This is why INTJs end up being very individualistic, as a rule.
Oh, and here's how I can tell that an "INTJ" is really an INFJ: they try to explain ME to MYSELF, as if they know more about me than I do. An INTJ would just tell me I'm an idiot and leave it at that.
The "strings" as you put it are there or not there. They aren't amenable to change, but you can navigate them more readily if you're in a "feeling" mode.However soon I will be back in the fluff. And I am scared that one day I may never come out of it again. It seems a cruel fate of mind to be trapped within the social obligations of the groups around you, knowing that the only truth in such a state is the one that they set for you.
Why do I feel inclined towards caring and niceities? Surely it would improve mine and others lives more if I could stop a moment and try to change the strings that pull at us? Or at the very least...point them out. Truely that would display more caring to those around me than blind pleasantries.
The trick to dealing with it all is to be aware of the obligations, and simultaneously be aware that all such obligations are artificial. Think in terms of cause and effect, and then choose whether to honor any particular "obligation", being aware of the costs and consequences of complying or refusing.
The main thing I resent from that sort of Fe-obligation mentality is that it's kind of like "giving" me a car, and then telling me that I "owe" them $35,000 for the favor of the gift. That sort of thinking is so alien to me that it simply doesn't work on me. What usually happens, of course, is that I just get the Fe-ish "doorslam" because I either am unaware of such "obligations" or explicitly deny them. Interestingly, the "doorslam" suits most INTJs just fine.