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  1. #11
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    If you go into this theory at any point with the assumption that a type will ever conform to a series of set traits you will always be disappointed.

    Human first, type second. It's a nice guideline perhaps.....but a terrible rule.

    ps: Sorry I didnt mean to put a damper on the topic.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  2. #12
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    This site, for example, say they base their recommendations off observation/experience (i.e., empiricism), as opposed to rationalist models.
    Umm...disagree with this site's recommendations for my type:

    ENTJ

    • Best types for a relationship: ESTJ (He would have to die.), ISTP (He would have to die.), ENTJ (He would have to die.), ENFJ (barely, although the possibility of his death is still present.), INTJ (No.)
    • Possible types for a relationship: ISTJ (If someone needs a lot of security in their relationship, this does work but...it's not for me.), ESTP (Possible but would be exhausting if you don't lean heavily E.), ENTP (Wouldn't recommend this combo.), INTP (Works unbelievably well until it stops working.), INFJ (Possible.), ENFP (Not a snowball's chance in hell.)
    • Least likely types for a relationship: ESFJ, ISFJ, ESFP, ISFP, INFP (Agreed on all except for xSFP since they're a possible, reliant on how close to the S/N and J/P borders they reside.)

  3. #13
    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    ENFP:

    xSFP: No. No. Too much intimacy. We really got inside each other, and before we even had a relationship, I was ready to run away. Good friends, bad romance.

    INFJ: I see why this is recommended. Honestly, it really flows well, but for me it's too much harmony for a romantic relationship. All the smoothness smothers the spark. Best for friendship, but romance just fizzles out.

    Confession, I hate kind of xSFJs. Wouldn't date one. Same with ESTJs.

    ISTJ: Delightfully frustrating, but miscommunication was like 1,000 emotional papercuts everyday.

    xNTJ: No experience, but surprisingly, very little attraction. I feel like with every INTJ I've met, we have the same ideas for very different reasons and can't quite bring ourselves to like each other.

    IxTP: I'm currently with one, and it's quite good. You wouldn't think this would work, but somehow it does. He's more ISTP than INTP, and it's easy as breathing. Problems like any other relationship, not perfect, but there's a sort of underlying harmony that allows for drama without much pain.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

    ENFP. 7w6 – 4w3 – 1w9 sx/so. Aries. Dilettante. Overly anxious optimist.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    It was actually really nice until she revealed her poop fetish to me...(1.5 years)


    Quote Originally Posted by Chiharu View Post
    ENFP
    Male, or female?

  5. #15
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    I've only dated an INTP, 2 years ago. It was a long distance relationship - we met irl once. Distance made the relationship a bit troubled though. I wouldn't recommend anyone to get involved in a long distance relationship with an INTP. We had a lot of common interests. Stock trading, video games, poker, psychology...which is quite rare. I could talk with her about basically anything, and she would be able to discuss with me, rather than hear me speaking . She's not into parties and she doesn't like alcohol, which were a great bonuses.
    Cons:
    Flaky
    Too passive - I had to basically initiate everything. I think she's actually insecure, but she hides it well.
    Insensitive - she has a good heart, but is pretty oblivious to feelings.
    Our combination seemed more like a friendship with mutual attraction than a romantic relationship - which I sort of liked because the demand for attention is smooth. We're both very focused in our careers, and we don't want relationships to get in the way.
    And if this is any indicator, we are planning to meet each other again this year. I don't know how much can be attributed to this, but she actually seems to be perfect for me. She definitely has flaws, but those are flaws I know how to deal with. The mutual understanding is too good to be wasted.

    I think INTXs are the best partners for me. They usually have nerdy interests and they don't make me feel guilty for being insensitive/blunt. And I like as much exclusivity as possible, so introverts are an easy pick for me.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  6. #16
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    My serious relationships:

    ISFJ- 4 years. Ex-fiancee. Liked him alot, but I he was a little too conventional in that I think he wanted a more stable predictable life. He was a great guy though. Very warm and sweet and had a great sense of humor.
    ENTP- 4 years. Moved straight in with him. Easiest communication by far. We had very similiar taste and worked together. Absolutely fun and an iconoclast of the highest order, so he didn't mind my quirky interests and ideas. In the end it was a matter of profoundly differing worldviews and outlooks on life that made it hard for me to envision marriage or such. We're still friendly though and I really admire who he is, despite all the prickles.
    ENFP- 5 years. My husband. There's mutual values and respect. The "P:ness" is sometimes hard to take but nothing I can't live with. A really good and warm, generous with his time and really caring. The type who'd give his shoes off his feet to a homeless man on a cold winter's day...I know this because he's actually done that.
    There was also mad, wild kind of a chemistry with my husband from the get go, so it was extremely romantic. Still is.
    Last edited by Reverie; 06-12-2012 at 10:48 AM.

  7. #17
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Note: A lot of what I base as a "good match" for myself is a good balance of similarities (for understanding) and differences (to help each other grow).

