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DAMN IT! I WANT TO HEAR FE USERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FE!

Lady_X

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i disagree. i think one chooses to act based on what they value and prioritize.
 
W

WALMART

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Fe, tonight.

I was 'tipsy', my black friend was 'drunker'.

a girl and her boyfriend walked up to us while we learning against a table and proceeded to talk to us in a drunken manner. the two assailants had been sucking face all night, probably a dullant to the nature that is alcohol.


she called my friend names and proceed to antagonize him, her initial threat were of us being young. my friend's retort, after minutes of ridicule and antagonizing, was that she was old.

all the while, i managed to remain neutral (likely because I was caucasian, my friend and I decided). i was able to talk my friend down into retreat, to seek other establishment. he reluctantly agreed.


previously in the night, we played with players so drunk they drunk dirty water from the cups of balls our team had relinquished. yes, we were playing beer pong, yes it was in a bar, and yes if you wanted to get technical our victims were drinking dirty water from the drunken disestablishmentism.





I don't know, somewhere in there there's Fe, on a weird scale.
 

KDude

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Fe, tonight.

I was 'tipsy', my black friend was 'drunker'.

a girl and her boyfriend walked up to us while we learning against a table and proceeded to talk to us in a drunken manner. the two assailants had been sucking face all night, probably a dullant to the nature that is alcohol.


she called my friend names and proceed to antagonize him, her initial threat were of us being young. my friend's retort, after minutes of ridicule and antagonizing, was that she was old.

all the while, i managed to remain neutral (likely because I was caucasian, my friend and I decided). i was able to talk my friend down into retreat, to seek other establishment. he reluctantly agreed.


previously in the night, we played with players so drunk they drunk dirty water from the cups of balls our team had relinquished. yes, we were playing beer pong, yes it was in a bar, and yes if you wanted to get technical our victims were drinking dirty water from the drunken disestablishmentism.





I don't know, somewhere in there there's Fe, on a weird scale.

I bet she was a stripper. And not necessarily his girlfriend. They're always talking shit for no reason. She probably dug your friend. You all could've taken her out back, if you wanted.

Or not.
 

SubtleFighter

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This thread's getting a little wobbly, but here's my two cents about Fe/Fi anyway.

I agree with a lot of what [MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION] is saying. But I also am becoming more and more convinced that I'm a little skewed by growing up in a household that's much more Fi than Fe. For instance, when I'm trying to comfort someone, I'll ask them questions, but I also will often start talking about myself and how I've felt what they are feeling to try to affirm them. It was surprising to me when I came on this site to realize that a lot of Fe-users find this weird. There are other little things too that I don't know how to describe. I think this is my Fe anyway, though, adapting to the emotional situation at hand (growing up in an Fi-environment).

But one thing that it took me awhile to realize is that when Fi-users say things like "I like that/I don't like that," it's not just some random whim feeling that they're expressing, but it's a judgment about how they see the world based on a complex system.

I agree with all the Fe-users so far who've said that their feelings are less used to judge things than an Fi-users' are. I see my feelings as just one piece of information but not at all the main source of my information. A lot of times I feel like emotions can be divided into "pain/bad" and "pleasure/good." So my goal is to have as much good emotions and as little bad emotions as I can. This is how I try to regulate my emotions. I also try to help other people out with this too by trying to help them eliminate their bad emotions. I've had to learn that some people (Fi-users) don't appreciate this because they see even bad emotions as having a value. But this is how I come at things initially.

About when others are in pain and whether or not it's authentic if you try to sympathize with them even if you don't see how they're in pain, I see this as having different definitions of authenticity. Fi-users feel that it's authentic to only tell someone you feel sorry for them if you can see why they're upset. For Fe-users, it's more like if you show compassion for them being upset even if you can't see why they are, you're being authentic in your concern for them. To me, if I tell someone I'm sorry they're in pain and try to help them with it, but I don't understand it, it's like saying to them, "I genuinely care about you, and that's why I'm here for you in sympathizing."

