I missed this thread when it was new. I think my mom is an ESFJ and my dad is an INTP like me. Just for a little added analysis, I have two older brothers that are ENTJ (oldest) and INTJ.
My mom was prone to emotional outbursts, and I think part of the reinforcement for such a behavior was the way it let her control anything she wanted to. Since my dad is INTP, he's high in type 9 and tends to want to avoid conflict. Also, he has the weakest interaction style, behind the scenes, so he generally doesn't want to lead anyway. I still wonder why they got married, and all I can do is guess.
Anyway, I've always had to stay distant from my mom because of the above mentioned problem. I've heard some kids blame themselves for their parents problems. I always thought there was something wrong with my mom. Other than that, things were okay with my mom when I was a child, but it's hard to rely on someone or disclose something to someone who's prone to becoming irrational and verbally abusive.
When I became a teenager, I switched from the little Catholic school I had been attending since kindergarten to the largest public school in the state. I also ended up switching from Catholic to atheist with my INTJ brother without letting mom know. My brothers and I also had our secret drug use going on. I didn't have many friends at the time, and I was known for keeping to myself if I couldn't do something with one of my brothers.
Then we moved about an hour and a half away, and I ended up with no friends nearby and no friends at school either. That's also when we happened to get an internet connection. I spent lots of time by myself and on the computer, and I was really secretive. It just wasn't worth sharing stuff if you're gonna get "that's weird!" from mom, annoying antics and responses from dad, and/or criticism from your brothers.
Overall, my mom seemed to not understand spending lots of time alone and not wanting to be open with her and talk about problems and stuff. If my problems become her problems and she can't handle problems without going crazy, then I'd rather keep them to myself.
I was an atheist, and it was okay to hate. So I hated my mom for being the way she was, and I hated dad for letting her control him all the time.
When college came around, I became a Christian, and one day I decided to go visit a Pentecostal church that I was invited to. When I was leaving and I told mom she was like, "Wait, you can't just change religions." I didn't anticipate that, so I just spouted off some stuff about how Catholicism is dumb then left. I wonder how trying to raise three Catholics boys, and ending up with none of them affected her and her SJ self. Sorry, mom, we're NT's, and we can think for ourselves.
These days I live with my brothers in another city, and we hardly ever contact our parents unless there's a problem. It's just really weird and uncomfortable talking to them just to talk. Especially, if that would be the purpose for calling.