INTJs are all interested in world domination. INTPs are too lazy to bother.
A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '
ExTPs enjoy throwing shit at fans.
ISFPs are too hipster to be called hipster.
INTPs are geniuses but never apply it, so they end up picking empty crisp packets off the side of the road for a living.
ESFPs are blonde idiotic schoolgirls who have IQs beaten by turkeys.
INFPs use their bread knifes for their body parts instead.
INTJs are asexual virgins and die as such.
INTJ - Genuinely believes in holocaust denial. Defends Loose Change. Really, any conspiracy theory that involves espionage and hidden corporate opportunity. Ayn Rand and Alex Jones. Libertarianism. More important to be viewed as intelligent than to be realized as accurate. More often, flat wrong and poorly informed.
INTP - Criticizes your grammar because he can't disprove your argument. Thinks it's an acceptable intellectual quirk to go days without bathing - not because he's unsanitary, but because looks "don't matter". Huge into Joy Division. Talks about 4chan and identifies with Anonymous - not because he's responsible for either, but because real friends don't like unkempt neck beards.
INFP - Also into Joy Division, but because Ian Curtis was a tortured soul who found immortality in personal tragedy. Males frequently waste their lives in empty, soulless online arguments about which comic book character/s is better and why. Can't understand why anyone wouldn't waste vast swaths of their prime years clashing with a complete stranger over why fictional character A is really, truly better than fictional character B. Females love Cosplay and J-pop male heartthrobs, because it happily excuses why they can't attract normal guys.
INFJ - Wrong like the INTJ, but about human interest fluff. Have a "Coexist" bumper decal. Voted for Obama because he was black. Spam everyone's Facebook page with political stories that involve terms like "offended" and "inequality", thinking people appreciate their desire to see their personal vision realized. Fail to realize people sometimes just want to go about their lives without getting an online petition email. Responsible for Change.org and Greenpeace. Seem great until you get to know them. Tip: Don't get to know them.
ENTJ - Frequently found in leadership roles in business and politics - because they're generally too stupid for academia. Talk about their income in mixed company. Loudest guy in your meeting. Strangely into MMA - but never, never, never as participants. Will endlessly argue - less concerned with accuracy and truth than winning the argument. Responsible for biblical creationism in secondary-level science curricula. True bastards.
ENTP - They're the human equivalent of channel surfing. Know something about everything - in that way, they're like a less reliable Google search result, but without AVG security deleting the bullshit. Humor always fixed at 15-year old male age range. Wears a tuxedo shirt to their friend's wedding - and then tries to photobomb, 45 mins after getting into an uncomfortably-heated discussion with the father of the bride about his SUV. Never, ever contributed anything important to anyone old enough to legally vote. Best left where they're appreciated -- at the kiddie table doing magic tricks.
ENFP - Girls flaunt that they're the most creative person, EVER -- and prove it to you with Instagram. Young, stupid males were the face of The Occupy movement. Collect ninja swords and talk about mindfulness. Never employed more than part-time and even then, financially hand-held by their parents well into adulthood. Among the least important people you'll ever meet - despite their dreadlocks and Phish loyalty.
ISTJ - Real-life Dilbert without the irony. Wear sweaters to work. They're the perpetual "middle child" -- not intelligent enough to be nerdy; not funny enough to be remembered. A gray soul in a world that appreciates color. Would be tragic if they had anything interesting to say. They don't; so it's not.
ESTJ - Have a business degree from a 2-year college. Nothing further required.
ESTP - The balding fat-ass with a "Daytona '94 -- NO FAT CHICKS" frat shirt at your kid's baseball game. Loudly heckles the ref - the 8th grade ref who rode his bike to the game. Burps and cusses into his cell phone. Throws his trash under the bleachers. Probably stole something outta your bag.
...just wait until you have kids..
ISTP - The guy at the gym who never wipes down his equipment. Hogs the bench press with his buddy and then dares you with his eyebrow piercing and faux-hawk to say anything -- without actually saying anything to you at all. Creatine. UFC. Muscle cars. Attractive wife.
Just try to stay pleasant as he changes your oil and rotates your tires for $25.95.
ESFP -- Responsible for some the greatest crimes in human history: celebrity gossip; "duckface" picture phenomenon; YOLO; face glitter; Glee -- the list continues on. Per capita, the highest demographic for breast enhancement and belief in Santa Claus.
ESFJ - Always "best friends" with their moms. Use emoticons in professional email. The only people still watching American Idol. Toddlers and Tiaras - as a type, they share responsibility for JonBenet Ramsey. O-M-G.
ISFP - Artistic types who sleep in the nude. Sometimes in public. The "rainbow guy" from Tosh.O. Believe they'll be reunited with their pets in heaven. Find inspiration everywhere, which means they don't know garbage when they see it. Known for being quiet sensitive folk, which suggests you never know what to expect and should probably just assume the worst.