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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by iNtrovert View Post
    I know I can come across as cold. Most of the time it's intentional. [...]
    Fe and Te are Judging functions. Judging functions are about organizing things. Thus, Te is about organizing things using logic and structure and management. Fe is about organizing people using teamwork and emotions and personal boundaries.

    Fe is very good at setting personal boundaries. It would make sense to set personal boundaries higher when first meeting people and then lowering the boundaries over time. Also, INFJs have Auxiliary Fe, which is weaker than Dominant Fe. So it would make sense that INFJs would set higher boundaries than an Fe-Dom, i.e., as a precaution.

    In fact, I’ve noticed in real life that INFJs tend to set pretty high personal boundaries. They don’t have the warm, hospitable Fe like some Fe-Doms. Instead they tend to be good bosses and administrators: Inspiring loyalty in subordinates but at the same time keeping an appropriate distance between themselves and subordinates/clients/patients/etc. In other words, no inappropriate fraternizing and that sort of thing...

  2. #12
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    Fe is very good at setting personal boundaries.... INFJs have Auxiliary Fe, which is weaker than Dominant Fe. So it would make sense that INFJs would set higher boundaries than an Fe-Dom, i.e., as a precaution. In fact, I’ve noticed in real life that INFJs tend to set pretty high personal boundaries. They don’t have the warm, hospitable Fe like some Fe-Doms.
    Makes sense and sounds about right. Now I have another question. How warm would you say you are upon first meeting someone. Being a feeling dom in general do you think you'd be warmer than an infj?
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by iNtrovert View Post
    Makes sense and sounds about right. Now I have another question. How warm would you say you are upon first meeting someone. Being a feeling dom in general do you think you'd be warmer than an infj?
    Lol. It's apples and oranges. Here's what I mean:

    My dominant function is Introverted F. That means that my Fi tends to operate *internally*. This means that *externally* I can be as blank and cold as any INTP, especially if I don't get a favorable first impression of the other person. At the same time, I'm a perceiver with regard to my external function (Ne-Aux), which means I suck at organizing and at arranging my *external* personal boundaries. So if I take a quick liking to someone, I can be extremely outgoing and personable with them, to the point of inappropriate fraternization.

    INFPs are known as being mercurial and changeable depending on their internal whims. Poor external boundaries and an internalized F function are the reasons.

    As for me personally, I'm an older, more mature INFP. So I do the adult thing and try to be outgoing on a predictable, stable basis. But with younger INFPs, it can really go either way.

    Again, comparing INFJs (Ni-Dom) and INFPs (Fi-Dom) tends to be apples and oranges, because their Doms are different and their orientations toward the world are different (Judger vs. Perceiver).

  4. #14
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    @FineLine Well thats disappointing lol. I just always kinda thought that F doms even Fi would still have an air of some type of feeling. Like you said Fi is a horse of a different color so I suppose that's not the case.
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by iNtrovert View Post
    @FineLine Well thats disappointing lol. I just always kinda thought that F doms even Fi would still have an air of some type of feeling. Like you said Fi is a horse of a different color so I suppose that's not the case.
    I think young INFPs are typically described as "aloof" in social situations, especially with strangers. There's a typical Feeler "softness" about INFPs, but it doesn't necessarily translate into "warmth."

    It can be frustrating for us INFPs as well; most INFPs would prefer to be able to connect with others a little better.

  6. #16
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I'm definitely reserved when it comes to strangers -- However, with people who I need a good working relationship, like new colleagues, I do try to be (sometimes overly) friendly and make them feel welcomed.

    My problem tends to be that I have a nice sweet facade that I use to interact with people, even ones I don't particularly care about, while on the inside I can be quite indifferent, but then they think I am their best friend, and I go "Oh, no!" and start to withdraw, and then feel bad about it.

    I really like people, in general. I just don't like dealing with them.
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  7. #17
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    i've known INFJs to have quite a poker face when they collect themselves from hurt into anger, like a complete and utter disconnect from the outside... i am not sure if that's the coldness your speaking of.

  8. #18
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I'm definitely reserved when it comes to strangers -- However, with people who I need a good working relationship, like new colleagues, I do try to be (sometimes overly) friendly and make them feel welcomed.

    My problem tends to be that I have a nice sweet facade that I use to interact with people, even ones I don't particularly care about, while on the inside I can be quite indifferent, but then they think I am their best friend, and I go "Oh, no!" and start to withdraw, and then feel bad about it.

    I really like people, in general. I just don't like dealing with them.
    This^

    I really hate when that happens. They start inviting me places....I start making excuses. They add me on facebook ...I pretend I didn't get their request lol
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  9. #19
    Senior Member iNtrovert's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    i've known INFJs to have quite a poker face when they collect themselves from hurt into anger, like a complete and utter disconnect from the outside... i am not sure if that's the coldness your speaking of.
    No, I was referring to first impressions in general. The initial vibe they give off to strangers. However, what your talking about sound interesting. Feel free to continue that line of thought.
    "Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul."_Walt Whitman

  10. #20
    Senior Member Idealatious's Avatar
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    I think I usually come off as distant. People tell me such personal things that I would never, ever tell a stranger! I view sharing emotions or deeper, personal things as something that should only be undertaken with very close friends, or in magical intimate situations. I don't know if I come off as cold, though. Maybe such distant. Hard for me to tell though.

    Every so often, if I come across someone shyer than myself, I get protective of them and try to entertain them, which probably makes me seem more extraverted. I admit I like being just a little higher in position than a newcomer or in some position where they are more socially tentative than I am, because it is fun to entertain those kinds of people, ask them questions, and try to get to know them.

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