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DAMN IT! I WANT TO HEAR FE USERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FE!

Poki

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yeah i feel the same...and this does just read...human. like...it's not in any way about any functions.

so...what the hell does it mean?? that emotions are very much separate from values? are they? are they for me? i can't tell now...

Thats just being F. In person they are much different.
 

Lady_X

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Not even little, I just read, blah, blah, blah...words. Sounds more like bickering then anything.

I mean I guess that shouldn't be surprising. I occupy that space so I can feel it but I guess it makes sense someone else wouldn't just as I don't other "places" people speak from.
 

Poki

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I mean I guess that shouldn't be surprising. I occupy that space so I can feel it but I guess it makes sense someone else wouldn't just as I don't other "places" people speak from.

If I care about the person then I will feel for them, but not really based on what they say, just knowing they are having a hard time.
 

Lady_X

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If I care about the person then I will feel for them, but not really based on what they say, just knowing they are having a hard time.

So in a general way?? Not in a I'm hearing and relating to your words way?
 

Poki

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So in a general way?? Not in a I'm hearing and relating to your words way?

Its in a personal way, I honestly dont really care to much about the people involved because I dont know them. I know that sounds bad, but in my eyes its caring about the person involved and not internalizing the topic at hand.
 

Lady_X

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Its in a personal way, I honestly dont really care to much about the people involved because I dont know them. I know that sounds bad, but in my eyes its caring about the person involved and not internalizing the topic at hand.

So in a very personal way you feel the hurt your loved one is feeling and you feel sympathy towards them but as far as understanding the reason it's upsetting isn't as important??

Please understand I'm not saying this is less than or not good enough or anything else just trying to get it... Like how it feels for you.
 

Poki

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So in a very personal way you feel the hurt your loved one is feeling and you feel sympathy towards them but as far as understanding the reason it's upsetting isn't as important??

Please understand I'm not saying this is less than or not good enough or anything else just trying to get it... Like how it feels for you.

No offense taken...I dont have to take personal offense to the topic at hand to get upset. I just feel there pain because its how they feel it. Everyone has there own things that bother them and I can sympathize without personally agreeing that its something that I think is painful. Understanding the reason is important because it helps you understand the person, not as a way to connect with the person. This leads to being able to better care for the person for who they are as opposed to who you are.
 

greenfairy

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Whaat?? Are ya serious? This sounds like you read up on fe first.. If its for real thi is awesome and crazy and super interesting to me. I hope more people will write stuff.

Thanks for this!

Haha cool. :) You can ask me anything you want. What sounds hard to believe? I don't remember which I read first, but I've read a lot about both of them. (I started contrasting the two trying to figure out if I was INFP or INTP, and it swayed my decision.) It's hard to know the fine distinctions only in theory. So I too am interested in how real people experience their functions.
 

greenfairy

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I see my feelings as only an indicator that something needs to be done. In and of themselves, they are not that useful to me, because I realize they may shift with new information or time or my mood etc. When I talk to other people about my feelings, it is mostly to do a quick check that I'm not missing some kind of information that is really important or that I'm not way off base (kind of like quickly checking yourself in the mirror before you go out somewhere) and also so that I can discharge the excess emotion that is keeping me from finding some kind of usable solution. That is why having a person who will listen and ask clarifying questions without either getting overly emotional themselves or offering advice is invaluable to me.

This is true for me as well, especially the bolded. For a long time I was very emotionally repressed. I could handle anger, because that felt like I was doing something productive. So then the other emotion I could feel was frustration, that my efforts to solve my problems weren't working. Now I'm exploring my feeling side, and it's cool. :) I still take a problem solving strategy to my life though.
 

greenfairy

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I don't even think of Fe as "feelings" or "emotions" per se. They might be related to Fe, but I see Fe as more of a group values system. Emotion doesn't really come from others, that's more internal and can often be misleading or unknown... aka suspect.

Fi (to me) seems far more connected to feelings and emotions, but I don't know how accurate that is. I remember one INFP talking about "feeling tones" and it was such an alien concept I still don't understand it.

Yeah I don't quite understand this either. I experience stuff kind of like this with intuition, like getting a vibe on something, or an association, or a picture in my head, or colors...
 

