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Nicki

Retired
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Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
What sort of people would what be?

Sort of like training smart, stubborn, somewhat dominant dogs, except you can have entire conversations with them. You have to win their respect and not let them get by with too much until they recognize that you are the leader and then you have to try not to be stupid and lose the respect while they are still your legal responsibility. Gee I'm such a peach of a mom, lol.

One of them is raised and the other is almost sixteen and they are pleasant and comfortable company. They are generally reliable and very low-drama, which is sometimes a nice break from dealing with my XXFP, let me tell ya. :laugh:

I apologize, that was a vague question.

However, if I was told *not* to do something, I DID NOT DO IT. Even if I disagreed with the prohibition. Even if I thought it was stupid. If the person had a legitimate right (in my mind) to tell me not to do something, I obeyed.

Haha that's how I would say I was like as a child. I can't listen to anyone if things don't make sense or aren't effective even if it would result in more harmonious relationships. Lol :D

That sounds pretty nice. Haha, how's your FP like?
 

cafe

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That sounds pretty nice. Haha, how's your FP like?
She is sweet, kind, a defender of the defenseless. She is volatile, vicious, and unreasonable. She is unstoppable until she stubs her toe or somebody looks at her funny. Then she is a crying, hyperventilating mess. There is way too much person to fit into her tiny, adorable body and sometimes it's a bit of a strain on us all.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Resistance, I don't believe rests purely on the child's type, but the adult's parenting style.
 

Nicki

Retired
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Messages
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She is sweet, kind, a defender of the defenseless. She is volatile, vicious, and unreasonable. She is unstoppable until she stubs her toe or somebody looks at her funny. Then she is a crying, hyperventilating mess. There is way too much person to fit into her tiny, adorable body and sometimes it's a bit of a strain on us all.

She seems like a passionate child. How old is she?
 

cafe

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She seems like a passionate child. How old is she?
Seventeen. She has always had strong feelings about things from the time she was a tiny baby and got upset if anybody but me was holding her.
 

Nicki

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Seventeen. She has always had strong feelings about things from the time she was a tiny baby and got upset if anybody but me was holding her.

She sounds rather adorable lol How did you deal with those emotions?
 

cafe

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She sounds rather adorable lol How did you deal with those emotions?

We tended to escalate each other emotionally until I decided that she probably wasn't feeling the same way I would be feeling if I was acting the way she was acting. She's just much more expressive than I am. Once I figured that out and didn't allow myself to become so distressed we were both happier. I still have to get some distance from her sometimes because she kind of bleeds emotion a lot, but as long as she gets enough sleep we do okay most of the time.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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There weren't many things I resisted on, but when I did, I was pretty much immovable.
 

Nicki

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We tended to escalate each other emotionally until I decided that she probably wasn't feeling the same way I would be feeling if I was acting the way she was acting. She's just much more expressive than I am. Once I figured that out and didn't allow myself to become so distressed we were both happier. I still have to get some distance from her sometimes because she kind of bleeds emotion a lot, but as long as she gets enough sleep we do okay most of the time.

Does she ever have outbursts in public? I apologize if I seem like I'm being condescending, I'm very curious about these sort of things. That sounds good.
 

cafe

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Does she ever have outbursts in public? I apologize if I seem like I'm being condescending, I'm very curious about these sort of things. That sounds good.
She has panic attacks and/or bursts into tears sometimes. She also sometimes angrily lectures people regardless of their position and occasionally strikes or kicks her peers if she disapproves of their behavior.

You would think this would cause problems for her at school, but it doesn't seem to. People have always been drawn to her and liked her. I've been kind of mystified by it since she was a baby and people wouldn't believe me when I said she had an awful temper.
 

Nicki

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Messages
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She has panic attacks and/or bursts into tears sometimes. She also sometimes angrily lectures people regardless of their position and occasionally strikes or kicks her peers if she disapproves of their behavior.

You would think this would cause problems for her at school, but it doesn't seem to. People have always been drawn to her and liked her. I've been kind of mystified by it since she was a baby and people wouldn't believe me when I said she had an awful temper.

Do you just let her express them or...? That sounds really nice for her. Haha, FPs are just too darn lovable.
 

cafe

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Do you just let her express them or...? That sounds really nice for her. Haha, FPs are just too darn lovable.
I don't have a lot of control over what she does at school. Seriously, I don't hear from teachers about anything she does unless I bring it up. I know about it because she told me or her friends have told me. If she hits or kicks somebody it is usually somebody the teachers have been wanting to punch in the face for a long time. I think they are too busy silently cheering to punish her.

