My romantic interest in someone motivates me to know both our types

[Medtnertunes]

I don't know what to think of MBTI or any typing system. But when I want to know my type, I want to know my type! When I'm nervous about how I'll size up to my romantic interest, I fall back on typing systems sometimes, foolishly hoping it will lend me strength. Allow me to be a fool.

People on this forum a while back typed me as ESTP or INFP, if I recall correctly, two very opposite types I know. I usually score INTP or INFP. The girl I'm interested, I think scored INTJ. I would describe her as a very sweet and compassionate person, but also very intellectual, mostly keeping that aspect of herself understated. I was obsessed with this system called socionics as a younger teen back when I had no social life. I "learned" about intertype relations there, how different types relate to each other, and in ways that would either benefit or detract from a relationship. I am really into this girl, and she likes me too, we've only met once, she lives in another state, we communicate via written letter and skype. I'm left fantasizing and wondering if it will ever happen because we both have our separate paths to take might now that are not likely to intersect again for another few months, and its for the future to tell whether we'll ever be able to spend any length of time together. Why am I coming to typing for any sort of solace? Would it help me?

Its really quite ridiculous. I will go through different introspective lenses where I view myself as an ESTP, and her as an INTJ. Then I'll modify it so I'll view myself as INFP and her as INFJ. Whatever type I figure us to be at any given moment affects my outlook on my future relationship that may never be, when I'm in this mode of thinking.

Does anyone else run into problems like this? Too much time for thinking...

 

[shineyellow]

Hello fellow,

Well I think you come to typology not searching for a solace, but as a means of better understanding that girl you’re interested, since you guys aren’t having much contact.
It’s really understandable, because when we like someone, we want to know as much as possible about the person – even the most peculiar- features – and unfortunately this process is going in a different way for both of you, because of the distance and all.
It’s not a bad thing at all, because I’m sure you’ll learn a lot about her personality and how to develop your relationship in a good way. My only advice is: a person is much more than four letters, don’t try to categorize it or to limit it to what you read here. The best way to know her better is day-to-day and face-to-face, and I wish you guys have this opportunity soon.

Good luck to you!

 

[Medtnertunes]

Yep. I'm not nearly as thoughtful about this topic as I was a few days ago. Things are back to normal. Thanks for your reply.

 

[King sns]

In these situations I think people are picking themselves apart a lot and so small behaviors are supposed to support the main theme of things. Over-analysis. I don't know if this is the case for you at all, but I think it helps to go back to very shallow basic type descriptions at times- the exoskeleton of your personality. (Hmm.. I didn't mean to use that word, it just kind of came out. I'm leaving it! )

Oh, sorry, I didn't see your last post. Good luck!!