I'm not saying you have, but I've known other ENFJs to do exactly this: they will "cause a scene" in public to get their point across by namely trying to shame the other person. I've always considered this an extreme example of Fe gone awry. Not every Fe user does this, but the one's who do have gone to the dark side with it.
Here's a good example of "shit side of Fe"
Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.
If anyone can find this, please link it. Or, I will if I'm not too lazy.
Here's one of the quotes. Everything Fidelia said in the thread was excellent.
Originally Posted by fidelia
I don't think you are hating on Fe. I find these kind of threads really interesting because I like to know what things look like from an outsider's perspective. If it's any comfort, one thing I've found is that the more the person is willing to take responsibility for their part in what went wrong, the more comfort that the Fe person is prepared to offer. Their lecturing is not an attempt to make you feel even more terrible than you already do, but rather is them being afraid that you don't understand where things went off the rails. Once they know that you know that, then they are going to focus on how to make you feel better. Again, it's not so much a matter of attributing blame (which to me seems kind of pointless after the fact), but rather trying to change the outcome for next time by figuring out where things fell apart and how it could be changed for next time.
I realized as I was reading through here that both 21% and I feel much better (and more closure) when we have a problem with someone if we can both agree on what happened and why and then come up with a course of action to avoid it the next time. Then the uncomfortable feelings dissipate on their own. Without doing this, it feels like the situation is just left hanging and unresolved and the same thing could blow up again without warning. What I'm hearing from the Fi side is that their sense of closure is provided by being able to explore the feeling side of things first (in a safe environment) or have time to work it out on their own and then the course of action to take naturally becomes apparent. Maybe Fe and Fi start with the opposite ends of the problem.
In the same way, Te wants to take action first and then discuss from there, while Ti wants the whole system figured out before embarking on any course of action. In that case, I don't like embarking on a course of action until I can see where it is going to end up and if it makes sense as a whole, rather than improvising as I go. Is there a correlate from a Fe/Fi perspective?
"I trust what you are doing though…I just see it a little differently.
I don’t see it as you stepping away from the fire. I see it as the fire directing your course.
No matter how airy or earthy or watery you become... to many of us you will always be...a super nova."
"Behind these gates of seeming warmth sits, loosely chained, a fierce attack dog. Perhaps not crazy, but dangerous"