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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    It's like I love to hang out with ENFJ in a one on one environment, but I hate being around them in large groups.
    In the OP you said, 'I feel like they trap me in this bubble of "social rules."' at that point I thought you meant that ENFJs were pushing a lot of expectations and social rules on you personally. But now it sounds like maybe you mean that ENFJs get pontificating in a group setting and you get bored; you would rather there was more give and take or something like that.

    IOW I'm having a little difficulty understanding exactly what problem you're having with ENFJs in large groups. Just curious.

  2. #12
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    In the OP you said, 'I feel like they trap me in this bubble of "social rules."' at that point I thought you meant that ENFJs were pushing a lot of expectations and social rules on you personally. But now it sounds like maybe you mean that ENFJs get pontificating in a group setting and you get bored; you would rather there was more give and take or something like that.

    IOW I'm having a little difficulty understanding exactly what problem you're having with ENFJs in large groups. Just curious.
    My problem is that many ENFJ's I feel impede on my freedom of speech when they are out with me. It seems like they act like a natural censor for everything that I say. It gets really annoying and I don't know how to tell them to quit without offending them.

  3. #13
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    You're still putting it a little generally. They impede your freedom of speech? Maybe it's best to just call it bad chemistry between two very different types of Extravert in a social setting.

    If you want some strategies, you could try reading "The Art of Mingling: Proven Techniques for Mastering Any Room" by Jeanne Martinet. It's about working a room and it has all kinds of neat tricks for things like handling and/or getting away from bores, dealing with arrogant celebrities, steering conversations, etc. Fun stuff if you want to consider strategies for handling various situations in social settings.

    Another thing I've noticed about ENFJs is that they like to pontificate about broad overviews and trends. So if you ask them about their concrete, personal affairs, it tends to deflate them a bit. They can't pontificate about that sort of thing, and it forces them to come down to earth a bit. In general: Work on steering the conversation a bit more, and perhaps you won't feel so much at their mercy.

    [Edit:] Or the simplest thing may be to just steer away from them in social settings. Nothing wrong with that; sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineLine View Post
    You're still putting it a little generally. They impede your freedom of speech? Maybe it's best to just call it bad chemistry between two very different types of Extravert in a social setting.

    If you want some strategies, you could try reading "The Art of Mingling: Proven Techniques for Mastering Any Room" by Jeanne Martinet. It's about working a room and it has all kinds of neat tricks for things like handling and/or getting away from bores, dealing with arrogant celebrities, steering conversations, etc. Fun stuff if you want to consider strategies for handling various situations in social settings.

    Another thing I've noticed about ENFJs is that they like to pontificate about broad overviews and trends. So if you ask them about their concrete, personal affairs, it tends to deflate them a bit. They can't pontificate about that sort of thing, and it forces them to come down to earth a bit. In general: Work on steering the conversation a bit more, and perhaps you won't feel so much at their mercy.

    [Edit:] Or the simplest thing may be to just steer away from them in social settings. Nothing wrong with that; sometimes the chemistry just isn't there.
    That looks like a cool book. I will definetely pick it up.

  5. #15
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    I usually cool it when I know it's an open atmosphere: casual, non-judgmental place. They are too wrapped up in what others think. IME, Fe doms are typically like that when they don't feel like they can let their guard down.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glycerine View Post
    I usually cool it when I know it's an open atmosphere: casual, non-judgmental place. They are too wrapped up in what others think. IME, Fe doms are typically like that when they don't feel like they can let their guard down.
    Wow, this is one only good responses that I've received on this thread. So in other words what you are saying is that Fe will not be as strong at like a bar or something, but will raise up sky high at like maybe a formal dinner party for example?

  7. #17
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm not even sure how to answer that. I don't tend to think anything in particular about people who don't use Fi the way I do, except "they don't use Fi the way I do."

    But in reality nobody is without Fi.
    Sociopaths. Psychopaths.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    Wow, this is one only good responses that I've received on this thread. So in other words what you are saying is that Fe will not be as strong at like a bar or something, but will raise up sky high at like maybe a formal dinner party for example?
    Precisely. Typically, the objective of someone with smooth and strong Fe is to make sure the group atmosphere is comfortable and "appropriate". If it's a formal dinner and someone is interjecting good-humoured but crass comments and is making the atmosphere "awkward", then the Fe user feels compelled to fix that. So basically if you can convince the person that everyone's fine with it, then he/she will cool it.

    Also, it's probably more about them than you. If they don't feel comfortable in the situation/atmosphere or the less they know, the more overbearing they may be with the social rules. E3s are usually extra self-conscious about this, I think.

    EDIT: Social rules are like a proactive measure for the Fe dom.

  9. #19
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    I just let them think that I think the way they do.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    What do you think of people without Fi?
    Basically, the same way Eric Cartman thinks of gingers:
    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clip...45/gingervitus

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