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  1. #1
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Default same gender AAAA + BBAA = ... ugh, what caan i do? =|..

    ive met three male isfp's in my life, every single on of them attacks me physically for no reason and now i live in a commune with one, who has attacked me physically 6 times in the past two days.. i even promised twice to not do anything which he finds annoying, nevertheless he has today twice intentionally like always, attacked me.

    its just wonder this third isfp hasnt gone to fists yet like the two previous i met in my life, and i never even talked with those two other isfps whom attacked me before i met this third one..

    is there no way to not be some magic-how annoying to them? =|..................


    what are your experiences on this magical same gender AAAA + BBAA combination?
    only solution i seem to find is total avoidance which isnt possibles since he can physically damage me even if i lock my room, by pounding in front of my door with maximum volume stereos, fists and shouting which cause me 24h lasting ear pains and ear ringing.
    not to mention how these exposures weaken my ears volume resistance completely by expending all the resistance my ears have.

    i have just totally lost my trust since he always breaks the promises of truce.

    anyone has solutions which doesnt require me to coach him? (it doesnt seem to help at all, have tried.)

    oh and im interested in hearing of other peoples experiences with same combination of function difference with same gender person. (different gender has totally different, peace easily found as i have two isfp female friends. although they do.. seem to disdain my thought pattern if i dont focus on giving an estj image.)

  2. #2
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    The behaviors you describe have nothing to do with type.

    If by 'attack' you mean 'physically assault' (which it sounds like you do), I would encourage you to vacate your current living situation, in favor of one that offers basic human stability. If money is a limiting factor in this decision, I would encourage you to contact your local housing authority -- most every city has low-rent housing available as a temporary option to escape domestic abuse, and will frequently work with you to transcend your abusive relationship and provide you access to the resources you require to get back on your feet.

    I wish you the very best of luck.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    The behaviors you describe have nothing to do with type.

    If by 'attack' you mean 'physically assault' (which it sounds like you do), I would encourage you to vacate your current living situation, in favor of one that offers basic human stability. If money is a limiting factor in this decision, I would encourage you to contact your local housing authority -- most every city has low-rent housing available as a temporary option to escape domestic abuse, and will frequently work with you to transcend your abusive relationship and provide you access to the resources you require to get back on your feet.

    I wish you the very best of luck.
    well the troublematic part is how its all legal to physically damage another in finland if its "not" physically obviously touching another person, means "indirect" or "provoked" physical damage is not on their responsibility.

    and about moving.. this is a mental recovery place thing, and im not all that enthusiastic on moving onto my own which cause the mental problems i have, in the first place.


    i suppose other people cant see my view like they never did on those two other isfp cases either, in which it was completely sanctionless for them to attack me with fists. ugh, male isfp's just love the soft laws of this country, which they happily abuse.

    my lack of will to really do anything doesnt help either. 9w1 at its work..

    EDIT: ill try something.. (speaking to the authority of this place, but people never seem to believe i experience the pain i do experience -.- ..)

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    What's odd here in the USA is that the male ISFPs I know are the most gentle of people... not initiating violence and typically using only the minimal amount necessary to defend, if someone instigates something with them. But they're typically so easy going that no one desires to hurt them. (IxFPs are the most gentle guys I've met.)

    Your story confounds me.

    Then again, if you're in an environment for those who need to recover from mental issues, they might not be acting out of type but out of some kind of problem which is why they're there in the first place.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    The Iron Giant
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    Yes, your experiences sound completely out of line with my own as well. I think it is more than the law that keeps people from falling to physical violence against one another. There's something about your circumstances that we're missing. I haven't had issue with ENTJs at all... nobody has physically attacked me since high school.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
    Yes, your experiences sound completely out of line with my own as well. I think it is more than the law that keeps people from falling to physical violence against one another. There's something about your circumstances that we're missing. I haven't had issue with ENTJs at all... nobody has physically attacked me since high school.
    ahem, no issues with ENTJ's? you wouldnt want to hear what an ENTJ has told me about your kind, to which i agree from my own bad experiences with ruined istj's. keyword, ruined, to make it more clear so as for you to not be confused and take it as a general insult, which it is not. and as i wrote, same gender is the key, + it takes quite an amount of interaction for most people to see what they hate about the other person, and with this specific combination when it does come to view.. itll be dirty and sudden, totally unexpected.

    i would never suspect a male isfp if it wasnt for several experiences with them, and im now starting to understand why they attack me for no apparent reason. (self image problems, misintepreting my "happiness" as some kind of insult at them..)

