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DAMN IT! I WANT TO HEAR FE USERS TALK ABOUT THEIR FE!

KDude

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The problem is that Fi demands authenticity to connect. How can you connect with someone if you truly do not see their pov? If you cannot understand where they are coming from, faking that you do is blasphemy in the eyes of Fi. That isnt a real connection, as honesty has left the building. Admitting that the connection isnt what it should be is bound to create more of a connection, than faking it till you make it..at least, for a Fi-user. At least then you know there is something to work on, more work to be done before you can get a genuine connection and fully grasp what the other person is about.

I don't think I need to make a connection really. Maybe a connection to someone else could help. Someone could twist my arm and say just "be nice". And then I look at the situation and bite my tongue. Maybe I even reassess and look at the person and think "poor bastard..." and I help. But I don't need a deeper connection. I might even do something to help and grumble at the same time. If they say thanks, I'm still a little pissed. "Whatever." I mustered enough sympathy to do something, but I don't need to be buddies.

edit: I don't know. Sometimes things need to be done and the job falls on you (you in general).
 

Amargith

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Lol..yeah, you are ISTP :D

It gets lonely at the top though, hon. Even for you guys.

Nobody is forcing you to connect though. It will come to you, or not, that desire :)

Ive watched ISTPs growing into the need to be responsible though and 'protect the herd', in a very Fe way ;)
 

Poki

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Yeah I said this to poki already but you guys totally win at sympathy because I honestly don't think I have it in me to give unless I value the issue in the same way. Like I need to understand and relate to your view of it. I need to feel you were wronged in some way. I can't pretend to feel sympathetic and if you're my friend and you're hurting and you tell me about it and I come out thinking you are in some wAy at fault or over reacting. I have to tell you. I can't just feel bad for you because you're upset. I don't know how to even do that. It feels like acting.


I am in the opposite boat...caring about the topic at hand disconnects things from the actual person and is not a connection in my opinion with anyone but yourself. I dont mean this as a bad thing, but thats how it comes across. Its nothing more then having something in common with another person. When I was in martial arts I had something in common with ALOT of people, but I wasnt connected to any of them nor did I feel like I was a part of a huge thing. Like I said earlier, its not acting, its caring for the person and not usually about the topic at hand. Sometimes I even avoid the topic at hand because it drives WAY to much emotions within me. Most of the time I dont feel like I know enough about the whole situation to even judge and 99% of the time its a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding.
 

Lady_X

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but caring about the thing they care about is caring about them...to us.
 

Poki

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but caring about the thing they care about is caring about them...to us.

but if the thing they care about changes(flips sides) then you have to change what you care about to keep caring for them?
 

Lady_X

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that does not compute..
 

Haven

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ounym.gif


Kinda wanna say something, kinda don't. Fe has a lot of haters.
 

Elfboy

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ounym.gif

Kinda wanna say something, kinda don't. Fe has a lot of haters.

^you did say something relevant. this wouldn't be a factor for the Fi users, we'd say it anyway :D
 

Elfboy

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What goes through head comes out mouth :rotfl:

not necessarily, there are things that would stop us from saying something, just that "Fi has a lot of haters" would not be one of them (particularly a more confrontational ExFP or TJ. I feel more tempted to say things if I have a lot of haters, not less)
 

KDude

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not necessarily, there are things that would stop us from saying something, just that "Fi has a lot of haters" would not be one of them (particularly a more confrontational ExFP or TJ. I feel more tempted to say things if I have a lot of haters, not less)

You're either not Fi or trying too hard not to be sensitive.

It helps that you're gay though. Kind of get used to bullshit, I'm sure.
 

Elfboy

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You're either not Fi or trying too hard not to be sensitive.
It helps that you're gay though. Kind of get used to bullshit, I'm sure.
what are you talking about?
 

Lady_X

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it's hard to make sense of it when it's all so grey but...it's not that fi users are insensitive. it's just that every thing is measured and given weight and we chose what's important...it's not always more important to be sensitive...sometimes it is...sometimes the truth from our perspective seems more valuable
 

KDude

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what are you talking about?

Your need to always be :pumpyouup: and talk about how unphased you are. I think some of the things that Fi draws attention with is it's sensitivity (for better or worse). But you eshew being sensitive. All you do is promote some mix of being Gordon Gecko meets General Joan of Arc or something. You'd either have to be an autistic and very dry Te type to say you don't care about hate, or you're not being honest.
 

