugly head; why pretend it's not there? In which case, honesty is important too. On those questions which ask if you prefer honesty or keeping peace (or something like that), I go with honesty, because what good is peace founded on a lie. That's not real peace, just people repressing their real feelings. I do believe in productive conflict - but I don't think you can get a good end without open communication & giving the benefit of the doubt (not dismissing something because you don't like HOW it was said). I don't do ass-kissing.
I like a bit of debate & banter as long as as it's not degrading or hostile. I'm okay with teasing humor. I've been surprised to see how much other types are more sensitive there (xxFJs seem WAY more sensitive to teasing humor). I get over stuff fast. When I've held a grudge it feels strange, because I'm used to being forgiving. I can complain a lot about people I am/was close to & feel no ill will or grudge towards them. I'm just super idealistic & have high standards; a critical attitude is more indicative of caring than a nice attitude, which is more connected to indifference. It can cause conflict if I refuse to compromise on an ideal & it involves holding someone else to a standard. This is where I don't over-accomodate & I don't feel bad about it because I don't ask a lot from people in day to day life.
I tend to avoid introducing conflict when I feel it may not be valid, that it would be petty or nitpicking. This can lead to me over-accommodating & not speaking up about something that bugs me because I'll keep excusing it in case I am over-reacting & being too sensitive. I sort of invalidate my own feelings sometimes or assume others will.
I also avoid conflict that might lead to me being emotional, because I don't like that vulnerability. This used to make me timid over silly things, like returning an item to a store and fearing they'll give me a hard time about it.
"Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure
I'm confrontational in the heat of the moment. Usually I'm really upbeat and serene. So really it depends on how I feel at the time. For example, I remember two instances where my friends dismissed me inquiring about something because I was "stupid." The first time I laughed with them. I knew they were kidding. The second time I got pissed: "I was just fucking asking blah blah blah." It wasn't even built up, they just made me feel like shit that time even though it wasn't any different. I'm also confrontational when something I deeply believe in is violated or when something I'm passionate about is taken lightly.
But I get over things pretty quickly. Don't know why, I just do. Holding contempt for someone is just going to make me feel worse and not get anything done. I prefer my quick bursts of confrontation so I get to say what I want to say when I want to say it. And it can improve my relationships with people to.
Very confrontational. I carry more energy than I know what to do with so have the propensity for antagonizing violent drug addicts I'll spend the next half hour trying to lose on the highway, though fortunately have been blessed by the holy spirit the ability to disappear on command, or just convince others that I'm simply a figment of their imagination. I am a voice.