    EDIT: tip, get into a conversation about morals with an entj in leadership position, of same gender as you and youll find the blows your looking for, and if you have anything to do with that entj's organization.. well, no more.

  7. #7
    The Iron Giant
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vilku View Post
    ahem, no issues with ENTJ's? you wouldnt want to hear what an ENTJ has told me about your kind, to which i agree from my own bad experiences with ruined istj's. keyword, ruined, to make it more clear so as for you to not be confused and take it as a general insult, which it is not. and as i wrote, same gender is the key, + it takes quite an amount of interaction for most people to see what they hate about the other person, and with this specific combination when it does come to view.. itll be dirty and sudden, totally unexpected.

    i would never suspect a male isfp if it wasnt for several experiences with them, and im now starting to understand why they attack me for no apparent reason. (self image problems, misintepreting my "happiness" as some kind of insult at them..)

    EDIT: tip, get into a conversation about morals with an entj in leadership position, of same gender as you and youll find the blows your looking for, and if you have anything to do with that entj's organization.. well, no more.
    That's fine, I'm not going to feel insulted by your experiences. If you or any ENTJ took a general shot at ISTJs, I wouldn't feel offended either, because you or they would lose all credibility. I agree completely that asshole ISTJs are a special breed, blind in perception, unwilling to compromise, unbending in their convictions.

    I get along with people who aren't assholes, it's as simple as that. If someone's an asshole, it doesn't matter what their type is... In fact the person I know who I get along with the least is an ESFJ, and female. If someone approached me looking for a fight they would be disappointed. Besides, I'm not the kind of person who invites a beating.

    You yourself are talking about "ruined" people here. That doesn't speak to type in general, you're talking about assholes.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
    That's fine, I'm not going to feel insulted by your experiences. If you or any ENTJ took a general shot at ISTJs, I wouldn't feel offended either, because you or they would lose all credibility. I agree completely that asshole ISTJs are a special breed, blind in perception, unwilling to compromise, unbending in their convictions.

    I get along with people who aren't assholes, it's as simple as that. If someone's an asshole, it doesn't matter what their type is... In fact the person I know who I get along with the least is an ESFJ, and female. If someone approached me looking for a fight they would be disappointed. Besides, I'm not the kind of person who invites a beating.

    You yourself are talking about "ruined" people here. That doesn't speak to type in general, you're talking about assholes.
    yes i am, i would also like to point out what the conflict with this magical combination we are talking about is:
    well both have perfect matches of functions, thus they expect the other to use their 4rd and 4th to an amazing degree, yet even if one does his best, the other believes he doesnt care at all cause this one person believes he should do more, placing unrealistic expectations and then gets dissatisfied, and starts using their primary two functions to annoy the other one which only happens perfectly cause they both know each others weaknesses completely + just as happen to both poses the weapon most powerful against said weakness, then this person who started the hate circle believes the other one started it cause the other one is responding by fighting back, only the first person is too blind to realize they started it by placing unrealistic expectations, (the problem of Ni/Se, and no its simply not possible to explain this to the other person in any way, cause they already hold a firm belief of being justified to hurt the other person which is actually based on misperception.)

    edit, and again, same gender is crucial cause females poses natural serotonin generator in which males have the opposite, aka why we are more thoughtful and less feely in general, also makes male unable to generate feeling energy on our own like how female extroverts literally cant stand lone time, wheras male extro with Ne/Si functions is more likely to fall into autopilot of passivity unless enneagrams poses high dopamin levels which is very unlikely for a male Ne/Si, but a medium dopamin from an ennea too can cause high physical mobolity and thus less prone to passivity. (dopamin = chemical which gives motivation to act.)

