At it's best, Fe concerns itself with what's truly best for its community, however it chooses to define it. It is fearlessness in the face of injustice, and tirelessness in the pursuit of the good. They're lights in the darkness.
"An upsidedown wire heart
Being sucked into a periscope
Still the mind is dull
Like you need another excuse"
… a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
.. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
domain in which it is clear and adequate…. - David Bohm
I don't know if it's primarily Fe, but I rely heavily on being able to connect with people in business in order to make my living. I would be sunk if I couldn't build rapport with people.
And I really love making a nice connection and then working together in a win-win fashion. I deal in an item that requires a lot of interaction with a lot of people and building ongoing relationships for me to source it at it's best price. Shudder to think what I'd have to pay if I didn't know how to deal. Never take advantage of anyone though, even if I could. I believe in basing all of my dealings on a fair price.
That's in addition to all of the caring about others as much as oneself. Sometimes that's not so great for me, I suppose. But I know that the people I'm involved with appreciate it and it feels nice to give to those I love. I really enjoy catering to the comfort of the people I'm close to. I don't think I have ulterior motives. Though I'd be upset if my partner were an ass to me. I make sure to not keep score, I don't find that hard. I believe in being a willing giver. I don't go into self-sacrificing mode, it just comes very naturally to me to look after the people I care about. That principle gets applied in different ways depending upon how close I am to someone. I have basic, baseline consideration for most everyone. Unless someone is an ass or draws first blood... Or even second. Then I will let that person have it without guilt. I'm glad I developed that ability as I think it makes me open but not vulnerable.
Though, even when I do get into conflict, I don't crush people in a way that I sometimes know I could by illuminating a giant inconsistency to do with their personal life. I'm sorely tempted to sometimes, but I know I'd regret being actually cruel. I'm deciding whether or not that just makes more trouble for me though. I don't think a lot of people necessarily pick up on your not hitting them below the belt or embarrassing them in public. <----I'm not saying this is a positive aspect of my Fe. Just going into detail as to how I work.
My Fe at its best makes sure that people I love are comfortable and well. My Fe sometimes places a hand on the back of a nervous friend and says something encouraging. Fe can be very good indeed, I think.
"I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
My Fe is terrible, and my Fi is very strong and self-centered. To strengthen my Fe, I like reading about traditionally Fe-oriented activities or professions (networking, sales, conversational skills) and picking up little tidbits for consumption and practice.
I don’t know if it’s “Fe at its best,” but little tricks that may be automatic to Fe-users are often a big revelation to me (an Fi-Dom). For example:
I noticed that an ESFJ acquaintance always had an innate sense of when it was time to leave. Whether we were at a bar, on a visit to family or friends, or whatever. He knew just the right point where we had stayed long enough to fulfill a social obligation but also that it was time to move on before things got dull.
It’s a small thing, but it can be a nightmare for people without that facility. For many years, any social visit always posed the same annoying problems for me: Have I stayed long enough that I can leave without being insulting? Am I being a burden by overstaying? My host keeps coming up with excuses to keep me here; he won’t let me leave--how do I get out of here without offending?
After seeing my Fe-user friends deal with such problems so effortlessly, I realized that I was just being too nuts about it. So before minor social visits, I started setting my watch alarm to go off 45 minutes after arriving. When the alarm goes off I apologize for the interruption but explain that I have other errands to do, and I’m on my way.
For so many years I struggled with all kinds of social questions: Shyness, introductions, topics of conversation, how to deal with people who complain about personal problems, how to deal with disagreements, etc. Then I started paying more attention to my Fe-user acquaintances, and now I have all kinds of notes and reminders for how to deal with certain people and certain situations. (Some of the tricks and tidbits shade over into Se and some of them shade over into Te.)
But the point is that Fe is naturally good with people. With a little study, it’s possible for even non-Fe users to come up with reasonable facsimiles or substitutes for Fe behaviors. As a result, Fe-users have become my personal gurus, and I’ve become much more comfortable engaging in social interactions on a regular basis.
People and relationships are important IRL. You can’t avoid them forever, and you can’t run scared of them. Gotta love that Fe for simplifying those things and demonstrating how to deal with them.
At its best, it connects and warms people up. Says the right thing to make someone feel better. Keeps things light and breezy, while addressing things objectively for a group "lets make this the best we can. I know we can do it because I've seen you guys time in and time out dole out excellent work. Lets go win."