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  1. #11
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I will answer this in a Te fashion.


    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post

    1. Chill out and don't think that what you have to say is the word of god.


    2. Understand that everyone has their opinions, and that when you try to use Te for others that it will fail no matter how smart the conclusion if you aren't tactful enough to get your message across.


    3.Otherwise, the person will focus more on the fact that you're being so rude and blunt and pushy rather than what you are actually saying.


    1. Why I would I do that ? If they have a real counter argument they will use it. Otherwise my claims are factually stronger than theirs. (despite that this is politically and socially incorrect) And if they indeed have such a argument I want to know it even if this means that they will use it as a defense from me.



    2. If you are so impressed with form over the content I am not even concerned about getting my massage across. (or I can simply throw you out of my company because this is in my opinion dangerous behaviour ..... and that is it - case closed)



    3. If there is no physical violence I dont see a real problem. Especially since I want to surround myself with people I can talk freely and be what I am. So be open for the idea that being nice can also "burn a bridge".


    Do you have any idea how frustrating is to be nice nice all the time ? However some people simply dont get that some other people consider this to be a waste of time (in general). Just imagine what things I could have done if I wasn't opening you slowly for conversation ...... just so that I can get my massage across.




    (this post is just an example of why Te often has to or wants to hurt someone)

  2. #12
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    ^ wow man it really sounds like you've got life wrapped around your little finger there.

    Being right is fine, but being right isn't worth being alone.

  3. #13

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    Bazinga!

  4. #14
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    ^ wow man it really sounds like you've got life wrapped around your little finger there.

    Being right is fine, but being right isn't worth being alone.

    Just as the MBTI says: I am socally insensitive version of you.
    So when you mix your drive with strong introversion the above post is exactly what you wll get.


    (but I am pretty sure I am but trully evil ... I am just naturally pretty blunt)

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    lol, I knew that it had to be an ENFP who posted this, because a Te dom could give less of a shit if they piss people off with what they do. That's more of an Fe thing or an Fi thing to avoid confrontation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    My though exactly , what explains why there is no TJs in this thread.
    The reason for this is because the functions are so different depending on what place they are in for people. I find te-doms/aux to be less annoying with their Te versus Te-tert/inf types. Te for the former are like swords in the hand of a master, simply an extension of self and will be directed with confidence. Te for the latter are children getting into their father's armory. Very clunky and out of control.


    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I've been on this forum enough to have heard from Fe and Ti users that Te can be overwhelming/aggravating to them. I want to understand better why this is so. And I want to know how to fine tune my use of Te in such a way that it doesn't unnecessarily chafe.

    • Advice or hints on how to use Te without pissing people off?
    • Any Te horror stories you want to share?


    I think the problem Te-tert/fe users have is that they have Te as their go-to weapon for destruction... when it should first be utilized as a means of learning how to become detached from an emotional situation. I find Te most helpful in my life when I keep it simple, with a purpose, and narrowly directed at my targets.

    I have this ESFJ employee who needs a lot of guiding to do things My Way. I find the easiest way to handle her is to just be very clear and precise with what I want and make sure she knows I want no deviating from the course. The other day I told her to do something and she started arguing with me over why she was doing it her way. I listened and said "I understand that that is the way that makes sense for you, but here is how I need this done." I just kept repeating that until she agreed. No drama, but it's done my way.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    1. Why I would I do that ? If they have a real counter argument they will use it. Otherwise my claims are factually stronger than theirs. (despite that this is politically and socially incorrect) And if they indeed have such a argument I want to know it even if this means that they will use it as a defense from me.

    2. If you are so impressed with form over the content I am not even concerned about getting my massage across. (or I can simply throw you out of my company because this is in my opinion dangerous behaviour ..... and that is it - case closed)
    The entire discussion at hand is, essentially, "I deem 'using Te' as important, but I also don't want to chafe other people. How do I reconcile the two?"

    If you care about having a discussion with certain people, you will want to try to not actively piss them off, because that's how those people function--so, take them or leave them.

    If you don't communicate with the other person, then you're missing out on their perception of reality and will continue to believe that you're 'right,' even in cases where you are not. It could be that the other person is right, but that you've irritated them to the point that they'll no longer talk to you--if that's the case, it's you who will be missing out on the truth.

    That is, you're assuming that the other party will use a counterargument if they have it and that, if they don't use it, then your argument is the correct one. If you assume that you're right just because the other person gives up, then, sometimes, you'll be assuming that you're right in cases where you're actually not right. They could very well be right, but could be giving up due to a perceived lack of respect or due to a perception that you're not listening to them. They'd believe that you're closed-minded and that there's no sense in attempting to convince a closed-minded person.

