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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I'm not really resistant to rules and authority, but then my own values tend to relatively align with the laws of my country. I think most IXFPs don't want to waste their time resisting every restriction or demand on us; we're actually pretty go-with-the-flow about most things, saving our outrage for values that really matter to us.
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    I do very much dislike being bossed about, though. If you want to see a IXFP's defiant side all you have to do is micro-manage them; particularly if you attempt to control, dictate or wrongly claim to know, their thoughts, feelings, opinions, needs, moral views, nature etc. It's often only when my sense of self or my individuality is threatened that I become stubbornly resistant and difficult, if not intentionally contrary.
    Yes. This is where my INFJ 136 mother and I went round and round when I was growing up, and where my ESTJ 613 husband and I go round and round now. I used to internalize it, mull over the implications, and let it mess with me to my detriment. Now, years later, it's one of the few things in this world that will actually annoy me, although it is usually a quiet and dispassionately stated annoyance. Although I have areas I need to grow in, I am not a "fixer-upper" in need of remodeling by another person. I tend to resist attempts at control in any way - especially someone I don't fully trust. If it is someone I trust however, I will become very open to input, and will actually voluntarily place myself under their advisement.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    What person likes being told what to do, regardless of the tone of voice?

  3. #13
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    Yes I have problems with people speaking to me in an authoritarian tone of voice, especially. I tend to flee any kind of external hampering upon myself, for example in high school if I was having a bad day, Id just walk off campus alone. Not to party or whatever, just to go do things unstructured on my own, wander around, eat breakfast, etc.

    I had a problem with driving too fast in my late teens and early twenties.

    I do not like schedules or working for rigid people either. My senior year my French teacher named what she thought her seniors would be doing in future, and she surprised me by saying she thought Id be an entrepreneur. In fact, for much of my life Ive either been an independent contractor, or worked at places with flexible schedules, so she wasn't terribly off so far.

    Im also a counterphobic 6 though.

    That being said, I tend to be law abiding as long as I see the social good in it, and it doesn't seem unfair.

    I tend to just ignore what I dont want to obey, rather than being any kind of harmful social deviant, which Ive never approved of.

  4. #14
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    What person likes being told what to do, regardless of the tone of voice?
    The person who's directly asking to be told what to do.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    The person who's directly asking to be told what to do.
    Never met him.

  6. #16
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Never met him.
    Qualifier: being told what he wanted to do anyway.
    An argument is two people sharing their ignorance.

    A discussion is two people sharing their understanding, even when they disagree.

  7. #17
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal+ View Post
    As I said, "being told what to do in an authoritarian tone of voice."

    I'm looking for clues as to the meaning of "controlling, micro-managing Te type" in the inferior mode, with regard to how "I did it my way" Fi-dom relates to it.
    I do think there can be an sensitivity to Te style control but it is under specific circumstances. I'm usually perfectly OK with being a indian rather than a chief if it helps get things done with some efficiency. I'm not all that interested in power and control over others or how things get done, and if someone is taking charge and doing a good job, I'm fine with that. I think you'll find with IXFPs that we don't really care enough about most details of the hows and whys of everyday tasks to want to rebel and resist against them. But there are instances, even seemingly small ones, where controls or instruction gets under my skin. I will give you an example:

    At my last job, I started working on a website for my boss (an ENFP) and was really enjoying it because of all these ideas I had for it. My boss typically gives me a lot of leeway and we tend to discuss creative decisions as equals, as well as having a very relaxed work environment overall. I began working on a background image I really wanted to use, but because the image was flattened by the previous graphic designer, I had to spend ages photoshopping pieces out of it to make it look how I wanted. Eventually my boss told me it was taking too long (although I wasn't getting paid by the hour and was doing some of it after work) and that I should do a different background. I didn't get this because it was my own time and couldn't see the harm in me doing it. He went on to tell me the reasons why it wouldn't be a good background and why another would be better. I explained why I disagreed, and the discussion became increasingly tense, and I became more and more stubborn and pissed off. Eventually he became very angry and I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to stop working on it and use the one he wanted. Afterwards I wondered why this argument had happened and why I felt so angry about it. It was because he had tried to change my opinion as to what was the right creative choice. Within the bounds of work environment he had set, I felt I was within my rights to defend my opinion - yet his behaviour implied that I was free to an opinion, as long as it matched his. The thing is, if he had just told me Te-style to do it a particular way, I would have got on with it, without ceremony. I might have been disappointed but would have accepted his decision. It was when he tried to convince me that I was wrong in order to get me to change tack, that we ran into problems.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    What person likes being told what to do, regardless of the tone of voice?
    True. But I admit that I often will perceive instruction as authoritarian more readily than others. I don't even like sat navs because I hate how they try to tell me where to go and what to do; I feel like they're impinging on my free will.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #18
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    My Fi mom hates people who are really bossy and controlling, like a lot of Te users, the exact opposite of Fi, explaining why they hate authority in some ways, although they will generally try to get along, even if they disagree, so they are not the ultimate rebels.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    My Fi mom hates people who are really bossy and controlling, like a lot of Te users, the exact opposite of Fi, explaining why they hate authority in some ways, although they will generally try to get along, even if they disagree, so they are not the ultimate rebels.
    No, but which type is? An ESTP might try to beat up a cop, I suppose.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  10. #20
    Senior Member SubtleFighter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    What person likes being told what to do, regardless of the tone of voice?
    There are people who really like getting advice. But as far as people who genuinely like being told in no uncertain terms that they must do this . . . eh, no, can't think of any.
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."--Ambrose Redmoon

    . . . metamorphosing . . .

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