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  1. #221
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    @fidelia: do you think this could be related more to being so-dom?

    You are, and I am, and even though I am an Fi-dom too, I can relate to everything you've posted recently about social cues and graces.

    (I've also been coming to learn recently one of my biggest extrapolations about Fi is inaccurate across the spectrum of INFP's ... I have a blog post coming up about that, wrt some enneagram consulting I've been enjoying.)
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  2. #222
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Postscriptum: A good part of it might have something to do with overactive mirror neurons. Are there studies about this?
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
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  3. #223
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    the one i read...on here i think...possibly posted by aj or maybe intp anyway...was that enfps had the highest level of that....i can't be certain...possibly followed by infj.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #224
    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    @fidelia: do you think this could be related more to being so-dom?

    You are, and I am, and even though I am an Fi-dom too, I can relate to everything you've posted recently about social cues and graces.

    (I've also been coming to learn recently one of my biggest extrapolations about Fi is inaccurate across the spectrum of INFP's ... I have a blog post coming up about that, wrt some enneagram consulting I've been enjoying.)
    I'm also interested in this answer. I am probably a Fi-user, relate a lot to Fe usage, and am SO dom
    ( . )( . )

  5. #225
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfie View Post
    I'm also interested in this answer. I am probably a Fi-user, relate a lot to Fe usage, and am SO dom
    If you're wired similarly to me, being Fi-dom and so-dom will certainly make you feel like you can relate A LOT to Fe ... I've taken umbrage here in the past when Fi users are told they "don't care" about other people or the group, but am learning that my wiring in this way is perhaps atypical.

    Welcome to the forum Wolfie - I will message you when I do up my blog post on the topic if you are interested.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  6. #226
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i live with an infp so dom and in some ways it seems he has no fe at all...or social grace is a better word for that here i think.
    like...jokes that are not funny in this particular company
    i often feel like...omg don't say that!

    but then...he's way concerned about being judged by people...like the person at the grocery store if he doesn't donate a dollar to whatever charity

    weird weird weird i tell ya!
    i'm so last...i'm pretty sure... and couldn't care less!
    but! i know how to act in public....usually...meaning. i'm not likely to hurt someones feelings or make them uncomfortable.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #227
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I read somewhere in the enneagram threads someone saying that being an so dom made them think they were a Fe user at first when they aren't. I don't really have a large enough control group to tell though.

  8. #228
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think it can read that way a bit but i don't know really either.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #229
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfie View Post
    Nevermind, I see it's practically impossible for me to be a Fe user.
    Me, too, and I AM one.
    What my Fi friends have taught me is that sometimes it's ok to flake, a person who's grouchy at the breakfast table needs coffee and for you to leave him alone, a person who doesn't answer you usually wants you to shut up or is just not thinking about you right at that moment ... all of which makes life surprisingly easier for me. Fi is more relaxed in many ways. Fi assumes you're gonna do whatever the heck you feel like doing at any given moment and has no expectations of you -- PRIDES itself on having no expectations of you. While this feels barbaric to the Fe user, I must say, once I realized it was genuine, I found myself savoring its charms.

    Afterthought: So much of what I see in this thread can be totally fixed just by speaking up about how you feel ... nobody does this but me? I don't have the patience to just sit and take it. Eventually I'm gonna be asking if I can help and if not, moving on to something more engaging. Or making an observation in a joking way to the effect that there's not a lot of feedback going on here, did you turn into a zombie? You kind of have to train people how to respond to you (and they have to train you back). Once you establish dialogue and learn each other's signals, it's easier, but you can't do that unless you establish dialogue, which sometimes you have to prompt for...

  10. #230
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Me, too, and I AM one.
    What my Fi friends have taught me is that sometimes it's ok to flake, a person who's grouchy at the breakfast table needs coffee and for you to leave him alone, a person who doesn't answer you usually wants you to shut up or is just not thinking about you right at that moment ... all of which makes life surprisingly easier for me. Fi is more relaxed in many ways. Fi assumes you're gonna do whatever the heck you feel like doing at any given moment and has no expectations of you -- PRIDES itself on having no expectations of you. While this feels barbaric to the Fe user, I must say, once I realized it was genuine, I found myself savoring its charms.
    can i get a hug?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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