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  1. #31
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    My parents told me that when I wouldn't sleep they would take me for a ride on their magnificent Volkswagen Beetle, and only then I'd get sleepy. A couple of years later, my twins brothers were born and they stopped doing that.
    I think most adults liked me, but I was usually neutral about them. I disliked some specific ones, and I think they were able to tell, because I hadn't learned how to hide that fact.
    I remember being involved in some fights, and I still remember some facial cues of one specific kid that was probably the only one that could beat me back then.
    I remember one girl being crazy about me, but I mostly ignored her. My mom still remembers that. Sigh. Apparently, she was pretty.
    Not many stories from toddler age. When I was a little bit older than toddler, I had a quick conversation with my father about the Comet Halley, which is visible from Earth every 75-76 years. I casually said ''too bad you won't be here to see it next time'', and apparently that wasn't the kind of things kids are supposed to say. He asked why, and I innocently answered ''because no one lives that much''.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  2. #32
    Junior Member nharkey's Avatar
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    I love all the anecdotes that members have sent here. Temperament in children is my obsession and this is just a gold mine! I am certain that preferences start to show up very early if you are aware of them and observant of your children. Meanwhile, I just posted a chapter from my Parenting by Temperament book on a blog that I keep. The chapter is called "Every child is Unique" and describes early signs of preferences without using the MBTI labels, so I describe cuddlers and non-cuddlers, dreamers and practical children, free spirits and order-lovers, etc. You can find it at temperamentMatters.com. I also have "Sorters" for measuring temperament in children aged 4-8 and 9-12 (to be taken by the parents, not the 4 year olds) as well as Sorters for their parents, that are completely free and have good feedback. You can find these at Parentingbytemperament.com

  3. #33
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    I've watched a bunch of home movies from when I was as young as one. I had one of those horses with wheels that you can get on and scoot around....yet I always carried it everywhere. My mom said as young as two I was trying to drag animals home... Apparently, someone was giving away kittens, and when my mom dragged me away without a kitten I cried "mine, mine, mine" the whole way home. And almost all my pictures I have a very somber-looking expression. I also wasn't one for nonsense... If someone tried to be funny and say something totally outlandish, I'd look at them and tell them "That's not possible."

    I was a total bully to my cousin. I was four months older than him and way taller than him... I would do stuff that ticked my grandma off (she watched us during the day) and when she found out she'd blame my cousin.... I never admitted to her it was really me that did it. I used to beat the crap out of him too... Ooooh, there was the Halloween incident... Oh man, we all still laugh at this. So, the first Halloween where we really "got it," my mom and aunt took me and my cousin out trick or treating... Well, here's how it went down... Me and my cousin walked up the steps to this guy's house, I rang the doorbell, shoved my cousin off the porch and he landed spread eagle in the bushes, guy opens the door, I say trick or treat, and the guy busts out laughing and then helps my cousin out of the bush. Later on in life... My cousin would end up taking karate lessons...not sure why.


  4. #34
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    @Redbone Ah thanks for that bit of information....maybe there is more correlation here than I realised?
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  5. #35
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    my entp son never played with toys as tho they were meant to be played with
    he made piles of chaotic messes that only he knew what they were
    he was/is hilarious and had this humor that was way beyond his years. like before he could even talk he seemed to understand why certain things were funny. he really fed off of people reactions to him and turned up the charm and made everyone crack up.
    humor was his way of communicating with adults
    he was also very charismatic and everyone was drawn to him. he had big sparkly eyes...just a giant personality...very loving affectionate and silly

    it is unbelievably cool seeing their personalities develop.
    In a lot of ways this reminds me of my son. I've thought of him as being on the introverted side, but I'm starting to question that. I'm away at a family weekend thing atm, heaps of people here he's never met, and he is buzzing. Bright eyes, dimples, a little whirlwind of charm.
    Normally at home he isn't around a lot of people, so I haven't really seen this side before, and he is quite happy playing on his own for ages. He can concentrate on one thing for a long time like puzzles or books, runs around the house with little animal figurines talking in a non-stop unintelligible stream (to them?). Or if given a new toy will sit manipulating it until he figures out how it works.
    He loves loves rough housing. Do most toddlers? Loves to be tickled, even half an hour of tickling games isn't enough for him. He laughs all the time, shrieks, giggles, everything is amusing.
    A very happy boy, big sparkling eyes, mischievous grin. He finds great delight in playing bluffing games. Will stand on the coffee table while I'm sitting on the couch, make a fake step or turn his head, looking away from me, or even just shift his eyes; as soon as he thinks I'm fooled, he launches himself at me, giggling like mad. Sometimes he can't quite keep a straight face while doing his bluff and snickers escape.
    When he was 18 months I took him blueberry picking. After we were there for awhile, he picked a blueberry and insisted I bend down so he could feed it to me. I oblige. He walks up with his long lashed eyes and angelic face, proffering the berry. My mouth is open, and with his stained blue fingers just an inch away, his face suddenly breaks into a huge grin and he pops the blueberry into his own mouth. Oh he thought my expression was hilarious. Or maybe he was laughing at his own cleverness

    He loves new experiences, go anywhere new and he lights up. Took him to a Japanese restaurant today (first time he's been), he was scoffing everything, raw salmon sushi rolls by the mouth full, slurping the miso, and playing merry games with the soba noodles. Chop sticks are his new favorite toy.

