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  1. #261
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    I thought we answered this already. And my opinion is that it can in a way but i think it still comes across differently. Like instead of bending to make the group happy. I would say how about we all just agree to disagree or just do our own thing.

    So... I still want there to be limited conflict but I don't want people to have to give up something that's really important to them either.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #262
    In orbit
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    Fe makes you secretly really really wish you were the psychologist in this video (coincidentally this was sent to me by an ENFJ psychologist... ). If you've ever had Fe overload your circuitboard, you'd know why.

  3. #263
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    I thought we answered this already. And my opinion is that it can in a way but i think it still comes across differently. Like instead of bending to make the group happy. I would say how about we all just agree to disagree or just do our own thing.

    So... I still want there to be limited conflict but I don't want people to have to give up something that's really important to them either.
    Clinging to once individuality is a thing I support too, tho there are enough people who give that up for group dynamics.

    For me Fe isnt only about group dynamics and social conventions in general are a thing I never liked so much. I think one of the most respectable qualities of dom Fe users is the perspective change. Namely that they are able to feel how it is for you and even to think for you in advance sometimes. I think that is a quality everybody would like. This a sort of life wisdom tho, one has to learn first.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #264
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Also the thing is that fi users just weigh things constantly...things are filtered and catorigized by importance... Is this thing more important to you than me? Is it valid? Is it reasonable? If so I'll just let ya have it... If its offensive or stupid or just means too much to me then I won't budge

    Ya know?

    So... It could look like fe... Perhaps

    We take others peoples wishes into consideration too
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #265
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Also the thing is that fi users just weigh things constantly...things are filtered and catorigized by importance... Is this thing more important to you than me? Is it valid? Is it reasonable? If so I'll just let ya have it... If its offensive or stupid or just means too much to me then I won't budge

    Ya know?

    So... It could look like fe... Perhaps

    We take others peoples wishes into consideration too
    Ya I know, its a kind of filtering right ?

    I had a good example with my gf, who is a dom fi: she just had a difficult operation on her hand and since then she cant do stuff like she wants. We moved to a new appartment recently and we still have a lot to do in th apartment, only problem is I work 10 hours a day atm, while she has to stay home and cant do shit with that hand. She nevertheless carries a lot of heavy stuff around and tho I am telling her every day to quit that, she continues and carrieing to heavy stuff was mainly the reason why she needed to be operated in the first place. ( She's got carpal tunnel syndrome).

    So yesterday she yelled at me all out of a sudden pretty heavily that I am not helping her enough in her current situation. I think thats pretty egoistic cause I am working the whole day, I just cant help her atm. But I cant say that, then we would argue. So I tell her that I have been complaining about her not resting the last three weeks because I am worried about her. That now when she doesnt take time and rest her hand she'll ruin it forever and cant move it afterwards. I know that illness from my mum and since it is accelerated when you put constant pressure on the hand, I am right on that one. She tho didnt ever consider that I am telling her to rest her hand because I am worried about her, she tought I am telling her that so I dont have to do the chores. Then she was angry about me not helping her dressing up and showering. Well I tried helping her but she got frustrated in the first nanosecond yelled several times at me and I told her to do her stuff alone.

    The problem and core to the whole story is that she has got a problem with her current situation what is perfectly understandable. But instead of facing that problem or understanding it objectively, she starts acting on the negative emotions her problem causes and becomes almost unbearable. The thing is tho she evaluates everything from her personal fi value system and is concerned with stuff always from her own perspective, she aint able to objectively see her problems. And thats an ability she can get from an ne-fe combo, the ability to drag new information into her own world for an update or refreshment of her thoughts. Nobody can stay forever in his or her own head and think he would do everything right or have all the information necessary. Sometimes it is more important to listen to others, to find out something about oneself.

    Fi people are a very difficult bunch of people, I must say, tho there are way more difficult people out there. At times I have the feeling they never wanted to be older than 6 years. But it is of key importance to never get worked up with them, but to staying cool and trieing to understand them. Then when you wait long enough they grant you access to their world for a moment and then you can place your accounts receivables. When you are lucky then, they will respect you.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #266
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Have you ever been in or witnessed an argument where the two people were actually saying the same thing, only different ways, so they thought they were saying opposite things instead? Perhaps that's what's happening here. Fe/Fi=different focus or interpretation of same basic process? So maybe it all feels the same to the respective users, but the focus is different for each?*


    *Disclaimer: my knowledge of functions is next to nothing, so I could be stating the obvious, or I could be so off-base that it's not even funny.
    Johari / Nohari

    “That we are capable only of being what we are remains our unforgivable sin.” ― Gene Wolfe

    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  7. #267
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Fi people are a very difficult bunch of people, I must say, tho there are way more difficult people out there. At times I have the feeling they never wanted to be older than 6 years. But it is of key importance to never get worked up with them, but to staying cool and trieing to understand them. Then when you wait long enough they grant you access to their world for a moment and then you can place your accounts receivables. When you are lucky then, they will respect you.
    Reading this makes me want to just throw my hands in the air.

    She doesn't want you to solve her problems, man. She just wants you to listen to how she's feeling, NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT EXCEPT HUG HER in that moment. Nothing. No suggestions. NONE.

    Once that happens, SHE will manage her own emotions and make her own progress. She does NOT need or want you to do that for her.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #268
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Also the thing is that fi users just weigh things constantly...things are filtered and catorigized by importance... Is this thing more important to you than me? Is it valid? Is it reasonable? If so I'll just let ya have it... If its offensive or stupid or just means too much to me then I won't budge

    Ya know?

    So... It could look like fe... Perhaps

    We take others peoples wishes into consideration too
    Interesting how the Ne affects the aux Fi~how the Fi filters through the dom Ne.
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  9. #269
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Reading this makes me want to just throw my hands in the air.

    She doesn't want you to solve her problems, man. She just wants you to listen to how she's feeling, NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT EXCEPT HUG HER in that moment. Nothing. No suggestions. NONE.

    Once that happens, SHE will manage her own emotions and make her own progress. She does NOT need or want you to do that for her.
    So woman are godlike and man are just the accessoire
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #270
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    So woman are godlike and man are just the accessoire
    No, she's an Fi user, you cannot use your emotion like a tool to try to solve her emotions. Once you give her emotions a space to breathe, she will solve for them herself.

    Anyway, sorry to get a little exasperated, I don't know if you get how insulting it sounds to hear someone say "At times I have the feeling they [Fi users] never wanted to be older than 6 years."

    Hope everything works out for you and I hope your girlfriend's hand heals soon and well.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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