The Te-Fi stuff in this thread has been pretty interesting. I've noticed a lot of how both users develop IRL as my sister is an ESTJ and I'm a INFP. After a lot of conflict over the years, I think we are both growing to respect each other's leading function and to see the purpose in it. It's just so fascinating to compare the way we are developing our own inferior functions - it makes our interactions that much more interesting and productive.
To answer the questions (Fi dom, Te inferior):
One way it does this is through constant critique of my views and behaviour. It's often like a drill sergeant in my internal dialogue; it is very black and white in its reasoning and angry, uncompromising, brutally blunt in its approach. I feel like I have to answer to it; either I must force myself to accept and obey its demands (eg. be strong or 'realistic') or I must find satisfactory counter-arguments so I can silence it. This doesn't mean I don't sometimes ignore that voice, but when I do, I beat myself up a bit. To give an example about how it works: say I'm writing a post about some debated issue; when I go about that, I'm not just consulting my feelings/beliefs (Fi), I'm also trying to deflect and cover my ass against anticipated Te objections to those beliefs. So Te informs a lot of the way I frame and express Fi.
Of course there's more to it than that but that's the most noticeable aspect.
Being judgemental, critical and unforgiving at times towards others and myselfWhat personal issues do you relate to it
Losing my temper
Being perfectionistic/anal about certain things being right or exact
Empathy shut-down (ie. deliberately refusing to listen to, understand, or accept mitigating circumstances) - this only happens in extreme circumstances
I also feel like its the part of me that tells me I'm crap at things and a loser. It's that part that says success and worth can only be measured in external achievement. I don't believe that myself, but sometimes it can start to eat away at me.
(BTW no offence TJs. I think all this is very poor usage of the function.)
While I think taking a look at yourself, recognising your flaws and seeking to improve them is part of this, I feel like a lot of the development just comes with age. Over time I've come to accept that that drill sergeant as a part of myself rather than see it as a separate self in opposition to me, and this has reduced the struggle aspect. So increasingly, when those Te-qualities come out, more often they are in my own voice and not from the drill sergeant - it's a willing belief rather than begrudging acceptance of someone else's. Of course my brand of Te isn't like that drill sergeant's; it's softer and more palatable to my own taste.what have you done to better integrate your use and expression of this function?
I'm still working on it, but I think there has been genuine personal improvement.How successful have you been?
I stand up for myself more often, and when I do, I feel that I communicate my position with greater clarity, rather than simply stubbornly refusing to comply.
It has taught me to draw a line in the sand more often. This isn't necessarily about conflict but more about owning what I feel and believe. There has to be a point where you choose a position, at least for your own benefit (althought I still don't consider it necessary to always openly express it). It's a bit lame to link to myself but I wrote about this with regards to art appreciation in my blog a while back and it's a good example of this.
I also think it has helped me to reconcile my idealism with the (inevitable) resulting disillusionment. It's the part of me that says, "shit happens": things can't work out perfectly 100% of the time so learn to accept the imperfect model. It doesn't mean I stop reaching for the ideal solutions, it just means that I look for the best possible fit rather than expecting a flawless one. It helps reduce the amount of agonising I can go through when trying to make sense of a lose-lose situation.