Is it an Fi-user thing to cut people slack for, say, doing something wrong with good intentions?
I see this so much from FJs. Although I've definitely seen something kind of similar in my INTP dad? He'll try and deal with an interpersonal conflict at work, then come home and summarize the whole emotional roller-coaster in a few sentences -- but as if he had no agency in the matter. That's part of why I ended up using the word "martyr" -- it ends up sounding, to outsiders, like you've already given up, like everything is beyond your control and the world sucks but there's nothing you can do about it. I've heard this exact style of thing from both my INTP dad and my INFJ mom and the only differences are 1) frequency of delivery (i.e. my mom talks about that sort of thing way more often), and 2) style of delivery (my dad gives it in the dry Ti monotone).Fe users have a tendancy towards two downfalls. One is expecting that other people are thinking about balancing the feelings/inconvenience of all involved. They may feel there is one self-evident way that this should be accomplished, and also expect others to go to the same lengths that they do to take the feelings and wishes of others into account. Instead of voicing their concerns as they go, or making a direct request, they sometimes wait until they are frustrated and resentful already (often because of overaccommodating, sometimes even in ways that can be irritating or not appreciated by the other party!), which then can be perceived as them acting like a martyr when they don't need to.
Interesting. So essentially, Fe users do with personal analyses and judgments, what Te users do with facts and impersonal opinions?They also have a tendency (as with Te to Ti ears) to state their perceptions of the situation in terms that seem very definite and irrevocable to Fi ears, when in fact they are not. The fact is, like with Te ways of piecing together knowledge, they are more trying things on for size to see what sticks and what doesn't. New information may result in reconfiguring the information they are working with. To other Fe users, I think this is tacitly understood, and so doesn't come off as nearly so harsh and judgemental. Similarly, I often assume that Te statements are meant as a final conclusion, when in reality they are only meant as a working hypothesis and that seems so obvious to the Te user that they would feel strange about stating that out loud.
It makes perfect sense. I think it was what I was expecting; I knew what I'd been seeing for most of my life, but didn't necessarily know what the motivations were behind it.Hence, in some ways, EJCC, I don't necessarily agree with your perceptions about what Fe behaviour may mean (eg martyr complex etc) because I think you are missing some of the mindset and other information that gives it context. However, I think that you are right about some of your observations of differences between Fe and Fi behaviour. Does that make sense?