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  1. #1
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Default INFP and ESFJ commonalities?

    This could also extend to intp and estj.


    Anyway, I tend to have a lot of esfj's in my life, (that could be because there are a lot of esfj's in general.) They used to befuddle me. (Things like taking hundreds of pictures to preserve memories, always considering the group even when it logically doesn't make sense.)

    As I get older, I find this Ne/Si thing in the middle makes for a really nice balance, and they tend to be really interesting. I like to discuss and analyze the same stuff, (F being focused on some of the fuzzy, ethical, and human aspect of things). Plus doing some kind of a review of what's normal vs. drawing a variety of conclusions and making each other think about things.)

    I wish I could think of a specific example.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
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    by sns.

  2. #2
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I like SJs a whole lot, actually....Many of my very good friends of mine are SJs of one form or another. I like the fact that many of them are no-nonsense, I can count on them, I know where I stand. I don't know if this is because they are SJs or just rock as people (not sure it matters).

    There is a part of me that respects and longs for security, while another part of me pulls away from it. I appreciate the fact that they embody a mentality I strive for but can't seem to master. In other words, I have something to learn from them. The possibility of personal development in some of my weaker areas that seem to be their preferences draws me towards them.

    Contrary to what a lot of crazy profiles like to depict, many SJs I know have very "classical" smarts/brains. They usually have a great deal of knowledge and info, and I love talking to them because they just seem so ***knowledgable*** in a way I positively envy (not in a bad way). Take my ISFJ best friend (okay, not E, but no matter) - she's a genius, literally, and she challenges me mentally. Through hard work and determination, she has achieved SO MUCH, and she is SO SMART - and I really, really, admire her because she is my role model in many ways. And yet, she's just a warm, friendly, kind person, not flaunting her OMG intelligence around, just doing her thing.

    In addition, as opposed to many profiles, SJs are not "stodgy" in my opinion *at all* - many are quite unconventional or quirky in ways that are interesting.... And the ones I know also have dreams and aspirations to do great things, and achieve them, which I really admire. My ISFJ best friend loves all sorts of unconventional things that one may consider "nerdy" or "geeky," but I just think is cool. In some ways, I was more conventional than she was.

    So I'm like !!!! Sometimes I have SJ-envy. :-P

    Don't know if this helps.

  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Hmm, SJ's can be smart, yes of course. This isn't really a smart vs. dumb thread though. Or "poor SJ's, let's talk about why we love them." (Wouldn't have mentioned it but I just want to make that clear, not the idea of this thread.) However, if non infp's/esfj's want to post, could be fine too. (estp's sharing those middle functions Ti/Fe with an entp for instance.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    I like SJs a whole lot, actually....Many of my very good friends of mine are SJs of one form or another. I like the fact that many of them are no-nonsense, I can count on them, I know where I stand. I don't know if this is because they are SJs or just rock as people (not sure it matters).

    There is a part of me that respects and longs for security, while another part of me pulls away from it. I appreciate the fact that they embody a mentality I strive for but can't seem to master. In other words, I have something to learn from them. The possibility of personal development in some of my weaker areas that seem to be their preferences draws me towards them.

    Contrary to what a lot of crazy profiles like to depict, many SJs I know have very "classical" smarts/brains. They usually have a great deal of knowledge and info, and I love talking to them because they just seem so ***knowledgable*** in a way I positively envy (not in a bad way). Take my ISFJ best friend (okay, not E, but no matter) - she's a genius, literally, and she challenges me mentally. Through hard work and determination, she has achieved SO MUCH, and she is SO SMART - and I really, really, admire her because she is my role model in many ways. And yet, she's just a warm, friendly, kind person, not flaunting her OMG intelligence around, just doing her thing.

    In addition, as opposed to many profiles, SJs are not "stodgy" in my opinion *at all* - many are quite unconventional or quirky in ways that are interesting.... And the ones I know also have dreams and aspirations to do great things, and achieve them, which I really admire. My ISFJ best friend loves all sorts of unconventional things that one may consider "nerdy" or "geeky," but I just think is cool. In some ways, I was more conventional than she was.

    So I'm like !!!! Sometimes I have SJ-envy. :-P

    Don't know if this helps.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  4. #4
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Okay, okay, sorry if I didn't stay on topic.

    I can imagine that the opposite strengths component would play a role. Both feelers from different perspectives. Probably would be conducive to some sort of positive dynamic.

  5. #5
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    It's completely fine, (I'm the off topic queen), just don't want this to be like one of those "we like SJ's even though they are so different from the entire typec population!" thread as much as like some kind of a common function sharing thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Okay, okay, sorry if I didn't stay on topic.

    I can imagine that the opposite strengths component would play a role. Both feelers from different perspectives. Probably would be conducive to some sort of positive dynamic.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  6. #6
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Nope, that wasn't my intention, actually - sorry if it sounded that way. I thought maybe it could extend to ISFJ ENFP but maybe not.

  7. #7
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Linguist View Post
    Nope, that wasn't my intention, actually - sorry if it sounded that way. I thought maybe it could extend to ISFJ ENFP but maybe not.
    oh, okay, : D yes, of course.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  8. #8
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    They're rather similar in being both F-dominant and have that Si/Ne thing going in the middle. There are often INFPs who are quite Si heavy and ESFJs who are Ne heavy. The big difference would be that between introverted and extraverted feeling, which can be sort of similar by both being feeling but can sometimes be like night and day.

  9. #9
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    I definitely feel a strong common ground with ESFJs, but this is all that comes to mind right now.

    Above anything else about ESFJs, I get frustrated with their tendency to unconsciously adopt the values of others without taking the time to think critically about what they imply, or how they fit into their value system as a whole. But, like most healthy INFPs, they're extremely receptive to criticism of their beliefs; ESFJs, at least, just need an outside voice telling them to dig deeper. INFPs are so geared towards reflecting on beliefs/values (Fi) that this comes more naturally. Seems like this kind of open-mindedness* is Ne-related. Not sure how the shared Si manifests (in a meaningful way), though.

    INFPs also share middle functions with INTPs, right? I don't know any so I can't make comparisons, but they'd be interesting to hear.

    *relative, I'm not saying that all INFPs and ESFJs are shining examples of this trait, just what I've noticed.

  10. #10
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    This could also extend to intp and estj.
    I have one ESTJ that I'm very close to and another one that I have a good bit in common with. I have a lot of respect for both of them and don't get ruffled (much) from their Te ways.
    INFPs also share middle functions with INTPs, right? I don't know any so I can't make comparisons, but they'd be interesting to hear.
    Yesh, we do. I can get frustrated dealing with them but hey hell, that could be anybody, not just an INFP. I personally found out that it can get really nasty when we get really stressed and start speaking from inferior Fe and Te...woo. For the most part, I tend to find them easy to relate to, a lot of overlapping similarities and quite marvelous to be around.

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