    ENTP (current): Been dating for about 2.5 years now. So far this has been the most successful relationship for me. We're really different, so it's not boring and we really help each other grow, but we share Ti as a common ground so we can communicate well with each other (sometimes it takes a little effort though with the perception differences, but what's a relationship without some effort?). We balance each other out. However, I've dated another ENTP before who drove me nuts. He was non-stop Ne, which is hard for me to keep up with if my partner doesn't take the time to make sure I'm on the same page (and vice versa). My current ENTP is a little more balanced and a more developed/mature individual.

    ENFP: Also very good, but a lot more work than an ENTP since we don't share that Ti as a common ground. There's a lot of passion there, one that's hard for a Ti user to wrap their little heads around. With two very mature, developed individuals that really know themselves, I could see this as a very satisfying relationship. Sort of yin and yang like. I think at the time I met this ENFP, neither of us were there. I wouldn't let it go very far.

    ESTJ: I worked pretty well with the ESTJ I dated on a day-to-day basis. Long term, I didn't see it as a very satisfying one. As far as I could tell, he wasn't very developed. I his world, Te + Si was all he needed. He didn't really have that urge to explore hist true self more. He was all ego. While I'm not the best at "exploring my true self", it's something I seek in a partner to help myself grow with them. I've met other ESTJs that I could see myself working with, though. So this could be a very good match with some individuals.

    INTP: Obviously we have a lot of differences as far as type go, but it wasn't different enough for me. And even with our different interests, we just couldn't connect with each other on them. A really good companionable friendship though.

    ESTP: Didn't really date one, just had a brief fling with a now really good friend. Same as the INTP, really... just not enough differences. Great, great friendship though. We have an awesome understanding of each other, one we don't really find in others. I adore my ESTP friends
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

  8. #18
    Riva
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    I've been in quite many flings but hasn't been in long-term relationships. So I guess it would be inappropriate to give my opinion on relationships. If there it is a thread based on flings I shall gladly contribute.

  9. #19
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    I fell in love with:
    -xNTPs: we understand and like each other ("I am smart and you are too") but we're different and they have little patience. Never been in a relationship with one though.
    -xSFPs: good ones, they are usually cute but can be selfish, it's all about what they want and need now. But I feel we can share only an half of who we are.
    -ENFPs: the best. They're funny, smart and have values. And they usually like me. There's chemistry, we start talking about random stuff with our eyes open wide (do you know the ENFP look, right?) I don't really know why, but they're charming and make me feel alive and "true to my own self" (hahaha INFP language).

    But I think you never know. Two people of any type can make a relationship work.
    INFP 9w8 5w4 4w5 sx/sp/so
    Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Te

  10. #20
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AffirmitiveAnxiety View Post
    If you go into this theory at any point with the assumption that a type will ever conform to a series of set traits you will always be disappointed.

    Human first, type second. It's a nice guideline perhaps.....but a terrible rule.

    ps: Sorry I didnt mean to put a damper on the topic.
    Eh, not a damper. All of what you said is true.

    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Umm...disagree with this site's recommendations for my type:

    ENTJ

    • Best types for a relationship: ESTJ (He would have to die.), ISTP (He would have to die.), ENTJ (He would have to die.), ENFJ (barely, although the possibility of his death is still present.), INTJ (No.)


    Quote Originally Posted by Chiharu View Post
    ENFP:

    xSFP: No. No. Too much intimacy. We really got inside each other, and before we even had a relationship, I was ready to run away. Good friends, bad romance.

    INFJ: I see why this is recommended. Honestly, it really flows well, but for me it's too much harmony for a romantic relationship. All the smoothness smothers the spark. Best for friendship, but romance just fizzles out.
    Interesting, isn't it... how something that is generally good, in too big of a dose, can really kill a relationship. I had a relationship once where it was too much connection that killed it off. I suspect I was seeing another ENFP. It's just not intriguing to hear someone echo basically your exact thoughts all the time. Mystery, gone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    And I like as much exclusivity as possible, so introverts are an easy pick for me.
    That's interesting to me. I've dated almost exclusively extraverts for no specific conscious reason, but I think for me the feeling of "specialness" / exclusivity is strengthened by their social interaction. It's like, if you socialize this much and yet you're still ready and willing to leave your friends to go hang out with me, and you'll give up being available at night to go to sleep with me, even if i'm tired and cranky and whining, and over all these people, you share your most bare, exposed self, with me - it just really makes it hit home for me. Possibly because I'm an extravert too, and that's easier for me to understand than the introvert equivalent of them giving up their alone time for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    I've been in quite many flings but hasn't been in long-term relationships. So I guess it would be inappropriate to give my opinion on relationships. If there it is a thread based on flings I shall gladly contribute.
    Contribute away, whatever ideas you have on the topic are welcome. People have leaned towards sharing about long-term relationships, but I think short-term spark is valuable to talk about, too.

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