    Of course I could go on and on...
    Any thoughts on what personality he resembles?


    @Saturned - Your story definitely resonates with me. I was quite passionate about saving bugs when I was little. Animals in general... felt keenly for them.

    Reality was almost too painful to bear when I was a child, I think I was born with existential crisis... on the outside I was easy going and quiet, but inside was a seething ball of angst. Nothing bothered me. All the things people wanted or did or said, I hardly noticed them. And on the other hand, everything bothered me. Was there a God? What is eternity? What does heaven mean? Is there meaning to life? Does the universe end? How can time work? How is it possible to change and grow and still be me? I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a stranger. Are people more valuable than animals? Why? What is reality really like? How does it feel to be a cat, an ant? How is it possible to feel things so intensely and not die? I felt I should be dissolving, exploding. How do these feelings and thoughts become part of a physical body?
    From as young as I can remember I was either imagining some fantasy or thinking these sorts of thoughts. From five years old (perhaps younger, but I can't be sure) I would pray every night that I would die because I couldn't take the pain of being.

    When I did engage with people I was often intense, this was before I learned to tone myself down for general consumption. I was extremely sensitive to condescension. Even the slightest hint of it would make me shut down. I wanted to speak of the thoughts that obsessed my brain, the only things that mattered to me. Adults seemed to think it cute. It was very offensive. I remember one instance when I was 5, saying something offhand to my parents, something I had been thinking that seemed obvious to me. They laughed fondly. I was wildly embarrassed and hid behind the couch for hours. Refused to come out until everyone had gone to bed. They apologized for laughing, which made no difference to me. Their reaction had shown what they really thought, an apology changed nothing.

    I often was unaware of how people saw me. Then someone would say something that would bring self-consciousness crashing down. One time my cousin and I (I would have been around 4-5, my cousin 5-6) were staying at my grandmother's house. We were playing dress up, then parading around the living room showing her our outfits. Back in the bedroom, my cousin tells me 'Grandma likes you best. She always smiles at you.'
    I was utterly shocked. Whether the statement was true, I had no idea. I was oblivious to that sort of thing. But what really shocked me was that she even had those type of thoughts. It felt mind boggling.

    I loved to sit in places that were 'not-places', as I thought of them. Perched in a tree, behind the shed where the gap between the wall and fence was just big enough for me, shimmying up the hallway walls to sit quiet at the ceiling, burrowing under all my stuffed animals so I disappeared, slipping between the hedge. I lived in fantasy. Reality hurt; it made me feel heavy and terrified and sad and full of more tears than could ever be shed in a million lives so I didn't cry because there was no point. Fantasy was happiness; it was floating on air currents and joy and fun and laughter and made me feel alive.

    I taught myself to read sometime before I was 4 years old. My mom isn't sure because I used to sit with my books all the time and she didn't know when I was reading or when I only had them memorized. I know it was before 4, because at that age I went to preschool and wasn't allowed to go into the more advanced group, butterflies they were called, even though as far as I could tell I could read better than any of the kids there (most of them, according to my judgment, couldn't even read). I had to be a caterpillar first. It was the rules, regardless of ability. It made me furious and I had no respect for the teachers after that. I had an argument with them about it. Not a lot made me angry, but that did. I remember feeling almost incoherent with rage about that. Then I became slightly naughty since I didn't like the teachers. I had no compunction about it, though I was careful not to get caught. But generally, I was a well behaved student. At least, I behaved according to the principles I set myself. Anything outside that was fair game. And I was a masterful liar. Sometimes I would wonder if there was something wrong with me, I felt not the slightest guilt for lying. Though sometimes I felt guilty because I didn't feel guilty. However I had strict internal rules of right and wrong, and I adhered to them rigidly. Some things I would never lie about, ever. My parents were very strict, and I found the majority of their rules arbitrary and pointless. So I didn't see that they applied. Breaking them didn't phase me, the only concern was not to get caught. I can remember specific instances of this from 5 years old, unsure about younger than that.

    ...Just some random things that came to mind.
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  6. #36
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    So was thinking about this some more...

