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  1. #1
    Junior Member rainbowasabi's Avatar
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    Default Do INTJ's feel appreciated?

    If an INTJ feels under-appreciated, does it mean that they're being misunderstood (even though people think that they know well enough about them) or that people just don't know well enough about them or people just don't want to know well enough about them? :|

  2. #2
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    It could be any of those. It also could be because they haven't done anything to be appreciated for or they could fail to show that they appreciate the other person doing the unappreciating.

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  3. #3
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    I think we also do not always respond to the standard modes of appreciation people offer. In other words, it takes something different for us to register appreciation.
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  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Appreciation, to me, is the person finding whatever I did useful and impactful. Sometimes it's simply a genuine 'thank you', especially if they are quick to point out what it is they appreciated about whatever it was I did.

    In a work setting, if I have that, the $$ and other benefits will follow. I want to be paid well, no doubt, but money's a secondary recognition factor. I think that's one way in which we may be misunderstood- our motivations. My former boss would try 'motivate' me by bigging up my peers, telling me to look to them as examples of what success is. I'm not competitive, since it's my individual standard of success that matters. Plus, If they were the standard of success, then no thanks.

    We just finished the busy season here at work, and it was hell. We got collective 'thanks' from the big wigs, which I feel were kind of fake. I would rather hear in what way I (and the others) contributed to the group success. If you can't individualize it, it's not real.

  5. #5
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I remember thanking my good friend (INTJ) for helping me to feel better about something. She said that kind of a compliment means a lot to her, because she already knows she is smart and efficient and good at problem solving, etc etc, but for something feeling-related, that is harder, and to hear something positive from someone else about an area where she doesn't naturally feel as confident is much more meaningful. This is when we were 20 or so.

  6. #6
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    Socially I dont think any "TJ" types feel appreciated much because there is too much preference for feelings and understanding and not enough for results or reliability.

    Professionally I definitely feel appreciated because I get things done efficiently without fanfare.

  7. #7
    Junior Member NathanZ's Avatar
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    I get enough appreciation when I'm told I've done a good job, but get embarrased or annoyed when people start to gush, even a little bit. It often comes off as forced or disingenuous.

    That being said, I do need to feel like what I'm doing at work has value, it's just that results satisfy me more than kudos.

    A question: What kind of appreciation are you looking for, and is that the appreciation you give out already?

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