  9. #9
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I think you have to be prepared to defend yourself. Bullies often pick on "easy targets" for their own self esteem. If you do, go for the throat, groin, or eyes and once they are disabled get the fuck out. You have a right to feel physically safe and not to be harassed. Don't let this guy take away a piece of your humanity.

    http://www.essortment.com/self-defen...cks-49711.html

    Consider taking a self-defense course/martial arts course
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Vilku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    I think you have to be prepared to defend yourself. Bullies often pick on "easy targets" for their own self esteem. If you do, go for the throat, groin, or eyes and once they are disabled get the fuck out. You have a right to feel physically safe and not to be harassed. Don't let this guy take away a piece of your humanity.

    http://www.essortment.com/self-defen...cks-49711.html

    Consider taking a self-defense course/martial arts course
    red it, useful and.. lets just say, theres one thing which can make me feel like fainting, loss of blood, and just cause of one specific not so smart "oh how sharp is this brand new knife here in this shop?" -thought line. (my intuition tends to execute whatever happens in my mind, without hesitation.. ever. and today again suffered an injury just due that reason, luckily nothing permanent this time.)

    and now that, gave me the same feeling.

    ive also wanted to do martial arts as a hobby/safety for quite some years, but am rather worried of the possible permanent injuries with any which require 1 on 1 physical contact to practice.

    also, we made a treaty, once again.. it will require constant maintenance if it is to work, for which i hope it does. the danger is, however, in, how both are required to have a constant grip of 4th function so as to not aggrevate/attack another by an accident. (male isfp's are impulsive, and it doesnt help their highest sensibility is in something i struggle to foresee. it works both ways, they assume others dont care of permanent injuries just cause they dont. him being ennea 8 doesnt help either -.- ..)

    but then, who can promise its even possible to keep a perfect functional balance, so as for imperfection to never happen? .. some things are impossible, i guess =/..
    ill try my best nevertheless. (practicing my weaker functions is great, but when the stakes are too high.. eh.. =| )

    would you recommend some specific martial arts considering how i wish to avoid further permanent injuries than the ones i already carry? ive been thinking of tai chi, stretching with benefits? as i stretch daily anyways, on my own custom.. enfp thing, we tend to do that.

    if you want to see what that means in practice, then look no further than at this artist: (at a second look i realized i forgot to paste the link i copy pasted, lols my mind can be shattered when Si is weak >.<..)

    also related: im not this way cause i carry the label of JEDI, funnily, i realized how perfectly that "religion" describes who i anyways am.
    i guess thats cause of my possible tritype being 4w3, 7w8, 9w1 (although i recently came to think it was 6w7 not 7w8, cause i often forget the what i am as i get too immersed in the "who" i am. thus losing connection to my Si, forgetting my real identity + the knowledge with it. oh no wait, thats not the cause i meant to express, thats another thing but the reason why i suspect i mistyped myself again is, as ive realized.. my motivation for thinking seems to be.. less patient, and lets just say i have over 270 tabs open in the internet which i feel too important to miss, yet when i start processing their contents, ive already opened 10 new tabs <.< .. and im trying my best not to. i really am..)

    right now i feel too tired for _honest_ self reflecting. maybe thats just my irrational defensive instinct? =/ or maybe i really am tired? .. who knows =|
    but at least today with the help of an infp i learned i must learn to trust Ne to paint the feelings instead of ignoring them in fear of others not wanting to see these feelings (and i dont, cant, nor wont hide my feelings from others, as i often understand my emotional state better by looking from mirror than by trying to probe my head.) oh and as i was going to write, ignoring doesnt mean they dont exist, i realized.

    ive realized i often carry that "im afraid of myself" look without realizing it without looking from a mirror.

    um.. maybe i should learn some self controlling skills to stop myself from writing and saying my thoughts at the wrong places? <.< .. (guess i hsould start another thread. although if i didnt write and say them instantly, then theyd be gone under the next thought which is about to pop right about now so i stop writing. before it pops here =X..)

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