    Stated in a more direct way, the assumption that you're necessarily right if the other person stops talking to you is sometimes (if not often) a faulty one.
    3. If there is no physical violence I dont see a real problem. Especially since I want to surround myself with people I can talk freely and be what I am. So be open for the idea that being nice can also "burn a bridge".

    Do you have any idea how frustrating is to be nice nice all the time ? However some people simply dont get that some other people consider this to be a waste of time (in general). Just imagine what things I could have done if I wasn't opening you slowly for conversation ...... just so that I can get my massage across.
    Likewise, if the other person wants to hold a discussion with you, they'd be better served by trying to be blunt with you than by trying to be nice and skirting around their points--because that's what you value. But you can't force others to do so; it's easier to force yourself to adapt to them if you want to have a discussion.

    (this post is just an example of why Te often has to or wants to hurt someone)
    Even if it may 'often' have to, this thread is about the cases where it doesn't have to. It's also about expanding those cases.

  7. #17
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bologna View Post


    The entire discussion at hand is, essentially, "I deem 'using Te' as important, but I also don't want to chafe other people. How do I reconcile the two?"

    If you care about having a discussion with certain people, you will want to try to not actively piss them off, because that's how those people function--so, take them or leave them.

    If you don't communicate with the other person, then you're missing out on their perception of reality and will continue to believe that you're 'right,' even in cases where you are not. It could be that the other person is right, but that you've irritated them to the point that they'll no longer talk to you--if that's the case, it's you who will be missing out on the truth.

    That is, you're assuming that the other party will use a counterargument if they have it and that, if they don't use it, then your argument is the correct one. If you assume that you're right just because the other person gives up, then, sometimes, you'll be assuming that you're right in cases where you're actually not right. They could very well be right, but could be giving up due to a perceived lack of respect or due to a perception that you're not listening to them. They'd believe that you're closed-minded and that there's no sense in attempting to convince a closed-minded person.

    Stated in a more direct way, the assumption that you're necessarily right if the other person stops talking to you is sometimes (if not often) a faulty one.

    Likewise, if the other person wants to hold a discussion with you, they'd be better served by trying to be blunt with you than by trying to be nice and skirting around their points--because that's what you value. But you can't force others to do so; it's easier to force yourself to adapt to them if you want to have a discussion.

    Even if it may 'often' have to, this thread is about the cases where it doesn't have to. It's also about expanding those cases.


    1. First of all I wanted to give a picture of why Te has to be blunt and why it is in it's nature is to shake thing up. Otherwise it may not even be Te that you are actaully using or you support it heaviliy with Fe , Ne or Ti ... etc. (I am one of the people that thinks that we use all 8 functions , now the only thing that is under question here are ratios)


    2. I am not exactly a member of western civiliazation and culture. So what you have wrote is not 100% true for my environment.
    Especially since the legacy of communism and feudalism is still pretty fresh ..... what makes most of the people pretty submissive. So when you hit them with what you call "rudness" there are pretty good odds that you will get what you want. (if you are not trully over the line and you ask for something realistic)


    The reason why I have started that capitalism thread that ended in Political sub-forum is exactlly because I never felt that I am enough in control of my own life or that my environment is furfilling even the ..... lets call it "minimum of efficiency".

  8. #18
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    It's actually pretty simple. If you have the control to not need to demolish the dumb ideas of others, you're halfway there.

    Just don't be a dick about it.
    And the award for self congratulatory oxymoron of the year goes to ...
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    And the award for self congratulatory oxymoron of the year goes to ...
    Do you think if a fish had Te that it would be able to get out of the barrel?

  10. #20
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Do you think if a fish had Te that it would be able to get out of the barrel?
    Well depends on the weight of the barrel and the type of vertical and lateral momentum that fish can get and the gravity in that place, and how plastic its body is (the speed of deceleration so the rate of transfer of the momentum into an equal and opposed force of acceleration in the opposite direction for the barrel (-entropy loss) .. ), salinity levels will play a role as well. Now the question is: if the fish gets out of the barrel will it die ? Is there water around ?
    if the barrel is in the sea or in water ALREADY the fish doesnt need much to get out of it... Except if the gravity is really SUPER strong. Though bodies do not take gravity differentials in the same way in water but of course the inertia remains the same so , still.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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