its rather simple, ive got enough of doubting and never quite being satisfied with the most fundamental part of my life, the motivations which keeps it all flowing for the better.
here my current state of self perception: ENFP 4w3, 7w8, 9w1 sx/sp
(right before this day it was 6w7 instead on place of 7w8, and before that it was 7w8 so im returning back to my earlier self perception, which i actually wasnt aware of having perceived myself that way until i realized i had my tritype written that way in one psychological forum.)
reasoning behind: i made a re-breakthrough of re-discovering how important it is for me to trust 4w5 (trusting my intuition paints the feelings correct) of my Fi's motivation.
also another why: it seems my thoughts give much more results if i focus on the sheer will power of wanting to have the correct answer fast and easy.
not to mention those 270 other tabs in my opera browser + 20? tabs on firefox which i absolutely must look at yet when i start looking at them, apparently, ive opened another 10 tabs as i closed a few. and the proportion always goes that way unless i have perfect mind peace, allowing for utmost self control and thus directing my intuition onto the current task instead of letting it (unintentionally) free.
shoot with whatever questions you believe could define the truth, ill answer to the best of my current abilities.
also ive realized im rarely able to truly stop moving, even if i stop my habits of chair spinning, then i get something else to replace it. umm... like moving my hands, knocking my teeth with the clean side of my fingers, drumming a new original song with a.. milk bottle, and i loved it. or.. moving my head around, whistling and singing to the music im listening, oh ive stopped my habit of creating music by tapping my fingers! oh wait nvm, that only lasts as long as theres music i can whistle or sing along with.
why i suspect i have 9w1 is, cause my automatic reaction to any pain caused upon me by others is to simply go silent and hope for no permanent injuries occuring. i also tend to hide all my suffering from myself too.
and why sx/ sp: my rationality often quickly fades in the face of something.. interesting.
alright, this might seem a clear 479 case? well.. lets just say, my self perception changes all the time, actually nearly every week i have a new idea of what i am. and the old fades.
oh, and you can see the self fear from my pic cant you?
and ive been, for majority of my life, death afraid of _past_ positive feelings, afraid most likely cause their intensity greatly overwhadows the current ones.
um i better stop writing before its too long and just another wasted effort.
also what might affect my projection is my want to finally settle down on self understanding makes me lean on whatever feels best at the moment.. sigh.