An example: in middle school she was getting off the bus one morning when she saw a student teasing an autistic kid with a laser pointer, telling him to go get it like he was some kind of dog or cat. My daughter rushed off the bus, ran straight for the kid with the laser pointer and kicked him in the shin. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. She just ran at him like a guided missile and handed his ass to him. She didn't try to hide it. Probably a handful of adults saw her do it. They just thought the kid had it coming so they let it go.

At home, if she does that stuff, she's doing it to people that I love as much as I love her and I know they aren't jerks. I know she can be mean, so I am not so tolerant of it. I have told her brother to hit her back if she hits him, just not in the face or at least tell me about it. I'm not okay with it and someday she's going to hit the wrong person and they aren't going to think she's cute.

If she flips out at home, I send her to her room. She usually only gets like that when I'm around if she's got sensory overload or she needs to sleep. Usually any public setting that would distress her also distresses me and most of our family, so we just go someplace quiet until we can cope again or we leave.
 

Nicki

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I don't have a lot of control over what she does at school. Seriously, I don't hear from teachers about anything she does unless I bring it up. I know about it because she told me or her friends have told me. If she hits or kicks somebody it is usually somebody the teachers have been wanting to punch in the face for a long time. I think they are too busy silently cheering to punish her.

An example: in middle school she was getting off the bus one morning when she saw a student teasing an autistic kid with a laser pointer, telling him to go get it like he was some kind of dog or cat. My daughter rushed off the bus, ran straight for the kid with the laser pointer and kicked him in the shin. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. She just ran at him like a guided missile and handed his ass to him. She didn't try to hide it. Probably a handful of adults saw her do it. They just thought the kid had it coming so they let it go.

At home, if she does that stuff, she's doing it to people that I love as much as I love her and I know they aren't jerks. I know she can be mean, so I am not so tolerant of it. I have told her brother to hit her back if she hits him, just not in the face or at least tell me about it. I'm not okay with it and someday she's going to hit the wrong person and they aren't going to think she's cute.

If she flips out at home, I send her to her room. She usually only gets like that when I'm around if she's got sensory overload or she needs to sleep. Usually any public setting that would distress her also distresses me and most of our family, so we just go someplace quiet until we can cope again or we leave.

Ah, I see.

That's so emotionally impulsive but it's so sweet that she has a well developed moral compass and it isn't scared of bullies.

Oh okay, do you ever tell her to control her emotions better?

What kind of public setting?
 

cafe

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Ah, I see.

That's so emotionally impulsive but it's so sweet that she has a well developed moral compass and it isn't scared of bullies.

Oh okay, do you ever tell her to control her emotions better?

What kind of public setting?
I only tell her to control her temper better. That is generally the only emotion she expresses that causes problems for other people. Emotions, IMO, are morally neutral and exist on their own terms. Nothing wrong with expressing them as long as doing so doesn't interfere with the well-being of others.

Our family tends to be homebodies. We go to restaurants and stores, but often the kids prefer to stay at home and kill each other on TF2.

Occasionally we go to a movie or to church. Crowds, loud sounds, strong negative emotions, etc tend to bother all of us, so we generally avoid them if we can.
 

Poki

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Despite all the ISTP stereotype crap I didnt resist much, I generally didnt care enough to resist much.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I only tell her to control her temper better. That is generally the only emotion she expresses that causes problems for other people. Emotions, IMO, are morally neutral and exist on their own terms. Nothing wrong with expressing them as long as doing so doesn't interfere with the well-being of others.

Our family tends to be homebodies. We go to restaurants and stores, but often the kids prefer to stay at home and kill each other on TF2.

Occasionally we go to a movie or to church. Crowds, loud sounds, strong negative emotions, etc tend to bother all of us, so we generally avoid them if we can.

Oh okay, I see. That's nice of you to do.

Lol I understand completely.

Yeah, same here.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
That's the subject to which you resist according to your thoughts. So you are right, but that is obvious. :huh:

If this is true, then it does not matter which type will more likely resist. If it depends on the parenting style technically none of them would have to resist, or be able to as the parent could alter their techniques and nullify any sort of rebellion.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
The assumption here is that the parent is telling the kid to do something, most likely what he doesn't want to do or doesn't know why to do, etc..

And my solution is to shift parenting techniques.
 
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