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Thread: Fe put-downs

  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    What struck me as very weird was how invalidating the Fe heavy school felt-like the individuality of the children was totally discarded. Instead of "you are a special beautiful little star and filled with potential to do anything you put your mind to, but you do need to follow the rules" (Fi validation, Te affirmation, Te rule setting), "
    To me this comes across as blah, blah, blah...I am trying to be protected and this is nothing more then "fluff". "You need to follow the rules" isnt Te rule setting. But again, I am not Fi so while I see that this stuff bothers Fi and this is how you comfort Fi, it comes across completely different for me. So for me this would be worded differently and "beautiful little star" wouldnt ever come out of my mouth.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    the message was "You are no more special than anyone else and dont get special treatment, but we are all in this togehter, let's all be friends together and respect each other and be civil to others by behaving in the same way" (Ti devalidation???/Fe affirmation/Fe behavioral setting)
    the "lets all be friends" crap rubs me the wrong way as well. "Lets be civil and respect each other". is good. This isnt Fe. Fe says this is how things are done and lays it out. Lets be civil and respectful isnt telling you what you actually need to do.


    For me everything starts out with what happend, followed by a discussion of the situation and then for things like school..."you need to follow the rules" or people.."you need to respect other people" Rules apply to everyone, respect is individual.


    I am gonna stay out of Fi validation and Ti devaluation because both Fi and Ti do the same thing, just in different ways. Fi is blind to what it does and calls it "being who you are and your individual star" when it comes to devaluation. Just as Ti can be.
    Im out, its been fun

  2. #72
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    Fe put down....My ex made the comment..."I didnt ask to be your mom". My comeback..."or your dads mom, or your friends mom...you know what...no one asks you to be there mom, you just have this need to tell people how they should run there life. Thats why your dad doesnt even tell when he buys something, because he is tired of your lip"
    Im out, its been fun

  3. #73
    can't handcuff the wind Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by _Poki_ View Post
    To me this comes across as blah, blah, blah...I am trying to be protected and this is nothing more then "fluff". "You need to follow the rules" isnt Te rule setting. But again, I am not Fi so while I see that this stuff bothers F and this is how you comfort Fi, it comes across completely different for me. So for me this would be worded differently and "beautiful little star" wouldnt ever come out of my mouth.
    Yeah, I agree with this in that 'beautiful little star' is (unfortunately) likely going to go in one ear and out the other. I agree with the premise of the 'beautiful little star' precept- that ideally education SHOULD make kids tap into their inner beautiful little star- but it's put in a language that isn't palatable to the Fe school system borg. I'd word it differently to make things more palatable, to try to explain how what I immediately want IS in fact part of the 'education' goal that benefits everyone.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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    Quote Originally Posted by _Poki_ View Post
    Fe put down....My ex made the comment..."I didnt ask to be your mom". My comeback..."or your dads mom, or your friends mom...you know what...no one asks you to be there mom, you just have this need to tell people how they should run there life. Thats why your dad doesnt even tell when he buys something, because he is tired of your lip"
    and when it got bad my next response would have been..."thats one of the reasons I divorced your ass, I wasnt looking for a mom." Those are Ti put downs.
    Im out, its been fun

  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    What I have noticed though, is that it seems to be an Fe user thing. For instance, I don't ever see many Fi users doing it, except on some occasions I may see ESFP's doing it. I have never seen one ENFP or an INTJ do this in my entire life.
    Please explain the anomaly here.

  6. #76
    Senior Member ms.behaving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Is that was happens when an ENFJ goes totally bonkers and posts 15 flaming posts on your facebook wall in ten minutes because they dont agree with your political values? She had always been very nice in the past and I adore her and family-but the things she said were so inflammatory and venemous....they were such personal attacks just out of the blue. I figured it meant she must hate me now to say such things.
    I'd like to believe Fe has a little more self-control and discretion than that. And frankly, I don't want to be the one to throw Fe in a box, or throw it to the wind, or feed it to the wolves. I personally do not do the "cause a scene" public attacks on people. If we are in a more private setting, I can get pretty passionate, it's true. I have a strict personal policy of not stabbing friends or family in the back. I will confront them.
    - MB

  7. #77
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ms.behaving View Post
    I'd like to believe Fe has a little more self-control and discretion than that. And frankly, I don't want to be the one to throw Fe in a box, or throw it to the wind, or feed it to the wolves. I personally do not do the "cause a scene" public attacks on people. If we are in a more private setting, I can get pretty passionate, it's true. I have a strict personal policy of not stabbing friends or family in the back. I will confront them.
    I'm not saying you have, but I've known other ENFJs to do exactly this: they will "cause a scene" in public to get their point across by namely trying to shame the other person. I've always considered this an extreme example of Fe gone awry. Not every Fe user does this, but the one's who do have gone to the dark side with it.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  8. #78
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    Personally I only have one major experience with what you refer to as a 'Fe put-down' it basically consists of a ENFP guy that consciously made straw-man arguments as well as circulars ones against me in order to please the crowd, quite humiliating. Interruptions is another tool of this particular flavor of asinine.

    One or two years later when I found myself located in a position to replay the favor. I committed to it fully, and relentlessly.

    Having a near to perfect memory regarding such events can be both a curse and a blessing, insects trapped in amber.

    In this particular case I made myself into god inside this sphere of a perfect moment. Orgasmically I felt a surge of Dumas-esque energy surge through my spine as I witnessed the utter destruction of my enemy.

    Other events can not possibly equal to that one, as is why better referred to as attempted 'Fe put-downs', most of which are as easily flipped on themselves as a contorting spastic limb.

    This tug of war has no winners, well it does but it's by marginal. The judge being the drooling troglodyte audience observing amber harden.

    That says enough about the actual context of the issue at hand, it's no bigger issue than your pride makes it out to be.

  9. #79
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I'm not saying you have, but I've known other ENFJs to do exactly this: they will "cause a scene" in public to get their point across by namely trying to shame the other person. I've always considered this an extreme example of Fe gone awry. Not every Fe user does this, but the one's who do have gone to the dark side with it.
    I've experienced a VERY unhealthy ENFJ doing this^ very thing-- to me, as well as his friends, & his enemies. It's breaking a person down through sensationalized, excessive shame.. it's.. well, pathetic & retarded. Unfortunately, if it's done to someone in such a way that it plays on that individual's deepest insecurities- AND it happens to be someone that the person has placed a lot of emotional trust in- then it can be quite damaging. It's an ugly thing to watch, and really consider, especially as a fellow Fe user. I could never do that to someone. It sickens me.
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  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I'm not saying you have, but I've known other ENFJs to do exactly this: they will "cause a scene" in public to get their point across by namely trying to shame the other person. I've always considered this an extreme example of Fe gone awry. Not every Fe user does this, but the one's who do have gone to the dark side with it.
    I know stress isn't pretty on Fe. I've learned when Fe becomes a maniac, it would mean a lot if you would just say, "I'm sorry." Or say something that indicates you care about what happened.
    - MB

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