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  1. #1
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Default What's it like being ni dom?

    i'm curious. i can sort of grasp it as a support function...but it's hard to comprehend it as a driving force.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  2. #2
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    There are a few things that come to mind:
    1. Intuition drives your decision making. It's filtered through logic (for an INTJ), but the intuition always comes first. You get a vague sense that some thing is true or there is some direction to go for example.
    2. You have a tendency to want to accumulate a tremendous about of information and then synthesize that into some direction or conclusion.
    3. It can be hard to explain your thinking and rationale for things especially when you are young.

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  3. #3
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Hmm. I think it's kind of hard to see how you use your dominant function because it's so much a part of you that you aren't even aware how you are influenced by it.

    For me, Ni is a way of gathering information to then be sorted and systematized by Ti. I think Ni makes it easier for me to not be judgemental right away, as there are so many possibilities for understanding something accurately that it requires some question asking and observation before I can really come to any meaningful conclusions.

    Ni offers an overall vision of what could be. I've found that Ni doms are very facinated by what will be the result of certain actions or catalysts. Ni uses a lot of observation and searching for patterns. As a function, I think it is pretty future oriented.

    In INTJs, this is applied in a different way than in INFJs. INFJs seem particularly interested in the result of actions as it applies to human systems. I think Ni is a function that looks for patterns to better understand what it sees and to narrow down a wealth of possibilities for reasons why someone might do something, what the result may be, if the behaviour is consistent, what the other variables in the situation are etc.

    Over time, this structure of past observations becomes a kind of framework for predicting the likelihood of various outcomes in the future. This is a time-consuming process (part of the reason why INFJs sometimes stay in relationships until they have hard evidence that they have exhausted the many various options that could yield a different outcome and until they have observed particularly behavioural patterns emerging and decided what they mean and then in altered any other variables they can before making a hard and fast decision against someone they have trusted in the past).

    I am occasional wrong about my predictions, but more often than not I am right. It is terribly distressing to see someone I care about or an organization I am invested in making decisions that clearly are going to take them to an unwanted destination and yet they can't see it until there is absolute proof of it.

    In a creative sense, I find Ni frustrating. I have a hazy impression of what a piece of art or writing could look like in the distance and how amazing it can be, but as I try to reproduce it, I am always disappointed by the result. It's only a shadow of what I pictured and yet I can't see the model in my mind in enough detail to do better - just gotten an impression of it. I used to find it really hard as a kid to even muck up a piece of paper trying to draw something. It wasn't that I didn't understand I needed more practice. It was just that I didn't know how to get what I could see in my head to be reflected somehow on the paper. Different than not just being disappointed that my person looked funny (technical problem). More that it didn't give me even a hint of the feeling of what I saw in my head.

    That's not it, but maybe a jumping off point to start from.

  4. #4
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Oh yeah - for me decision making happens through gathering information, but when the answer isn't immediately clear, it has to sit awhile. Then suddenly it seems to emerge. Unfortunately, I can't tell exactly when that will be and the more complicated it is, the longer it takes. Ni offers so many options and then options within the options that I almost find it comfortaing when there are some restrictions put on the situation or something to pare down the choices slightly.

    Similarly, I find that when I have conflict with someone, I need to talk to them to clarify how I feel (Fe) and also to reduce the options in my mind for whether I'm seeing things correctly, what their part in it is, how they feel about it and so on. Then after going away to process a bit, a whole other set of millions of possibilities pops up for me and I have to go back and reconsult the person. To some this feels like nitpicking or being unforgiving, but I really need their help to lay all those things to rest. If I don't have a chance to resolve those questions, it takes a much longer time for me to work through it all and move on. If the situation is left unresolved and it's a really big deal, or if it seems hopeless that anything in the dynamic will change, sometimes I need to just reduce the options (cut contact for awhile or distance myself) until I can step back a bit emotionally and the answer for how I should interact with the person or whether I should becomes clearer. I don't see INTJs engaging in this kind of behaviour at all, but I think that INFJs are a bit prone to it.

  5. #5
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Totally identify with #1 (although the filter is slightly different) and #2 of highlander's and to some extent #3, particularly with people who are not also ni users.

    I don't know if this is Ni or not, but I find it almost impossible not to start mentally "moving furniture" around in my head when I see an event, organization, relationship etc that seems like there are other options that really ought to be explored that would optimize everything that's already there much more efficiently.

  6. #6
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post

    I am occasional wrong about my predictions, but more often than not I am right. It is terribly distressing to see someone I care about or an organization I am invested in making decisions that clearly are going to take them to an unwanted destination and yet they can't see it until there is absolute proof of it.
    I have this problem. When I was a child I had great confidence in myself and couldn't figure out why people were making dumb decisions, so I'd tell them they were wrong, and the problem was, they usually were, so it reinforced this, and no one likes a know-it-all. Then I matured and learned you can't predict the future, so I became too accepting of others' POV. A lot of others don't have strong intrapersonal intelligence, and I should've trusted my gut to know they were misreading themselves. Now I'm just at the phase where I'm learning that I don't have to explain myself to people when I don't buy their largely unfounded BS, and I'm learning that by being stronger at predicting outcomes, assessing risk, and navigating that space, it's not a shot at them, it's simply a strength of mine. They're probably better at lots of other things than I am, but I'm good at envisioning the domino fallout.

