Is it ever possible to change who you are?

[Cellmold]

Im not sure if this is relevant to MBTI so if moderators want, they can move this.

But ever since I was a child ive hated who I was and strove to be someone else in the hope that this would improve my life. Unfortunately as a more intelligent person might have realised, you tend to return back to your old habits instead. Oh not to mention that whole 'be who you are' thing which apparantly helps....

Essentially I saw my life as a nightmare akin to an endlessly repeated Barney the Dinosaur episode from the mid 90's.

However I did wonder if it was possible to actually change a mind; to delve in and uproot the habits of cognition. Is this possible?

Or does it just result in cognitive dissonance, identity problems and stress? As for MBTI, would some types have an easier job of achieving this than others?

 

[UniqueMixture]

You can change who you are, but it doesn't come from a place of self criticism. It has to come from a place of truly loving and caring about the special human being that you are.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Instead of focusing on being someone else alltogether, focus on how to improve your own self. Therein lies the answer to true change. The former only causes stress/unhealthy behaviour.

 

[Glycerine]

I think it is. I have seen people change for the worse and keep struggling to get back to their true selves. It's an awkward limbo to be in. I think some people do it for what they perceive as self preservation... as a way to cope with things but then some never look for better ways.

 

[Savage Idealist]

Yes it is possible to change who you are, with the correct means and knowledge.

 

[Cellmold]

I think it is. I have seen people change for the worse and keep struggling to get back to their true selves. It's an awkward limbo to be in.

Yeah I think this is what I did to myself and was my mistake.

Instead of focusing on being someone else alltogether, focus on how to improve your own self. Therein lies the answer to true change. The former only causes stress/unhealthy behaviour.

Hmm I suppose I have to agree because looking at it, it can only be the other option to the mistaken way ive been doing it.

You can change who you are, but it doesn't come from a place of self criticism. It has to come from a place of truly loving and caring about the special human being that you are.

Yeah this was maybe my mistake.

So do you think that people can redefine who they are? To warp the balance of the mind into some completely different form? Might this explain how it is feasible that an MBTI, (for example), type would be different to another of the same type? Of course human variability assumes this anyhow, but there has to be a level of correlation and consistancy for these theories to make sense.

Yes it is possible to change who you are, with the correct means and knowledge.

Is it possible to give an example?

Thank you for the answers everyone.

 

[UniqueMixture]

Yeah, and you'll find that the most uplifting people in life will help you to do that rather than defining you is such a way that is emotionally self-serving. It's a matter of if someone can relate to you and see themselves in you and you in themselves. Those types of people are the ones to look out for, because they will help you see yourself in a realistic sense from outside of yourself, but also in an idealized loving way at the same time. For example, if I had to guess.. I would say you remind me of how I used to feel when I thought others didn't accept/respect my passion. Because I thought this, I ended up fighting against myself for a long time rather than doing something I really cared about and would be good for my life and for the community. Perhaps I'm misreading this, I don't know but, I think you need to make a place in your life for little things that you enjoy that maybe no one else gets, but that YOU love. It doesn't have to be your career or anything, just a hobby to start but share it with other people who will appreciate it so you can feel like you're really being appreciated for who you really are.

 

[KDude]

Internally, I never thought I was changing much. Just exploring. In some ways, I still think I'm the same little kid I was when I was, say, 7 or 8.. (albeit with more life experiences). But from the outside, I've probably changed a lot. I've worn a lot of hats, donned different "labels", did things in my exploration that I'd never do now. I have friends who've known me through different stages and say they wish they had the "old me" back. I guess I was more exciting. But I'm past it, got what I could out of it. Internally though, I've never truly changed. They still do have the old me, if they just looked.

 

[Elfboy]

partially. for instance, there are things that you are just hardwired to do that you cannot change. for instance
- an NT is always going to need challenging problems to stimulate them
- an NFP is always going to have strong values and convictions
- a heterosexual is always going to be heterosexual and vice versa

 

[cascadeco]

So do you think that people can redefine who they are? To warp the balance of the mind into some completely different form? Might this explain how it is feasible that an MBTI, (for example), type would be different to another of the same type? Of course human variability assumes this anyhow, but there has to be a level of correlation and consistancy for these theories to make sense.

Hmm... I think one can adjust perception and what elements one focuses on, and one can learn to look beyond their immediate reaction, or preference, and layer other aspects into their ultimate decision or perception.

But there are things I'll never be, naturally - I'm not a natural entertainer, story-teller, exhuberant person, talkative, entreprenuer, what have you. So in mbti terms, I'm never going to be an ESFP or ENTP, etc.

I'll always process things in a certain way, but I can expand my repertoire, and change my perceptions. So going from being more negative to more positive is possible. As is perceiving relationships or life in one way, and then shifting to looking at it another way. Starting to incorporate new elements into decisions/beliefs, which in turn influence choices and behaviors. Those sorts of things.

As far as one person of an mbti type being different from another of the same type, imo there are many aspects that can make that difference. Differences are based on how much one expands, and take risks, and is willing to look beyond their kneejerk responses; differing values and beliefs, fears, quirks, learned behaviors, differing fixed physical and intellectual raw capabilities (the genetic cards we're dealt with in life), etc.

 

[Such Irony]

You can't change your natural predispositions towards certain things aside from gene manipulation but you can change how you react and cope to things.

 

[INA]

I came in to say you can certainly change, just probably not much at your direction. Then I saw that [MENTION=5109]Glycerine[/MENTION] had, in a way, touched on that.

I think it is. I have seen people change for the worse and keep struggling to get back to their true selves.