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  1. #251
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Yes totally me too!

    Interesting! What's your instinctual sacking?
    All I know is that I'm sp-dom.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #252
    Junior Member frezekiel's Avatar
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    I'm often torn between being individualistic and honoring social expectations.

    When I'm in top form, I find a way to maintain both at the same time, but when one needs to be sacrificed its always social expectations that gets the axe.

    This usually comes in the form of being quiet and withdrawn in social situations, or exempting myself from social situations altogether....or even cutting people out of my life suddenly.
    It can also come out in being uncharacteristically loud and overbearing about my feelings/opinions/expectations, etc. at times.

    I think it's important to note that Fe is not always about expressing warmth but also expressing displeasure! (see the quote below)

    In a nutshell, I guess I experience Fe as you would expect an INFJ to--as of secondary importance to inhabiting my inner world of reflection and imagination.

    I was gonna try to give a highly personalized response to the OP, but I just don't think I can improve on this definition at all:


    Extraverted Feeling* - (Fe)


    The process of extraverted Feeling often involves a desire to connect with (or disconnect from) others and is often evidenced by expressions of warmth (or displeasure) and self-disclosure.



    The "social graces," such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling.

    Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling.

    Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others.

    We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves.

    This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them.

    Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others' feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs.

    We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.

    *Adapted from Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi, Understanding Yourself and Others: An Introduction to the Personality Type Code (Used with permission)

  3. #253
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfie View Post
    Other than the possibility of SO-dom being the reason Fi-users feel they are Fe-users, are there any other scenarios that might account for this?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Your values could be centered around a lot of the same things one would consider the realm of fe ??
    I think both of those are possibilities. The other possibility is a functional model like Wilde's, that gives results such that if someone is extremely F (for example), but only moderately J/P, they might have both Fe and Fi in their top 4 functions.


    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post

    [edit to add] Although! It's worth mentioning that I have noticed with some FPs I know- regardless of whether the focus of people is large or small- Fi users seem a bit less consistent to me. Something that would warrant concern one day might not warrant concern the next, and that confuses me. I gather that- for them- it's all about expressing or showing how much they're feeling at that particular moment (?, or something, I don't really get it). But to me it's confusing. It's like expecting me to find value in using a ruler, but changing what the actual distance of an 'inch' is on a whim. (And as always, worth mentioning: it's NOT my experience of every FP, only a few of them.)
    Keep in mind that Fi is all about tuning things for a set of specifics (just like Ti is). Therefore, cross-contextual external consistently is simply less of a priority. It also doesn't help that Fi is about optimizing based on internal values which can't even be externalized or communicated easily. As a result, it can look very inconsistent from the outside.

  4. #254
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    See, this is something I assess on a very case-by-case basis. I can pick up on when someone only feels agitated- if I feel 'obligated' to fix their feelings- and so I only feel that 'obligation' where I sense people expect me to feel that obligation. And frankly, sometimes I sense people expect me to feel more obligated than I'm comfortable with, so I might end up avoiding that person where/when I can. But my point is- I totally get this, and what Tilty said about it. Once I understand a person just wants to be left with their feelings, I have no problem with that.
    Hmm...interesting. I've had trouble from family members with this. I find myself reacting poorly when someone tries to 'fix' my feelings. Only knowing that they mean well keeps me from going off. Sometimes it didn't help because they insisted they were going to make me feel better and would become upset when I didn't appreciate their efforts or want their comfort. I don't like to be pushed out of whatever I'm feeling at that moment...it needs to go away on its own or I need time to work my way out of it. Occasionally, I may seek comfort or better yet, a "what do you think?" kind of feedback. So, if I'm grumpy in the morning (or any other time), just leave me alone until I'm better. Asking for feedback is even trickier. I almost always end up wishing that I had kept quiet. It's usually because I feel misunderstood and figure that such things belong inside of me.

    I do notice other people's upset, bad moods, or distress. My first reaction is to try and shield myself from it. Second reaction is to give them space. I don't know what else to do. I can and have responded to people in distress but it's not my usual response and it's unlikely to last long. Wanting to help usually comes in the form of "this is what you need to do...." and that often is exactly what someone in distress or a bad mood does not wants to hear (ha...it's often out of my mouth before I can clamp down). I am much more likely to offer emotional comfort to my children (and even then it can be hard). I find it very difficult to do with other people...it just takes so much energy.

    <----Why couldn't I find the one blowing its nose?

  5. #255
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
    ~Oscar Wilde
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #256
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    I have a theory that Fe users might be fundamentally unable to relate to Sylvia Plath. Even if they appreciate her skill.

    What do you think?
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  7. #257
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I have a theory that Fe users might be fundamentally unable to relate to Sylvia Plath. Even if they appreciate her skill.

    What do you think?
    Depends on whether you're talking about her poetry or The Bell Jar. I appreciated The Bell Jar. I really did not feel her poetry, meaning I didn't like it, until I was well into adulthood, and even now, it's not what I'd prefer to read.

  8. #258
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    @greenfairy

    Okay looks like everyone agrees on the "energy sense". That's good.

  9. #259
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    @greenfairy

    Okay looks like everyone agrees on the "energy sense". That's good.
    Sorry, I haven't read about 15 pages of thread; do you mean just you and I, or has there been a general agreement among Fe users?


    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I think a lot of my Fe coincides with Se. Opening the valve on Se eventually leads to some Fe loosening up. Not quite social butterly, but it's a more social and active mode overall. I don't want to always proceed though. Usually my first inclination is weighing whether anything or anyone is worth my time. People who demand too much get grumbling or some fighting. So I'm not the greatest person to represent much Fe. I just know I have it because there's an ETP side, and a side that cares what other's think. And a side that has successfully manipulated it too. I just want to silence it most of the time.

    edit: I should add that a lot of what I might be sympathetic towards Fi (on moral issues) is borrowed from my religious beliefs. I can't say it's "an internal value system". I have a value system on loan...one that I don't totally believe in. And I can discuss it clearly rather than be ambiguous or mysterious or highly personal like Fi. I wish I could believe more strongly, but my mind has a way of tearing things apart. Then I'm back to almost square one. I hold to the important bits though. Some things are worth believing, some things inspire empathy.
    Regarding inferior Fe and value systems: would you say you have a good sense of empathy and that your conscience is based on it? As in you know something is unethical because you can sense it when a being is harmed by an action? I'm, trying to distinguish the difference between Fe and Fi here; I have a strong sense of empathy in a kind of energy sensing psychic sense; I feel others' emotions, but I often don't know exactly how to respond (or if I should). This is how I form my sense of ethics; if I sense that beings collectively are harmed in situations as a consequence of actions and conditions, I deem those actions and conditions to be generally unfavorable and I try to avoid participating in them. I also intellectualize it a bit and find logical reasons why it makes sense to behave in certain ways.

  10. #260
    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
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    Can Fi seem like Fe when Fi's personal values include social harmony??
    ( . )( . )

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