Bullying Personalities

[Cryonium]

Would you agree that the ES types and ENT types are more likely be or are usually the bullies? and that IN types to be vicitms? Im not trying to say all are bullies and all are victim.

 

[RaptorWizard]

In a sporting environment, ESTx.
In a professional environment, ENTx.
In a social environment, ESFx.
In an intellectual environment, INTx.
If you violate their feelings, ISFx.
If you violate their ideals, INFx.

Those are my best guesses, and of course they all depend on the cirumstances.

 

[Lexicon]

Would you agree that the ES types and ENT types are more likely be or are usually the bullies? and that IN types to be vicitms? Im not trying to say all are bullies and all are victim.

I've seen that dynamic go in any direction from/with any type. It's all just expressed differently. Overt vs covert, aggressive vs passive aggressive. Different spoons to stir up the same shit in a big pot of pointless drama. I could expound more, but really, why bother.

 

[sulfit]

Would you agree that the ES types and ENT types are more likely be or are usually the bullies? and that IN types to be vicitms? Im not trying to say all are bullies and all are victim.

I think this is more of an enneagram trait. There are 3 types which are considered to be "power-seeking": 2,5,8. These types can be more prone to bullying others.

It's not always ES and ExTs types. I know an INTJ e5 who often bullies those around him. He doesn't engage in physical confrontation, just tearing them to shreds emotionally and intellectually.

 

[Infj mom]

I agree with the above statement that this is a trait for those who seek power/status/recognition/huge circles of friends and expect everyone else to. As an INFJ, I very rarely (only in my own family) have met someone of the same type, and I would NEVER resort to being a bully. I torture myself far too much for saying too little as it is, and do not express my opinions loudly or forcefully ever, even when I am angry. That only happens in private, by myself, lest I cause major issues that would destroy my family. I do not view this as cowardice or lack of self-respect, rather a greater self-respect and respect for others than I have been shown, and I want to be different. It would destroy me to think I am the very thing I despise (which is not any person, it is a harmful theory or a way of being.)

I have in-laws who are ESTJs and find them to be very bullying - my mother-in-law is much worse than my father-in-law, though they have strikingly similar views. For my father-in-law, it seems to be a part of his subconscious treatment of folks, which he views as playful teasing but is really all about reinforcing his value system quite sternly with everyone he knows -- I am able to forgive and see his better nature because I know his intention is good, to try to "support" you to take the action he feels will lead to the most noble/highly recognized/praiseworthy life and value system (again a very linear thing for others that he hasn't bothered to check whether you feel the same about, and if you ever voice that, he will make fun of you openly.) I forgive him because I feel the goodness in his intentions despite it all, and I love him for it. My mother-in-law is much worse, though she views herself as more "proper" than her husband. She is a devoted mother to my husband and quite an upstanding woman in her own life but strongly berates her in-laws in the most subtle ways that everyone "should" feel alright about because it stays within the bonds of "socially proper limits" (which is only socially proper to an ESTJ who's more blind than most.) Our family events are full of her constant criticisms of everyone she knows. Everyone but her children are treated as secondary creatures while she constantly subjects the rest of us to her own vision of our weaknesses and failures. She has made it clear she feels we are all too docile, thoughtless, irresponsible -- though we are also upstanding people, we are just different than she is and she can't take that. She is a bulldozer. She attacks me regularly, simply for being an introvert because she feels anyone deserving respect should have a wide variety of very outwardly social/well respected/"upstanding" friends and be able to socialize quite easily and charmingly. We have a much different notion of charm. My husband, an ESTP, is softer, though he can be stern and unyielding but has a soft core underneath. His difficulty appears to be letting his guard down to listen to analytical thinking, but he is willing and that makes all the difference. I think the important thing here, and what is hard to get along with for other types, is forcing your views on others. With the ESTJs I know, they approach it as providing "innocent" comments and humor (always at other's expense), while others are floored by their opinions of how everyone else leads lead their lives, thinks, and behaves. Needless to stay, that comes off poorly to people who are proud of who they are and find themselves constantly berated simply for not being an "E." If I treated the ESTJs I know the same way they treat me, they would be appalled. I love several ESs who are friends of mine because I know their intentions are good. It is when they aren't and an E is suspicious of you or dislikes your approach that you can bet anyone with an N or F in their profile is going to pick up on that immediately and be quite hurt, continually, until you reach a point where you know you will never be able to trust them again. It gets in the way of close friendships with those of other types than themselves.