I could say more, but I'll see how this thread continues.
 

Elusivity

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Having been raised by an ISFJ in an Fe-heavy culture, it often surprises me to realize just how much I rely on Fe to navigate the social world. A tool, an unspoken set of rules that govern politeness, relationships, etc.

This interchange by text happened the other day:

Fi person: I want more Elusivity in my life.

Me, using Fe, automatically attached all kinds of social meanings to this. Obviously, this is an invitation to set up a meeting. I proceed on this assumption.

Fi person: Well, that was just a thought I had at the time and wanted to let you know. I'll plan something soon!

=__=

It's very interesting to hear Fi perspective about being authentic to the self and one's own emotions. However, I can't live life that way. While I have feelings, they're like low-level background noise, and most of the time easily over-ridden by thoughts and logic. Fe, then, becomes the obvious path.
 

Lady_X

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That's what I mean by what motivates you.

I am who I am because of how I define myself. What I deem important etc. and I act accordingly.

I would say my motivations are very much fi based... But that's fi for ya everything feels like tht haha
 

Such Irony

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I agree with all the Fe-users so far who've said that their feelings are less used to judge things than an Fi-users' are. I see my feelings as just one piece of information but not at all the main source of my information.

I think this sounds like something T types do. I'm not sure if its really different for TJ (Fi users) vs. TP (Fe users).

A lot of times I feel like emotions can be divided into "pain/bad" and "pleasure/good." So my goal is to have as much good emotions and as little bad emotions as I can. This is how I try to regulate my emotions. I also try to help other people out with this too by trying to help them eliminate their bad emotions. I've had to learn that some people (Fi-users) don't appreciate this because they see even bad emotions as having a value. But this is how I come at things initially.

This is exactly how my emotional system works too. I also have a tendency to use a good/bad divde with my emotions with avoiding the bad as much as possible. I understand that there can be some value or even some good in bad emotions but it's not the natural way I operate.
 

Lady_X

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so fe users do you feel emotionally attached to your values?

do you get that pain sensation when someone upsets a fe value?

maybe that's a dumb question...i'm just wondering if you're reacting to a fe value or a ti principle...or something i hope someone knows what i mean because i'm not sure i do. :/
 

KDude

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I think this sounds like something T types do. I'm not sure if its really different for TJ (Fi users) vs. TP (Fe users).



This is exactly how my emotional system works too. I also have a tendency to use a good/bad divde with my emotions with avoiding the bad as much as possible. I understand that there can be some value or even some good in bad emotions but it's not the natural way I operate.

I know about "bad" from Fe.. from people pounding into my head and finger wagging about it. And at this point, I've personified it as a sort of looming presence "somewhere" outside. It's kind of like the monkey from Family Guy. But internally I'm like "What did I do? Damnit..." And I have ways of rationalizing it, but I know it's to no avail sometimes. So I might succumb, just to save time and trouble.
 

Lady_X

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i don't think i understand that [MENTION=9214]KDude[/MENTION]. what is your function order?
 

SubtleFighter

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I think this sounds like something T types do. I'm not sure if its really different for TJ (Fi users) vs. TP (Fe users).

I'm sure I use my emotions more than Thinkers generally do. What I meant was that Fi-users seem to use feelings as some kind of complex detection system for understanding the world, whereas Fe-users don't use them in quite the same way.
 

KDude

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i don't think i understand that [MENTION=9214]KDude[/MENTION]. what is your function order?

Well, I'm wondering if it's tertiary Fe. I've seen some ITPs here who laugh in the face of all disapproval. They truly don't give a shit what others think. I do.
 

Lady_X

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Well, I'm wondering if it's tertiary Fe. I've seen some ITPs here who laugh in the face of all disapproval. They truly don't give a shit what others think. I do.

okay so maybe estp??
 

Such Irony

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so fe users do you feel emotionally attached to your values?

do you get that pain sensation when someone upsets a fe value?

