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  1. #11
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I think the main difference is that Fe will have this need to make you understand what you did wrong and change your behavior. To me, Fi seems to seek to express itself without so much focus on getting you to change.

    Fe: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    Fi: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  2. #12
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    for me it's usually: i just simply can't understand your perspective because i can't get over myself.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #13
    Let me count the ways Betty Blue's Avatar
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    Yah, i generally non confrontational and will take time to think things through, i may even come to the wrong conclusions at first but i'm pretty good at getting to the root of any issues quickly even if i veer off the path several times in the process.

    I will look at how i feel about something and then look at the why, and then battle that, i suppose with Te.

    In moments where i feel my values are threatened and i am cornered all bets are off and you can see me quickly change from 'sweet and understanding' to 'dodge the flying plate'...this is rare though.
    "We knew he was someone who had a tragic flaw, that's where his greatness came from"

  4. #14
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I think the main difference is that Fe will have this need to make you understand what you did wrong and change your behavior. To me, Fi seems to seek to express itself without so much focus on getting you to change.

    Fe: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    Fi: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    I can see how this would make sense.

  5. #15
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I think Fi/IF types seem more to think feeling violations are personal violations whereas Fe/EF types see feeling violations as violations of relationship. I think Te/ET types tend to see feelings violations as violations of honor. I think Ti/IT types tend to see feeling violations as violations of justice.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  6. #16
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    I think the main difference is that Fe will have this need to make you understand what you did wrong and change your behavior. To me, Fi seems to seek to express itself without so much focus on getting you to change.

    Fe: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    Fi: I am mad at you because you did X and Y and Z and these are bad things.
    There's a lot of truth in this. From all the Fe people in my life (including most of my family), there tends to be a huge focus on the wrongdoer and exactly what the wrong was. A lot of bitching about the wrong, after it was done. A lot of frustration aimed at the wrong. Sometimes a bit of a martyr complex-- but always defining "martyr" based on the actions that brought you to martyrdom.

    Whereas from my experience -- don't know about other Fi users, because Fi-users are generally pretty private about this topic -- there's a lot more soul-searching and focusing on the feeling itself. Obviously yes, I'm focused on the wrong that was done, but I'm also very used to being detached from the feelings behind events and just looking at the events, so the Te part of my brain is still looking down from afar and saying "This exact event could have happened a different way, and you wouldn't have been freaking out. So why are you freaking out?" And then I try to find the source of the feeling, and deal with it. Like @Qlip said, Te wants to make it right, to keep wallowing to a minimum.

    This is why, when I've really been wronged, and I'm really hurt, I won't want to talk about it right away. I haven't sorted through all the feelings yet, so I can't start talking about it like Fe-users can, as if they're already certain about how to feel, who to attribute blame to, and why. I'll need to find a quiet place where I can sit and think, first, and form some conclusions, and then I'll be ready to talk.

    Edit:
    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    I will look at how i feel about something and then look at the why, and then battle that, i suppose with Te.
    ^ Exactly!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  7. #17
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    I think Fi/IF types seem more to think feeling violations are personal violations whereas Fe/EF types see feeling violations as violations of relationship. I think Te/ET types tend to see feelings violations as violations of honor. I think Ti/IT types tend to see feeling violations as violations of justice.
    I think there's truth in this.

    Interesting. I identify with Fe much more, but also with EJCC's post. I could talk about my feelings, it would just be rambling I wouldn't want to burden others with. And it takes me awhile to completely figure them out. So Fe probably. But I do a lot of Te stuff, almost obsessively (or is that Fe?). What would the Ti response be then? I can see in/justice as the feeling response from Ti-Fe, but how would they go about solving problems? I think an Fi dom/aux would focus on making the feelings right along with taking steps to solve the problem; Te-Fi would put priority the other way around, Fe-Ti would focus on wrongdoing and analyzing the wrongdoer, but I don't really know how Ti fits in otherwise. Maybe Ti doesn't solve people problems. haha Or they just try to find out what is logical in a situation? But that would depend on circumstances, Fe stuff, and then they would have to find out how to transfer this idealized logical response to the real world.

    A bit off topic maybe, but it's the natural progression.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think fe like te is more apt to summarize and make blanket statements...like you are a bitch...where fi...like ti is more precise...meaning we would be more inclined to say you are being a bitch.

    we will attack the behavior instead of the whole of a person.

    but yes te comes in to tell you all about it....after we've gotten clear about it in private...and it comes out very matter of fact informative style...we're not appealing to your emotions...we're not trying to persuade you to feel one way or another

    but we intend to inform you on the "wrongs" as we see them.

    that felt jumbled...sorry if it didn't make sense.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelenOfTroy View Post
    Yah, i generally non confrontational and will take time to think things through, i may even come to the wrong conclusions at first but i'm pretty good at getting to the root of any issues quickly even if i veer off the path several times in the process.

    I will look at how i feel about something and then look at the why, and then battle that, i suppose with Te.

    In moments where i feel my values are threatened and i am cornered all bets are off and you can see me quickly change from 'sweet and understanding' to 'dodge the flying plate'...this is rare though.
    yeah raw fi is a bitch...my saying i can't talk to you right now really is the best thing for both of us..
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #20
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think fe like te is more apt to summarize and make blanket statements...like you are a bitch...where fi...like ti is more precise...meaning we would be more inclined to say you are being a bitch.

    we will attack the behavior instead of the whole of a person.

    but yes te comes in to tell you all about it....after we've gotten clear about it in private...and it comes out very matter of fact informative style...we're not appealing to your emotions...we're not trying to persuade you to feel one way or another

    but we intend to inform you on the "wrongs" as we see them.

    that felt jumbled...sorry if it didn't make sense.
    No, that makes sense. I don't easily see the Fi/Ti perspective yet, though. Like Je wants to generalize and see the big picture of the problem, and Ji wants to focus on the details and being thorough? Breadth versus depth?

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