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Thread: ESTJ and ESTP conflict

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    Default ESTJ and ESTP conflict

    Hey guys. I'm new here but I have been studying typology for awhile as a hobby. I am wondering how I can get along with my ESTP college roommate (me being an ESTJ). We seem to have lots of conflicts but go back to being friends quickly. Unfortunately I think there lies some tension between us. Lately he has been trying to assert his alpha status a lot and I am trying to resist blowing up in his face. (Like my INTJ friend did to him).

    He really has a strong superiority complex and I feel like even though we are good friends he competes with me where he shouldn't. (For example at a party he will hit on the same girl that I was, etc). He also always always tries to show me the better way of doing things...all the way down to how I should do something silly like put dishes away. How can I tell him to back off so he gets the message without me turning into his enemy? I need to diffuse this unhealthy tension. Or is it just impossible for ESTJ and ESTP to get along beyond a shallow friendship?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    9w1 sp/sx


    It seems this ESTP is really absorbed in a one-upsmanship with you. And as far as showing you the better way of doing things, I recommend you listen to him if it's worth it. Perceivers tend to have their own way of going about things. Their sense of order is internalized, so you won't find it easily. TPs especially don't like to comply with organizational standards set forth by TJ types, and so the TP finds a special organizational method that the TJ type may view as silly. I would recommend trying to get even with him without coming down on him, but I'm not sure he can let go of his impulsive one-upsmanship to be able to comply. Good luck!
    Thinkist: not optimist nor pessimist. I am primarily competent in the enneagram.
    SX 9w1, SP 5w6, SP 3w4 | Split with the first two
    Ti-Se-Si-Ni-Te-Fi-Ne-Fe. I'm always questioning this, particularly the Si.
    Big 5/Global5/SLOAN: RCUEX

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