Lady_X

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well yeah that's it...imagine a feeling is a sort of an internal ambiance...varying in weight and temperature...or imagine the different shades of blue...and it's just one...and the one that it is is very important and very specific and to say blue is not saying much at all.
 

Seymour

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Yeah I don't quite understand this either. I experience stuff kind of like this with intuition, like getting a vibe on something, or an association, or a picture in my head, or colors...

So, imagine that you are hyper-aware of your emotional state as a multilayered mix of different emotions. Therefore, any given stimulus causes a shift in emotional state, towards an emotional state evoked by the stimulus in question. At the extreme end of awareness, it's a bit like emotional kinesthesia (although in reality, everyone is reacting emotionally to everything all the time... they are just mostly unaware of it).

So, for example, when I was young, each toy has an associated set of feelings associated with it. One toy might evoke a sense of sadness and loss, another might evoke a sense of defiance and bravery. Still, each toy had it's own "emotional signature" associated with it, and that assignment of emotional signatures extended to people and often other inanimate objects.

As I've gotten older, that sense has faded somewhat, although I still remain very aware of my emotional state, moment to moment. That "emotional signature" is what I think "feeling tones" is trying to capture.

(Others may have a different interpretation, though, and I'm happy to hear others who disagree.)
 

Lady_X

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ha go go fi power!! funny we both said...so imagine....
 

Lady_X

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What!? Omg!? I am so confused! Wtf are you talking about poki?
 

greenfairy

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well yeah that's it...imagine a feeling is a sort of an internal ambiance...varying in weight and temperature...or imagine the different shades of blue...and it's just one...and the one that it is is very important and very specific and to say blue is not saying much at all.
So, imagine that you are hyper-aware of your emotional state as a multilayered mix of different emotions. Therefore, any given stimulus causes a shift in emotional state, towards an emotional state evoked by the stimulus in question. At the extreme end of awareness, it's a bit like emotional kinesthesia (although in reality, everyone is reacting emotionally to everything all the time... they are just mostly unaware of it).

So, for example, when I was young, each toy has an associated set of feelings associated with it. One toy might evoke a sense of sadness and loss, another might evoke a sense of defiance and bravery. Still, each toy had it's own "emotional signature" associated with it, and that assignment of emotional signatures extended to people and often other inanimate objects.

As I've gotten older, that sense has faded somewhat, although I still remain very aware of my emotional state, moment to moment. That "emotional signature" is what I think "feeling tones" is trying to capture.

(Others may have a different interpretation, though, and I'm happy to hear others who disagree.)

That's fascinating! I probably do this and I'm only really aware of it through my intuition. Like maybe everyone does and they are aware of it either through Fi, Si, Ni, or Ne? And each function processes it a bit differently. Otherwise it sounds very different than anything I've experienced.

Yeah I associate a vague gut feeling with things sometimes, along with physical feelings and colors and little images of memories. I'm never hyper aware of it though, except in an Ne or Si type of way. I have to first be aware of either my physical reaction or an inner state of vague ugly-colored disharmony (usually both), and then actively look at it and go into my unconscious to have a dialogue with myself and use analysis to discern what my feelings are, how many of them I have, why they're there, etc. Is this at all something Fi users do, or is it an inferior Fe- shadow Fi thing?
 

Lady_X

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It's like jumping into a pool and feeling the temperature and trying to then explain that exact temperature to someone else.

That's why it's hard. Because its as if you can't know unless you feel it in exactly this way.

It's fucking weird tho I mean wth
 

greenfairy

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I think Fe has more to do with my perceptions and the resulting actions than it does with my feelings. It's not so much that I even care that much about Group Values, as I do in making sure that the outcome of the group interaction works for as many people as possible while still retaining realness. To me that sometimes means doing things that you aren't inclined to doing as long as it is not dangerous or immoral. I do find myself annoyed when people draw attention to themselves and their own wishes/moods/likes/dislikes because it seems immature to me. I may be missing information to put that into a better context, but my initial reaction is that it's self-centred.

I agree with this. Although when I do feel disharmony I feel like drawing attention to it, and then I end up telling myself I'm being immature. In my experience my feelings do tend to be immature. But that's inferior and shadow functions for you...
 
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