    My siblings:
    ESTJ girl: Very independent, refused to allow help. Didn't want any help getting in or doing up her car seat. Learned to ride without training wheels very young. Potty trained herself. Couldn't tell a convincing lie to save herself. Extremely gullible as a young child. Loved playing with dolls, pushing them in a stroller, playing mommy. I was three years older and she followed me in every flight of fancy I dreamed up. Was very mean to INTJ boy when he was born (couldn't be trusted alone with him).

    INTJ boy: Deaf and has aspergers. Didn't find out he was deaf until he was 2 years old. He was always even more independent than the ESTJ, but in a less demanding way. He could care less about doing up his car seat, his independence was psychological... as in he just didn't need anyone, self contained. He played all day long, manipulating objects to the imaginings in his head. For a long time he had an obsession with cotton balls. He would pull and twist them, making noises, obviously lost in some imaginings, using them as some physical representation I guess. Sometimes you could tell they were cars, other times, you had no idea. He weaned himself from breastfeeding at a young age, and wanted a bottle. It took a long time to get him off that. He is 23 and he still sometimes has trouble remembering not to suck his thumb. I don't think I've ever seen him angry. Even as a baby he never cried. He smiled all the time as a young child. He became obsessed with trains and loved playing with the wooden train set with me, I would design elaborate sets and he would play with the trains on it (I was 6 years older). Would watch the same movie, or even the same scene within a movie, over and over and over... thousands of times. Play, rewind, play, rewind, play rewind. That flying train scene in Back to the Future 3, chitty chitty bang bang, the parts where the car flies, are two I can think of. He'd line up hot wheel cars. At Costco, he liked to lay on his belly on the big orange carts and hold a hot wheel car on the ground driving it all over the shop while the cart was pushed. He could play for hours and hours outside under a blanket, making crazy noises. Very behind in motor skills. Didn't like physical affection.

    ISFJ boy: Two years younger than INTJ, I was 8 when he was born. Extremely sensitive soul. You had to be careful not to have even the slightest tone of disapproval or anger in your voice or he would become hysterically upset, crying, hyperventilating, making himself sick from it. All he wanted was to please people. He would watch you with these bright, bright eyes, desperate for love. His bleeding heart was offered with unguarded vulnerability. It made me absolutely sick to see, as people stabbed it time and again. Just the sweetest little boy you could ever imagine. He adored his older brother, copied him in everything. INTJ didn't pay him the slightest mind. He always followed the rules, always. Very snuggly, loved any sort of physical affection. He never seemed to have his own desires, always morphing what he wanted to fit with those around him.

    Example: I was playing the piano, he approaches with his shy smile and asks if he can play with me. Then seeing I like it, he turns his brilliant eyes on me and asks if I can teach him how to play. I return the smile, the idea of sharing music with someone making me very happy (no one else in my family was interested).
    Then he asks, "Would you like that?" And I realize he was only asking to learn because he thought it would make me happy, it had nothing to do with him genuinely being interested. His interest was my happiness.

    ESFP girl: I don't remember her years as a young child so well, I was 12 when she was born and was becoming quite distracted by friends. But she was very shy, surprisingly so. Naturally athletic. Obsessed with dressing up, girly everything. Total skite and ham around family. Once she was comfortable with people, always managed to make herself the center of attention. Would stand in front of the mirror for ages, pulling faces, doing weird poses, manipulating her body. Laughter, laughter laughter. Very picky about food. Loved getting presents, even more than most kids. Quite selfish, but charming enough to get away with it.
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  7. #37
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    @raindancing

    Your siblings sound like living stereotypes.

    Incidentally im not putting this out as a negative, it is just an observation, without condemnation or condonation.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  8. #38
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    @raindancing

    Your siblings sound like living stereotypes.

    Incidentally im not putting this out as a negative, it is just an observation, without condemnation or condonation.
    And does this say something about them, or about my perceptions
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  9. #39
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raindancing View Post
    And does this say something about them, or about my perceptions
    Yeah this is what I was wondering about. But I cant know unless I met them all....besides everything is perception to a human being, we are like perception personified.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  10. #40
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    Yeah this is what I was wondering about. But I cant know unless I met them all....besides everything is perception to a human being, we are like perception personified.
    I figured that's what you meant.
    Considering that viewing individuals through stereotypes is one of the things I particularly virulently hate, I can't say I enjoyed the comment.
    I don't think that I do, but of course since not doing it is important to me, I have a vested interest in believing I don't. Does that make any sense? Who ever can know how much they can trust their perceptions about their perceptions.

    Of course I also talk to my family regarding their perceptions about each other, seeing how they compare against mine. And for the most part things seem to match up. But it's most interesting when a number of people have a different perception about something. How do you go about determining what's valid when each person is sure their view is correct? And is it even appropriate to try...
    (just random thoughts... don't look for a point cause I doubt there is one)
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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