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  1. #21
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    Precisely. Typically, the objective of someone with smooth and strong Fe is to make sure the group atmosphere is comfortable and "appropriate". If it's a formal dinner and someone is interjecting good-humoured but crass comments and is making the atmosphere "awkward", then the Fe user feels compelled to fix that. So basically if you can convince the person that everyone's fine with it, then he/she will cool it.

    Also, it's probably more about them than you. If they don't feel comfortable in the situation/atmosphere or the less they know, the more overbearing they may be with the social rules. E3s are usually extra self-conscious about this, I think.

    EDIT: Social rules are like a proactive measure for the Fe dom.
    Yeah, I know what you mean. I find 2 w 3 ENFJ's the very hardest to deal with because their Fe is just dreadful, as well as the 3 w 2 types. The easiest ENFJ's for me to deal with are the 8 w 9's.

  2. #22
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    It's just that sometimes I enjoy playing with groups and saying things for shock effect just to see what happens.
    More and more you make the accuracy of your ENTP typing clear

    To EFs in general, social group harmony is important, and there are some unwritten rules to socializing, including that you try to get along with everyone else for the sake of the group benefit. To say something just for shock effect is to essentially endanger the entire group's pleasant time for your gain alone. It's pretty selfish, in a way. So while I understand what you mean by ENFJs sort of taking on the role of moral police, and I know that it can be frustrating, it's also frustrating to have that one person spoil a really good conversation just because they feel like being ridiculous all of a sudden. IME, that's what it usually seems like ENFJs are trying to avoid, and their Ni is probably backing up Fe to rope in your Ne, which probably seems a bit superfluous to them. If you can demonstrate that you can interact without spoiling group harmony, then the Fe guard should go down, somewhat akin to what Glycerine was saying.

    But as for getting ENFJs to quit acting like themselves because you feel like it's impeding your ability to act like yourself, well, that's kind of a hard question.

  3. #23
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    More and more you make the accuracy of your ENTP typing clear

    To EFs in general, social group harmony is important, and there are some unwritten rules to socializing, including that you try to get along with everyone else for the sake of the group benefit. To say something just for shock effect is to essentially endanger the entire group's pleasant time for your gain alone. It's pretty selfish, in a way. So while I understand what you mean by ENFJs sort of taking on the role of moral police, and I know that it can be frustrating, it's also frustrating to have that one person spoil a really good conversation just because they feel like being ridiculous all of a sudden.
    No, I generally am a master of groups. I know just what to say and what to do in order to get a group to like me. Often times before I speak I will kind of read the room so to say. Then, sometimes I just randomly blurt something out just for kicks. Let's say for instance, a while back. They held a large wine tasting event in one of my favorite shopping plazas. The people there were all really rich and snobby and one of them said, "You should go taste the wine. It's simply splendid." I then said, "How much is it?" and she told me that it was 50 bucks. I then said, "Fifty bucks! That's bullshit! I think I'll just drink a bottle of "Old English" and drink it out in the parking lot." She then said, "While I never!" I then said, "Yeah, well you should try some."

  4. #24
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    Hanging out with an ENFJ sounds like my personal version of hell.

  5. #25
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    No, I generally am a master of groups. I know just what to say and what to do in order to get a group to like me. Often times before I speak I will kind of read the room so to say. Then, sometimes I just randomly blurt something out just for kicks. Let's say for instance, a while back. They held a large wine tasting event in one of my favorite shopping plazas. The people there were all really rich and snobby and one of them said, "You should go taste the wine. It's simply splendid." I then said, "How much is it?" and she told me that it was 50 bucks. I then said, "Fifty bucks! That's bullshit! I think I'll just drink a bottle of "Old English" and drink it out in the parking lot." She then said, "While I never!" I then said, "Yeah, well you should try some."


    I mean, I don't personally see the point in that. You (probably, I'm guessing) don't know if she was a horrible snob or a sweet, fun, and genuine person who was being nice by extending the invitation out to you, and you went out of your way to offend her. It is funny, and I'm not a fan of stupid pretentiousness, but it does seem kind of pointlessly upsetting to say. TBH, if I was there, I'd probably have laughed at your comment, because - well - it's funny. But I can see someone with more of a social consciousness feeling like it would be beneficial to curtail that sort of thing.

    But my first comment - about your type - I know, ENTPs often have a good read on groups. It's hypothesized to be the tert Fe.

  6. #26
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Hanging out with an ENFJ sounds like my personal version of hell.
    ENTJ types and ENFJ's often don't get along I've found. Hanging out with an ENFJ one on one is cool, but if you get an ENFJ in a large formal occasion it's like hell on earth. They do this thing where they'll like socially put you down in an indirect way. For instance, I once went to a formal restaurant with an ENFJ and I went to eat with one fork and it turned out that you were actually supposed to eat the salad with a different fork. Then, the ENFJ did this thing where they like fakely laughed, and put on this big fake "Joe Biden Style" politicians smile and was like, "Oh he's new to this, and but he'll get it eventually". At this point, I'm fuck this, and walked out.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post


    I mean, I don't personally see the point in that. You (probably, I'm guessing) don't know if she was a horrible snob or a sweet, fun, and genuine person who was being nice by extending the invitation out to you, and you went out of your way to offend her. It is funny, and I'm not a fan of stupid pretentiousness, but it does seem kind of pointlessly upsetting to say. TBH, if I was there, I'd probably have laughed at your comment, because - well - it's funny. But I can see someone with more of a social consciousness feeling like it would be beneficial to curtail that sort of thing.

    But my first comment - about your type - I know, ENTPs often have a good read on groups. It's hypothesized to be the tert Fe.
    Again though, I knew exactly how they would react to my comment. I made the comment because I wouldn't to see the outraged look on their faces. It gave me a huge laugh.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Basically, the same way Eric Cartman thinks of gingers:
    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clip...45/gingervitus
    INTJ humor. Always funnier on the inside of one's head.

    No offence meant, just taking a plucky jab at your ego as a comedian

    Thanks for the link. Unfortunately it's not available in my area.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    INTJ humor. Always funnier on the inside of one's head.

    No offence meant, just taking a plucky jab at your ego as a comedian

    Thanks for the link. Unfortunately it's not available in my area.
    Use a browser proxy. I just tested this one on the link and it worked just fine.
    http://www.cachemoi.com/
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  9. #29
    Glycerine
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    I tend to get along better with ENTJ than other ENFJs. I am sure about INTJs though. Hah!

  10. #30
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I didn't read the thread and am totally just throwing this idea out there, but you could always try to cleverly give the appearance of out fe-ing the fe user

    So in this scenario of being censored, you could try to flip the social norms/harmony card against the Fe-user by ever so politely revealing the disharmony they are creating in censoring you while subtely pointing out how they do it to others. This would create moar disharmony but if you were clever enough it'd point back to the fe users censorship.

    Ya, I don't know if it'd work.. but I may just have to try this somtime =P
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

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