    But yeah, "distressing" is an appropriate adjective. It's tough to sit on your hands and bite your tongue after you've spoken up once and they aren't going to listen. I have no idea how to use this energy more productively. That's a maturity I haven't developed yet.
    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Oh yeah - for me decision making happens through gathering information, but when the answer isn't immediately clear, it has to sit awhile. Then suddenly it seems to emerge. Unfortunately, I can't tell exactly when that will be and the more complicated it is, the longer it takes. Ni offers so many options and then options within the options that I almost find it comfortaing when there are some restrictions put on the situation or something to pare down the choices slightly.

    Similarly, I find that when I have conflict with someone, I need to talk to them to clarify how I feel (Fe) and also to reduce the options in my mind for whether I'm seeing things correctly, what their part in it is, how they feel about it and so on. Then after going away to process a bit, a whole other set of millions of possibilities pops up for me and I have to go back and reconsult the person. To some this feels like nitpicking or being unforgiving, but I really need their help to lay all those things to rest. If I don't have a chance to resolve those questions, it takes a much longer time for me to work through it all and move on. If the situation is left unresolved and it's a really big deal, or if it seems hopeless that anything in the dynamic will change, sometimes I need to just reduce the options (cut contact for awhile or distance myself) until I can step back a bit emotionally and the answer for how I should interact with the person or whether I should becomes clearer. I don't see INTJs engaging in this kind of behaviour at all, but I think that INFJs are a bit prone to it.
    I absolutely have this problem, FWIW. It also might be more gendered that females are taught/expected to defer.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
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  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    would you say that intjs can pinpoint someone elses train of thought easily and that infjs can intuit someones intentions or emotional objective?

    like...socially...do you find that you can get in synch with others easily...because you can intuit where they're coming from?

    do you and did you when you were younger feel a bit psychic?

    is your main focus on filling in the details of that hazy in the distance impression? wait...maybe that doesn't make sense.

    but....does it feel like a calm laser focus? i mean...do you have that head in the clouds feeling? or is it more...calm centered sitting a top a mountain feeling haha

    i mean...my impression is that you guys are like the all knowing oracle...haha
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    It really was a revelation to me that Ni people do see some things differently that others truly don't see. I remember encountering a thread complaining about Ni people seeming impatient that others couldn't understand what they were explaining, yet they didn't offer sufficient details for them to do so. It occurred to me when I was reading it that it maybe just doesn't occur to them that not everyone sees what seems really obvious to them (as far envisioning the domino effect) and they would feel they were being insulting by explaining it.

    It's sort of like not realizing someone is colourblind and therefore not understanding that you may need to tell the person what colour something is. It is assumed that other people experience all the colours as we do and if those people aren't aware that they are colourblind, they can't ask someone to describe red etc.

    I'm not suggesting I have some kind of superpowers, but it honestly never occured to me that some of those "facts" about how things will turn out isn't all that clear to everyone and so I can't be hurt or upset at them for not getting something that matters to me or seeing something the wya I do.

  9. #9
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I don't think I'm any kind of an oracle, nor do I identify with the whole psychic impression. My interpersonal focus is usually in collecting all the information I possibly can to make sense of what makes the people I meet tick. I find people fascinating.

    One of my friends once laughed about me needing to get people figured out so that I could categorize them. I said that it was more a way of sorting them and making sense of them in a way that I could understand. It was not for the purposes of judging them, but rather figuring out how to appropriately relate to them or predict what kind of a relationship we would have to each other and how they are interconnected as well.

    I would liken it to filing important information in folders and finding some order to put them away in so that they can be found when needed. However, like files, they can always be added to as new information comes to light. Without that, it feels like the mental equivalent of just piles of papers here, there and everywhere!

    I find it fun to see how much information I can collect to get a complete, 3D picture of someone. Perhaps this is why I like teaching. You not only have to figure out what is going on academically, but interpersonally, emotionally, mentally, and mentally. Then there is also getting to know about the child's interests/friends/social circle/strengths/weaknesses/how they spend their time after school/who they are related to and so on. All of those pieces of information give context to their behaviour and make it easier to predict what where they may run into problems and where they will do well. I'm not interested in people in the abstract, but I am interested in figuring out specific people and then seeing how what I can do can change the outcome of where the natural course of events would take them.

    I can sense tension in the air, when I've lost someone's attention, or how different people hitch with one another fairly easily (I think that's Ni and Fe working together). I can generate lots of possibilities for people acting as they do, but really need to interact with them to accurately figure out motives or intents or really even what is truly going on.

    In the absence of any possibility of truly finding out, I can't developing some kind of working hypothesis to go on. I'm open to changing it, but I can't stand not knowing. This is especially true when I am emotionally involved with someone but they won't talk about what is going on. I'm often inaccurate about their real motivations, but if they'd be willing to fill in the information for me, it wouldn't be necessary for me to make extrapolations based on my own methods of processing instead of theirs!

    I'm pretty good at putting myself in someone else's shoes and looking at a situation from several different angles. It would not be until I had a lot of really solid information that I can point to before I would feel comfortable making definite statements about how things are or ought to be in any given situation involving people I don't know really, really well.

    I think that ENFJs are even better at accurately predicting someone's emotional objectives or intentions than INFJs. I don't know enough INTJs personally to comment on their strengths relating to Ni.

  10. #10
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    it's just that i relate to so much of what you're saying tho...i'm trying to grasp how it feels...the key difference i guess.

    do you feel like your preference is ni but you ne things out a bit too if you need to? i mean is that just how it works?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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