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  1. #41
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Okay so basically fi and ti are more similar and fe te are more alike. Im sure I realized this at some point but really it's like ti and fi are personal and fe and te aren't. You don't feel attached to them. It's just collective data. So then would you say an infj would feel more attached to their ti ?
    So... are you talking about Fe/Te/Fi/Ti as cognitive functions, or are you talking about feelings/emotions?

    I guess as far as feelings/emotions goes, it's probably fair to say I view them as data, and more impersonal. BUT, I want to stress that I don't think this means at all that I don't FEEL the same things an Fi-user might... I might be in just as much emotional pain/distress, or feel the same highs of the joys an Fi-user might feel.. I just may not act on them in the same way, or view their significance in the same way. Maybe that's where more of the *cognitive* function piece comes in; but, I'm also not sure that emotions/feelings (the raw feelings being felt) should be tied in with cog functions.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #42
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I should also say that I don't usually make assumptions about other people's feelings or motivations EXCEPT in the absence of anything to work with. I can't stand not having some sort of working information (or at least hypothesis) as to why they act as they do. I realize that I am often wrong in my assumptions, particularly with Fi users and there's almost nothing I could do that would annoy them more. However, they sometimes don't give me much to work with.

    I also usually am oriented to acting in some way if I am trying to comfort someone or improve a situation, which is also not always helpful to Fi users. If Fi users find my attempts at help intrusive (eg not wanting any interaction when they are upset or sick), the best thing they can do to get those Fe attempts stopped is to explain what a help the person is by giving them some space (then they feel they are doing something helpful!) or think up something innocuous that is a better alternative to what the person is trying to do. Fe users aren't trying to be pushy or annoying, but are attempting to connect in a way that they'd appreciate themselves.

    Similarly, when those actions aren't present in Fi users, it can be misinterpreted as apathy or not caring about the Fe person. That may seem manipulative or prescriptive, but it can cause some really serious rifts in the relationship without the Fi user realizing what a big impact it is having.

    One difference I've noticed between Fe and Fi is that with Fe, actions are generally not considered as neutral. Inaction is a form of action. Intentions, while they should be factored in, are less important than the end result. With Fi, it seems to me that Fi users would consider more of their behaviour as neutral and that intentions are given considerable weight.

  3. #43
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    Fe people seem to tend to want me to emotionally connect and sometimes I feel that if I connect it will only come off as patronizing. If I decide to entertain them out of a desire to maintain the relationship long-term and a desire to discuss possibilities, I sometimes come back to the scene of the crime to apologize for what I felt was incongruency. I've learned that I'm not truly incongruent; I'm just complex, and by acknowledging those complexities, I connect with Fe people sincerely, selflessly, and tactfully. I feel that many of the clashes between Fe people and Fi people are due to a difference in vision that results in Fi being an immovable object and Fe being an unstoppable force. If Fi people extravert in an authentic way and if Fe people introvert in an authentic way then a lot of the discrepancies don't happen; even in the case that they do, the situation isn't uncomfortable. For instance, Elfboy found a point of contention with his parents after a sneaky tryst. If he developed some communication skills to convey his feelings about the tryst both honestly and respectfully, then perhaps the process would have not only been smoother, but more enjoyable for everyone involved, including his interest of intimacy who was apparently swept under the carpet like an object of shame. And yes @Elfboy, I am hijacking stories of your personal life for my own agenda. You left the keys in the car.

  4. #44
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    How Se tries things out and experiences things viscerally, physically, we put on the other person's shoes and hat and sleep in their bed to feel how they feel. "Walking a mile in another man's shoes" is an Fe concept. Another power of Fe is connecting and disconnecting. Finding common ground to relate in some way if possible. Even if I feel a certain way about someone, I relate however I may, so as long as the atmosphere and relations remain cordial. When there are negative emotions in the air, I trace it to the person or persons and do what I can to disarm and ease the tension so that the emotional climate of goes from 90* and humid to a amiable 75* with a slight breeze. Its the "we mentality"
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  5. #45
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    How Se tries things out and experiences things viscerally, physically, we put on the other person's shoes and hat and sleep in their bed to feel how they feel. "Walking a mile in another man's shoes" is an Fe concept. Another power of Fe is connecting and disconnecting. Finding common ground to relate in some way if possible. Even if I feel a certain way about someone, I relate however I may, so as long as the atmosphere and relations remain cordial. When there are negative emotions in the air, I trace it to the person or persons and do what I can to disarm and ease the tension so that the emotional climate of goes from 90* and humid to a amiable 75* with a slight breeze. Its the "we mentality"
    i do this too...or...it feels as tho i do...but from where i'm sitting it does not seem like fe users do this...or...it seems that they put themselves into it and feel how they would feel....not how i would feel. and it's highly likely they would say the same in reverse.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #46
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    So... are you talking about Fe/Te/Fi/Ti as cognitive functions, or are you talking about feelings/emotions?

    I guess as far as feelings/emotions goes, it's probably fair to say I view them as data, and more impersonal. BUT, I want to stress that I don't think this means at all that I don't FEEL the same things an Fi-user might... I might be in just as much emotional pain/distress, or feel the same highs of the joys an Fi-user might feel.. I just may not act on them in the same way, or view their significance in the same way. Maybe that's where more of the *cognitive* function piece comes in; but, I'm also not sure that emotions/feelings (the raw feelings being felt) should be tied in with cog functions.
    i am talking about both i guess. how do fe users process emotions...it seems as tho...it's more of a ti fi thing. or maybe that's the only way i can understand it. because te and fe just aren't personal...so...how could they be the important functions to discuss when talking about processing emotions?? i keep going in and out of being clear on this...
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #47
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    @Ginkgo
    - it was not "sneaky". it was just none of their business
    - I did not "sweep anyone under the table"
    - I was plenty respectful, I just told them straight "none of your business means none of your business. that means don't bring it up again"
    I do not appreciate your patronizing assumptions. they are unwarranted and i did not provide you with enough information to make that kind of judgement. also, the next time you want to insult someone, be more direct and frank as opposed to trying to make it look like an impersonal point solely made to be relevant to the discussion.
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  8. #48
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    @Ginkgo
    - it was not "sneaky". it was just none of their business
    - I did not "sweep anyone under the table"
    - I was plenty respectful, I just told them straight "none of your business means none of your business. that means don't bring it up again"
    I do not appreciate your patronizing assumptions. they are unwarranted and i did not provide you with enough information to make that kind of judgement. also, the next time you want to insult someone, be more direct and frank as opposed to trying to make it look like an impersonal point solely made to be relevant to the discussion.
    I don't want to insult anyone, Elfboy, nor did I insult anyone. However, if your parents have the right to be frank, and you tell them not to, that's not very respectful of their rights. I will express myself however I deem fit. Thank you.

  9. #49
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I'm not really sure. For me, I experience deep and intense emotions. I think of it as an internal ocean--ever changing, shifting, surging, stormy or sometimes just flat. I think of myself as a wandering albatross flying over it. It is the eternal journey, one of restlessness and mostly solitary. I cannot explain this world to other people. Only take snapshots. But just like real-life family photos, they are usually not of interest to other people. So, I don't usually speak of it.

  10. #50
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^ totally relate to that too.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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