It has happened a few times. Both with Fe values and Ti principles.


Well, I'm wondering if it's tertiary Fe. I've seen some ITPs here who laugh in the face of all disapproval. They truly don't give a shit what others think. I do.

I worry way too much what others think of me, to the point of seriously thinking I've mistyped myself. I think inferior Fe manifests in different ways for different people. Some compensate with an I don't give a damn attitude and some go in the opposite direction. Because our Fe is weaker but we are still Fe users, we don't always read others peoples' feelings as well as someone who is higher up on Fe does and since we're not sure, we worry about it and expect a worst case scenario. At least that's what happens with me.
 

Fidelia

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so fe users do you feel emotionally attached to your values?

do you get that pain sensation when someone upsets a fe value?

maybe that's a dumb question...i'm just wondering if you're reacting to a fe value or a ti principle...or something i hope someone knows what i mean because i'm not sure i do. :/

I don't think I get a pain sensation when someone upsets a fe value. I might react to someone acting in a way that I perceive as drawing attention to oneself/taking a course of action in a way that affects others negatively or when someone acts inconsiderate, but not really feel pain. I would feel more on the offensive than the defensive and the emphasis usually would be placed on whether it was reasonable for me to feel that way, and if so, what the appropriate action to take would be. It would really depend on a complex mix of factors - whether the person was doing something intentionally or not, whether this was a longstanding pattern, whether they were aware of how they were impacting other people, the severity of what they were doing, how disruptive it is and to how many/which people etc.

I think more pain would be felt for me if I shared an idea about something complex I had been thinking out that I was very invested in, or even about someone/something that held significance for me and someone whose opinion mattered to me was disinterested/scornful of it. That would be much more likely to wound me in some way.
 

KDude

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okay so maybe estp??

I'd rather not say that. Lets just say I view Fe on TP spectrum. What I was saying above is that I kind of know when to weigh my words sometimes.. What makes you look like a shithead and what simply makes you look uncool (maybe that's partly Se too). When I kind of want to push in that territory, I think twice.. I start thinking of the Fe information, how it would look to others. It kind of stinks sometimes, but I know it's for the better. It might even play out in a post like this one. I might compose my words and take time to write. it's not streaming straight from some "inner voice". I'm trying to communicate effectively. I don't put a lot of effort in like maybe EFJs come off more inviting than many people, or an INFJ spins their words together in a poetic fashion.. but I try not to look like an ass. For other people's sake and mine. If that's ETP, so be it.
 

Lady_X

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It has happened a few times. Both with Fe values and Ti principles.



I worry way too much what others think of me, to the point of seriously thinking I've mistyped myself. I think inferior Fe manifests in different ways for different people. Some compensate with an I don't give a damn attitude and some go in the opposite direction. Because our Fe is weaker but we are still Fe users, we don't always read others peoples' feelings as well as someone who is higher up on Fe does and since we're not sure, we worry about it and expect a worst case scenario. At least that's what happens with me.


my brother in law has been really hard to type. i mean...he seems highly sensitive and emotional...but in a sort of emotionally immature way.

i've kind of decided he's an intp.
 

KDude

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I worry way too much what others think of me, to the point of seriously thinking I've mistyped myself. I think inferior Fe manifests in different ways for different people. Some compensate with an I don't give a damn attitude and some go in the opposite direction. Because our Fe is weaker but we are still Fe users, we don't always read others peoples' feelings as well as someone who is higher up on Fe does and since we're not sure, we worry about it and expect a worst case scenario. At least that's what happens with me.

Yeah, Jung said wrote they interpret Fe negatively.. that is, their own relation to it negatively. How they go about it is another thing.
 

Such Irony

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my brother in law has been really hard to type. i mean...he seems highly sensitive and emotional...but in a sort of emotionally immature way.

i've kind of decided he's an intp.

I try to hide being highly sensitive and emotional, except for with people close to me and on a forum like this. When my sensitive and emotional side does show up, it can be rather immature or at least childlike.
 
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