Lady_X

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i've noticed that in some guy enfps....it's like this ne te thing that happens and fi just takes on the form of the crusader...without any sign of fragility...it's there tho.
 

Elfboy

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Your need to always be :pumpyouup: and talk about how unphased you are. I think some of the things that Fi draws attention with is it's sensitivity. But you eshew being sensitive. All you do is promote some mix of being Gordon Gecko meets General Joan of Arc or something. You'd either have to be an autistic and very dry Te dom to say you don't care about hate, or you're not being honest.

I'll be honest, I'm probably a little insecure and frustrated at this point in my life (and this probably shows up some in my posts), but I'm not trying to promote anything. I simply enjoy confrontation and whether or not someone likes something is not a factor in whether I say it or not. I am plenty sensitive with people I care about, but not with everyone else (I've been hurt severely on multiple occasions both physically and emotionally for being too sensitive and I don't intend to repeat this mistake unless it is with someone I deem worth the risk)

I don't want to derail this thread, but I really don't appreciate this accusation of my sincerity.

[MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION]
yeah, this.
 

Totenkindly

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So the very first thing I see in the Fi thread is Elfboy describing Fi.
And the very first thing I see in the Fe thread is Elfboy and Kdude (both Fi'ers) discussing Fi issues in this thread and why Elfboy needs to tailor his Fi.

This is why I ignore Fe and Fi threads. It's all about the Fi'ers, all the time, typically, even when it's not. Churning out lots of threads about Fe and explaining/defending the position kind of runs counter to respect for / deference to others, which is what Fe is about. It's already slanted against Fe, just by the nature of the discussion.

(Sorry. That was a Ti user with minor Fe saying, "This just makes no sense / seems imbalanced, so I mostly refuse to even play the game.")
 

KDude

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I'll be honest, I'm probably a little insecure and frustrated at this point in my life (and this probably shows up some in my posts), but I'm not trying to promote anything. I simply enjoy confrontation and whether or not someone likes something is not a factor in whether I say it or not. I am plenty sensitive with people I care about, but not with everyone else (I've been hurt severely on multiple occasions both physically and emotionally for being too sensitive and I don't intend to repeat this mistake unless it is with someone I deem worth the risk)

I don't want to derail this thread, but I really don't appreciate this accusation of my sincerity.

[MENTION=5418]Lady X[/MENTION]
yeah, this.

Fair enough man. It's just confusing. I'm not out to offend your sincerity. I just don't know where you're coming from. You the person.. or an ideal. Maybe it's the same to you guys. I'll not derail the thread about this though.
 

KDude

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So the very first thing I see in the Fi thread is Elfboy describing Fi.
And the very first thing I see in the Fe thread is Elfboy and Kdude (both Fi'ers) discussing Fi issues in this thread and why Elfboy needs to tailor his Fi.

I doubt I'm Fi. I took a long time to think about it, so give me some credit. About the only thing I know about "values" is my experience with Christianity. I have "Catholic guilt" at best.

If you have a reason for it, please explain. Don't give me some bullshit like Z would and tell me my "colorful avatars are soooo ISFP" or something.
 

Lady_X

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i totally understand that position and it goes back to what fidelia said as well. that the fi user talks about personal experience to relate to and connect to the other and fe users listen to and ask more questions about you to further understand and connect so our way feels self centered. i get it and it sucks and we do need to learn how to communicate differently with fe users perhaps....it truly does not mean what you think it means tho.

So the very first thing I see in the Fi thread is Elfboy describing Fi.
And the very first thing I see in the Fe thread is Elfboy and Kdude (both Fi'ers) discussing Fi issues in this thread and why Elfboy needs to tailor his Fi.

This is why I ignore Fe and Fi threads. It's all about the Fi'ers, all the time, typically, even when it's not. Churning out lots of threads about Fe and explaining/defending the position kind of runs counter to respect for / deference to others, which is what Fe is about. It's already slanted against Fe, just by the nature of the discussion.

(Sorry. That was a Ti user with minor Fe saying, "This just makes no sense / seems imbalanced, so I mostly refuse to even play the game.")
 
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