Effect of Bullying/Isolation/Minor Emotional Trauma on Extraverts

[Chiharu]

tl;dr : just read the bolded portions

My theory: extroverts who are victims of bullying, who suffer forced isolation/exclusion, and who are coping with emotional baggage may mistype as introverts. What do you think?

Evidence: Nothing "scientific", just my own observations/person anecdotes (go Ne!). My father was an interesting individual. It's a long story, but he kept my family rather isolated and prevented us from forming close relationships with outsiders. We also moved around a lot. Both my brother and I were raised more adultly and grew accustomed to entertaining ourselves. I'm an ENFP and while I cannot be certain of my older brother's type, I'm guessing he's an ENTP. Neither of us fit in well at school (being the new kid sucks) until late middle school/early high school.

He became very rebellious during high school, embracing newfound friends, questioning my father, and became bitter and reactive. He was still very surprised when father revealed all of his lies and left my family. after that, he withdrew from his many friends and now has few close ones.

I was a typical Ne child, full of energy and ideas and playing pretend. I was loud and friendly, despite my learned caution. Note, I am a 4, so I remember feeling very ashamed from a young age, but it did not hamper my natural enthusiasm. Very 4w3, then. My Fi came on strong soon after, 'round 7 maybe, and that's when I started getting causes. I am an ENFP. No doubt about it, Te-bitchslap from 13 onward. But from age 8 up, I was bullied and excluded. My home life interfered with preserving connections as I switched to different schools in the same area, and I failed to make friends and satisfy my need for social connections. After my dad left, I moved to a better school, and made friends, but it felt like relearning how to swim, terribly awkward. Even now, when I move to a new place, my default setting is LONER. I act really cold and prickly.

Why it matters: If you mistype as an introvert, and the rest of the description seems kosher, you'll ignore your need to belong even more, especially for xxFPs, who are chameleons anyway.

Not sure where I was going with this, but it's the beginning of the start of an idea.

 

[EJCC]

I wonder if it's that you become a lot more in touch with your shadow self when you're down/upset/stressed/etc -- and in the case of extroverts, the shadow function is an introverted one.

I've had some sad/mildly traumatic moments in my childhood that shaped who I am today*, and generally they shaped me by putting me in touch with my Fi; if something bad happened, I'd immerse myself in my bad feelings and analyze the hell out of them in the hopes that analysis would help get rid of it (which I've heard is a fairly Fi way of dealing with trauma). As a result, I'm a much more introspective and ambiverted adult.


*Not exclusion or bullying, but lots of fairly serious friend issues -- significantly less traumatic than the OP, but enough to give me a few lingering complexes/neuroses

 

[Halla74]

This is a very situational question.
It could lead to a period of the extrovert being withdrawn, or it could lead to outright violent rage.
It could lead to a period of resentment that results in vengenace of some kind.
Regardless, no human being should have to suffer any of the phenomena mentioned in the OP.



-Halla74

 

[Kierva]

I wouldn't be a cold and alculating asshole if it weren't for my mother.

Edit: its also why I mistyped as an introvert at first.

 

[Grublet]

I'm definitely extroverted but I don't have many chances to be so.
[MENTION=11928]Vetani[/MENTION] where did you go on skype?

 

[Amargith]

tl;dr : just read the bolded portions

My theory: extroverts who are victims of bullying, who suffer forced isolation/exclusion, and who are coping with emotional baggage may mistype as introverts. What do you think?

Evidence: Nothing "scientific", just my own observations/person anecdotes (go Ne!). My father was an interesting individual. It's a long story, but he kept my family rather isolated and prevented us from forming close relationships with outsiders. We also moved around a lot. Both my brother and I were raised more adultly and grew accustomed to entertaining ourselves. I'm an ENFP and while I cannot be certain of my older brother's type, I'm guessing he's an ENTP. Neither of us fit in well at school (being the new kid sucks) until late middle school/early high school.

He became very rebellious during high school, embracing newfound friends, questioning my father, and became bitter and reactive. He was still very surprised when father revealed all of his lies and left my family. after that, he withdrew from his many friends and now has few close ones.

I was a typical Ne child, full of energy and ideas and playing pretend. I was loud and friendly, despite my learned caution. Note, I am a 4, so I remember feeling very ashamed from a young age, but it did not hamper my natural enthusiasm. Very 4w3, then. My Fi came on strong soon after, 'round 7 maybe, and that's when I started getting causes. I am an ENFP. No doubt about it, Te-bitchslap from 13 onward. But from age 8 up, I was bullied and excluded. My home life interfered with preserving connections as I switched to different schools in the same area, and I failed to make friends and satisfy my need for social connections. After my dad left, I moved to a better school, and made friends, but it felt like relearning how to swim, terribly awkward. Even now, when I move to a new place, my default setting is LONER. I act really cold and prickly.

Why it matters: If you mistype as an introvert, and the rest of the description seems kosher, you'll ignore your need to belong even more, especially for xxFPs, who are chameleons anyway.

Not sure where I was going with this, but it's the beginning of the start of an idea.

Sounds about right.

I was bullied for most of my childhood, and while I craved connections, I feared them even more due to the backlash it got me. It taught me to significantly reign in Ne to not offend/burden others and be an attention whore, which of course led to rebellion and and overdose of that behavior at certain moments. To this day, however, people are amazed at how much I can go from brooding, distant, and being a loner, to bouncing of the walls and engaging *everyone*. I prefer being alone these days, and not engaging people too much (the internet is a sweet spot smack down in the middle of this), as it allows me to not have to worry about overwhelming them, burdening them and consequently, the guilt I feel when I do 'force' myself onto others like that.

While my function order suggests Ne-dom, my Fi rivals my Ne in strength for a reason. When I do step outside and manage to reign in my Ne, to engage others, I'll do a make shift Fe-attempt.